11 Random Things

Actually this is 3 X 11 for randomness, but it starts with... I'm still not over the "wow" of the April A to Z challenge. Are you? The writing community is so supportive, sweet, and encouraging that they regularly hand out doses of cheese,  (in the form of blog awards,) just to say, "You're awesome." Today, I need to say thank you and pass along the love. 

So, from the A-Z Challenge, thank you Mary, and not from the A-Z Challenge, thank you Candice, for the Liebster! 

I guess I'm supposed to share 11 random facts and answer 11 questions, and pass it on. So, if you want my random facts, you can find them here.

1. What's the first thing you ever wrote that you were proud of?
Um, the first thing I ever wrote. I think it was my name. ;D

2. What kind of roller Skates did you own/rent?
Ice skates? See, I have bad ankles. Bad ankles=bad accidents on rolling footwear. 

3. Did you name your bike as a kid? As an adult?
... ... ... Was I supposed to? 

4. Has another person's dietary habits ever ended or threatened to end the relationship?
*scratching head* Not really. Dietary habits made for interesting relationships when we lived in the heart of an orthodox Jewish neighborhood--like being asked to come over and turn on someone's malfunctioning stove on Shabbas, or being unable to make goodies for the kids next door.

5. Is there a sport you could not live without following?
LOL. I have 5 brothers, so you'd think this would be the case, right? Is video gaming a sport? Or maybe programming?

6. What is it about ketchup?
I'm not sure. Mustard's more my speed, thank you. (And mustard is late a lot less often.)

7. Have you ever shaved your head, or wanted to?
NO. Crazy heads.

8. Is there a song you know the lyrics to that you will sing just to annoy people?
Have you met me? My life is a musical. Every kid has their own theme song, every action a soundtrack, and because we have 3 kids we love to annoy, we have a full roster of "annoying" to choose from. It's more a question of what's your brand of annoying? 

9. What is the first meal you learned how to cook? Do you still make it the same way?
Spaghetti. Yup. Is there another way to make it? Boil water, throw pasta in pot?

10. Have you ever turned down an invitation out of spite?
Nope. 

11. Did you believe new sneakers made you run faster? What if they did?
Nah! It was the pixie wings I borrowed from my neighboring sprite that made me faster. Or was it the cheetah whiskers?

And now to pass this bad boy along!

My nominees:

Sania Heba
Fida Islaih
Lynn Proctor
L. Blankenship
Ru
Summer Ross
Jessie Harrell
Afshan
Larissa
Tammy
Rachel

My questions:

1. What is the best book you've ever read?

2. What is your sport of choice? To play or watch?

3. What's the coolest place you've ever visited?

4. Favorite song or artists?

5. What's your biggest pet peeve?

6. What is your brand of geek? (Or obsession?) 

7. What movie do you have memorized, word for word?

8. If you could choose one myth to be true, which would it be: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, or the Tooth Fairy?

9. What food is your nemesis? 

10. Which army would you choose to defend your home? Ninjas, or Cowboys? 

11. What is your favorite or most embarrassing nick name? 

Okay friendlies, now I want you to pick one question, either one I answered or asked, and tell us something awesome sauce about you!

A-Z in a WRAP

...though I'm not sure if it's gift wrap or involves a beat and vocal percussion. If I still had my recording studio, I might treat you to both. *wicked grin*

Yes, I am, and proud of surviving. I've been watching the challenge for the last three years and thinking about joining. Alas, life is insane-i-mous--which is why it's taken me this long to work up the courage. I spent all of March getting ready for it, and probably 4 hours or more a day during April reading and commenting. BUT, it was ALL worth it.

So, things I loved:

1. Meeting all the new peoples. (Hello, peoples!)
2. Hanging out with all my regular AWESOME blog buddies. (Hello, peoples!)
3. Reading a few serial stories.
4. Learning so many amazing (and bizarre) bits of information.
5. Handing out cyber cheese. (Eek! Don't call the authorities!)
6. Getting into a daily habit of blogging.
7. Laughing my head off with some of you. (No worries, the scientists locked in my basement have firmly reattached it and assured me there will be no strange side affects except a slight squeak when I look to the right.)

Things to do next year: (*gulp* Yeah, I'm sold.)

1. Signature, signature, signature.
2. Only comment on blogs that are still carrying out the challenge. (Here's a pat on the back for those who started with good intentions, but no cheese this time.)
3. Find more opportunities to give back and support other FAN-TAB-U-LOUS writers. (You know who you are.)

Friendlies, this one goes out to all of us:



SO, which was your favorite blog/blog post during the A-Z challenge? (Or recent favorite blog post period.)

Cheese Begins with "G"

What? You don't believe me? Well YOU'RE wrong.

Image courtesy of Fiorre

After a whole week off from the blog-o-sphere (almost), I'm back! AND I'm starting up a new set of memes: Motivational Mondays--come get your weekly dose of awesome, and Fun Fridays--because everyone needs cheese. Occasionally I might throw in a Wednesday for my writing friends/book reviews that are amazing fruit and deserve a bright, shiny spotlight.

And now on to business...

The other day I took a look through my facebook friends. I sat there, one happy memory after another bursting over me as I viewed face after face. I can't even remember how I became friends with some of them, but I love them all. My heart was filled with gratitude. =)

For those of you who were with me through the A-Z challenge (*waves*), you get that cheese is imperative to happiness, right? And that was my theme for the bloghop--How to Find Happiness from A-Z. (Check it out if you haven't. It was awesome.)

G is for Gratitude, and I issued a gratitude challenge to record 5 things a day you're grateful for, for 1 month. Did you try it? I did!

There's my list. =)

It seems I'm most grateful for family/relationships, technology, and cheese. (Surprise, surprise.)

What is it you found/find yourself most grateful for? And what are you grateful for today? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: Z

Zeee END! 

After this month of awesome I'm going to Zzzz land. What will you be doing?

Essentially, I'll be catching up on sleep, eating at a table instead of computer, and adding to my WIP (work in progress). Between beta reading, editing, and pre-publishing excitement, I'll be here once to twice a week--and I hope to find you here.

So what does that have to do with happiness?

All good things must come to an end. The rest, or Zzzz's, that result from a job well done are a part of the process. We have to take the time to sit back, rest, and appreciate what we've accomplished. This last month I've made so many new blogging friends, rubbed shoulders with old ones, and experienced so many laughs, smiles and memories. Thank you everyone who participated, and all my wonderful new friends and followers. YOU ARE AWESOMESAUCE!!!

If you missed any of the awesome, here's your shortlist to get up to speed.

How to Find Happiness through:

A: Attitude

B: Belief

C: Communication

D: Determination

E: Education

F: Friends

G: Gratitude

H: Humor

I: Integrity

J: Jumping

K: Kindness

L: Listening

M: Music

N: Novels

O: Organization

P: Perspective

Q: Quality Time

R: Respect

S: Smile

T: Trust

U: Unique

V: Values

W: Work

X: X Marks the Spot

Y: You

Z: Zzz and Enjoy

I'll see you back here May 6th to close out the Gratitude challenge. What? You missed that one? Check it out with letter G. 

Here's a huge wedge of cheese to all you A-Zers who made it to the end. You are awesomesauce! Will you continue posting every day? Why/why not?

How to Find Happiness A-Z: Y

By C. Clark via wikimedia commons

One of my favorite quotes comes from Marianne Williamson:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. ... We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? ... Your playing small does not serve the world ... as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

YOU.

You are awesome. We've chatted about this is past posts, but my point here is that you are powerful. You make your own reality--or that was my mantra throughout high school. Sure, things may happen that stand in your way, but you have the power to overcome all odds. More importantly, only you can change what isn't working in your life--whether that be by merely amending your attitude, or stepping up and making a plan to become your ideal self.

Image courtesy of Davebold370

When I was 14, I realized there were a number of things I didn't like about me. More importantly, I had a vision of who I wanted to become one day. With that serious goal in mind, I made a list of attributes I needed to develop, and one by one, worked to integrate them. I spent months focusing on just one aspect or habit until it was solid, and then I moved on down the list. Journaling was one of those. Speaking kindly to my siblings was another. Learning how to raise and teach children also made the list. When I look back on my teen years, I am immensely grateful for adult friends and leaders who set an amazing example and encouraged me to become my best self.

We, each of us, have figurative "elephants" to eat. Life may be so overwhelming we don't know where to start or even feel powerless and drowning in the implications of our reality. My advise to you is to pick one thing--just one--whether it be exercising, learning to smile more, reading for fun, organizing, etc, and focus. Use that divinely given power, afford yourself time and sufficient forgiveness for failure, and go forward. Set a goal. Write it on a calendar. Check in with yourself daily and see how you're doing. You'll be amazed at how truly powerful you are.  

What are your goals for this year?

How to Find Happiness A-Z: X

Image courtesy of Nemo

Yes, X marks the spot.

Happiness doesn't just happen. Well, okay, sometimes it does. The hormones align, there's sunshine, and we break through the mental clouds to find a moment of bliss. (Like taste-testing new cheeses. Mmm.) We'll call this "pleasure".

Real happiness is a lasting sense of well being, a constant and underlying sense that all is good--or that which we can control is good. It's a satisfaction with not only ourselves, but the direction we're taking in life and our accomplishments.

Some people make the mistake of blindly fumbling through life. They take what they're given and grumble about how things stink. They blame the government, their parents, their kids, the world for everything that's wrong, never stopping to consider how they can change things--if they open their eyes and aim for something better.

I grew up in a goal driven home. My father was a doctor, taxidermist, eagle scout, spelunker, pianist, photographer, scuba diver, distance runner, scout master, teacher, hypnotist, actor, basketball player and high adventure specialist. He spoke a couple languages, was a do-it-yourself-er, and raised 8 kids, one of whom was special needs. I learned a healthy sense of ambition just from watching him. He loved challenges. His entire life was about setting goals and then steadily progressing toward them. He was always on the go, always working toward a new accomplishment, and 90% of the time, smiling. (The other ten he was biting his tongue while examining the newest kid-induced hole in the wall, or shouting "you turkey!" at the slowpokes impeding his lead-footed-ness on the road.)

Happiness is a process. It's a journey, but there is no journey without a destination or "X". So what destination are you aimed toward? 

How to find Happiness A-Z: W

Image courtesy of www.localvox.com

W is for all the work.

Looking back over the years, I often wonder when was I the happiest. Do you ever pause and ponder that? In my "E" post I talked about education, and how the times I've been learning are the times I'm happiest. That's because I'm working toward a goal.

I've never appreciated my music talents as much as I should. They come easily. But writing? Writing has always been a challenge. I have an abstract brain. What I mean is, I get modern art. Poetry is a cinch. Artsy-fartsy mumbo-jumbo clicks.

Image courtesy of thisisbossi

Suffice it to say, I've had to work hard at writing to make sure all that abstractness fades away. I've dedicated years to this pursuit, feeling I lacked the natural talent many of my peers were blessed with. The other day I read this in How to Write  Damn Good Novel by James N Fray:

"Most of these folks with so much raw talent will not make it as a novelist. Why? Because they lack what's truly necessary: self-discipline, dogged determination, and stick-to-tiveness."

This is my golden prize. This is the next big mountain I've been climbing, and some day I'm going to look back and see the effort has paid off. Regardless, my joy doesn't come from the view at the end, it's a part of every step, every new concept mastered, every page completed, and every head-pounding frustration along the way.

What are you working toward? And do you find joy in your labor?

How to Find Happiness A-Z: U

In the car today, a strange thought hit me: no one can 100% identify with another person's childhood experiences. No matter how similar our lives may be, you have not walked in my shoes, and I have not walked in yours. That makes you...

...completely UNIQUE!

Understanding how unique you are should instill a sense of how incredibly special you are--and I'm not talking in a derogatory way here. What makes you you is completely impossible to duplicate. Do you know how amazing that makes you?

No, seriously. I want  you to think about it. You have a unique finger print. No one in the entirety of existence has the same skin pattern. It's not something you have to strive for. You just are. --But you're so much more complicated than a fingerprint. Think of all the life experiences you've had, the successes, the failures, the losses, the growth...

Picture courtesy of Juliancolton2

It's the parable of the snowflake. No two are alike. As they tumble through the air aimed for the ground, unique winds, temperatures and humidity help to shape them, but they might also latch onto a fellow floater for a time. They might break away from a larger grouping. They might reach out to feel the fullness of the world around them, or huddle in close and pummel faster. Some crack or lose pieces on way down, but they are no less fascinating. Each break tells a story, and each snowflake is beautiful.

You don't have any reason to bow down to others. What's shaped you is different than what's shaped them--different, not better or worse. Someone else being subjected to your life experiences might completely crumble. Just like the character in a story, you are a product not just of your circumstances, but of the decisions you've made along the way, and no one else would have made exactly the same choices.

How awesome are you?

How to Find Happiness A-Z: T

We've all played it, right?

You know that feeling of free fall, as your gut clenches, your insides quiver, and your nerves scream, "What are you doing, you idiot!?"

Trust.

Who would you trust to catch you? Your best friend? Your neighbor? A parent? A spouse?

These are the people in your inner circle. But would you trust a stranger to catch you?

Some of us have a relationship with deity. Some of us trust in a higher power, because as much as our friends, neighbors and even family love us, they are imperfect and will inevitably fail or be unable to catch us at some point. There's only one source of constancy, and true happiness comes knowing there's someone out there who loves and watches over us--someone who's ready to help--often even before we're humble enough to ask for it. I suppose the point is, in order to be rescued, we must have a relationship of trust with that source of power and love. We have to believe we will be caught, and accordingly, be willing to fall.

Picture courtesy of Ali

My husband and I have done some pretty crazy things in this life: parted ways for 2 years while madly in love (for a service mission), started a family young (yes, intentionally *gasp*), decided to home school (*pointing* I see those bobbing heads!), wrote a musical... But by far, the craziest thing we've ever done was move to New York City.

In part, it was because of the musical. In part, it was what we felt we needed to do. So, seven months pregnant with #3, we packed up a car and my hubby drove cross country while I searched online job listings. Insane? Yup.

After staying with his grandparents in New Jersey for two weeks (the exact amount of time allowed by their housing community), my husband miraculously found a job in NYC. It was in an industry he'd been inspired to study for the last 3 years, despite the unfavorable circumstances around his studies. Not only that, the expected job searching window was a minimum of 3 months in the city, and the number of openings for that specialty? They were very limited. --And really, after having lived there, I'm in awe at how the timetable played out. By all logic, it shouldn't have. He had only one day to go house searching before starting his new job, and again, a search that typically takes weeks, came together in a single day. His brother decided at the same time he was going to return to school at Columbia University, and we were suddenly able to share a moving truck. We ended up having the exact amount of money needed to move, while our funds should not have been sufficient.

Coincidence? Perhaps. But I've only told you half the story. There's no doubt in my mind a greater force was out there, paving our path and making the impossible possible. I trust that power, because of the experiences I've had, because it's the ultimate source of peace, because I'd be lost without it.

Who do you trust? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: S

(Previously published as a guest post, but so darn awesome I had to share it again...)

What do you think of when you hear the word, “cheese”? Yummy milk products? Picture taking? General silliness?

For me, cheese = smile = happiness.

We moved to NYC when my daughter was only a year old. She had absolutely no fear of people. She’d walk up to any stranger in the subway and take their hand—while I suffered heart palpitations. Even though it put me on edge, I had to appreciate that my child faced the world with such boldness, that she saw goodness in everyone. She had such a sincere love for people that she couldn’t help but spread it.

And the miracle? People responded. Hardened New Yorkers softened when she looked at them with those big eyes and that sweet smile. They constantly commented on how adorable she was, and everywhere we went, a trail of smiles followed.

Image courtesy of Nemo via Pixabay

It is a scientific truth that smiles pass from person to person, just like yawns. They’re contagious. In one experiment I watched, a well-timed smile even prompted the recipients to stop and help someone who’d dropped some books. Can you imagine that? A smile inciting the inherent goodness in people?

According to Gary L. Wenk, a Ph.D. and Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, a smile (fake or real), pulls on the thin bones in the face and causes increased blood flow through the frontal lobes of the brain. When that happens, the body releases an increase of dopamine—which is a naturally occurring “happy drug.”

Believe it or not, you are dosing yourself with happiness every time you smile—and inspiring others to do the same. Maybe that’s the real secret behind children being so much happier than adults. They smile more.

Seems like my daughter had life all figured out at the age of one. Guess I should try to be more like her, eh? Would you like to try the experiment with me? Let’s see if we can’t make the world a better place, one “cheese” at a time.

How to Find Happiness A-Z: R

Do you ever feel like some of the values you grew up with are slipping away? Society has a short memory, but I recall a day when the way you acted in public was determined by...

Respect!

I grew up addressing adults as Mr, Mrs, Ms, etc. It planted a proper understanding in me about the wisdom of those who'd lived much longer than myself. To this day I value the words of those who've spent decades longer than me in this life, and it cuts me to the core when others deride or look down on their elders.

I work with and teach a large group of kids from ages 18 months to 12 years old, and all of them come from very good, very caring homes. Still, I'm bewildered by their attitude toward adults. The formality and concept of honoring your elders doesn't seem to be part of their psyche. Brr? What does that say for these kids? Apparently they haven't been taught a very important principle.

And on a deeper level, if they don't respect others, can we hope they'll respect themselves? --To stay away from peer pressure, to trust in their own values, to establish who they are instead of folding to the winds of society? And how can we expect them, or ourselves to find happiness if the world buckles to whatever the media says we should be or think?

You knew this one was coming. ;)

Okay, rant over. Who's up for some cheese?

How to Find Happiness A-Z: Q

Picture courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

What time of the day do you most look forward to?

I love that hour before the kids wake, when I can think without interruption. I love bedtime, when I get to sit with each "little" and sing them a lullaby. I love the evening, vegging with my hubby and watching a show or chatting about our day. Those are the moments I most look forward to.

Quality time.

We've talked about how happiness stems from the relationships we develop--those with ourselves, families and friends. I've heard it said that love is actually spelled T-I-M-E. Think about it. What do you spend your hours doing--when you have no other obligations? What do you really love? And does it bring you happiness?

How to Find Happiness A-Z: O

Are you the creative type who places your shoes where your hat should go, and your car keys where your cup usually sits?

I've always had a special way of arranging things. When I was a teen Mom used to come into my room, see my papers piled all over the floor, and start throwing things away. Eek! Those were my precious stories, notes, and idea prompt images! For years, I couldn't understand WHY she would do that. Didn't she get she was destroying my sense of order?

Now, many years later and as a mom, I get it.

Organization.

Picture courtesy of Carnivore Locavore

We can function with chaos in our home (empty milk jugs piled to go out for recycling, markers and pens scattered across the school table, scraps of paper from recent project littered across the floor, laundry piled in baskets in the corner), but I find my sense of cool goes "poof". I snap at the kids more. I freak out about the little things. I feel like a failure and start panicking about how behind I am.

Conversely, when my house is spotless, I'm an angel, the kids love each other, and we all breathe easy.

Have you had similar experiences? How do you establish order in your house?  

How to Find Happiness A-Z: N

What do you do for fun?

While home schooling 3 kids, I live a very confined existence. We get out, but not as much as I'd like, so I look to another medium to "get out":

Novels.

Picture courtesy of rocksee

Who else loves sinking into an imaginary world and disappearing from reality? *waving hand in the air* Nothing better. When I was a kid, I was a total book worm and the library was my dojo. In anticipation of summer, I'd buy a stack of books at least 8 to 12 deep, and as soon as I'd consumed the stack, we'd start hitting the library. The NYC library system was a dream come true, and Florida almost killed me until we moved into Orange County with access to the Orlando Library.

My point is, we have to occasionally unplug and regenerate if we want to be successful, balanced, and happy. This great article in the New York Times talks about how taking regular breaks actually improves productivity, creativity, and relieves stress.

I don't know about you, but the times I'm the least happy are when I'm so bogged down by task after task, I don't feel like I can take a spare breath. So then, to find true happiness, we need to establish "novel" time, or hobby/relaxation time. We can't demand too much of ourselves ALL THE TIME.

What is it you do to escape? To get away? To relax? Are you a book worm, and if so what genre takes you far, far away? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: M

Is anyone else out there super picky about what they listen to?

I'm a Music snob. No, I don't mean I turn my nose up at different types of music, but it only takes hearing something once for it to be permanently embedded in my brain, like it or not. There are perks to this hyper-sensitivity--such as being able to compose/harmonize/alter melodies on the fly. It also means I can only take so much external sound before going 100% bonkers.

The Johnsons could only afford to teach one child piano. My great grandmother learned how to play from listening to her brother's lessons. She'd sit down after he'd finished, and practice everything he'd just learned--driving him insane. I get my love of music from her. She said, "Music is poetry of the soul." Wise woman, that. I'll add, "Music is the purest form of expression."

In movies, music is used or omitted to create the feel of the scene. My husband and I once owned an audio/visual company, and we were once asked to help with a project made by several young men. Right at the heart of their film, they'd recorded an intense battle scene. You'd expect us to use the most exciting, rage-inducing soundtrack for the scene, but no. My hubby selected a slow, melodramatic piece. The result was amazing. Instead of being a crazy war, the scene became a heart-rending, soul-tweaking fight for survival. Amazing.

Just like that underscore changed the scene's mood, we have the power to change our mood in any scene of our lives. All we have to do is load the right track. If you're longing for more calm in your life, find the music that soothes your soul and plug it in. If you're feeling depressed, find something with some energy. If you're overwhelmed, seek something that communicates simplicity.

I'm over a large children's organization in church, and this is one of the songs we sing regularly:

Is anyone else out there an hyper-sensitive to sound? What is your favorite type of music? Are there any songs you use as a pick-me-up? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: L

Listen.

What do you hear? I hear a little boy chanting, the scrape of a chair, the hum of a refrigerator, the click of a microwave...

The world around us is filled with confusion and noise. It's hard to tune out the sounds, voices, and electronic devices long enough to even ponder what's going on inside ourselves; but for true happiness, this is an essential element.

Picture courtesy of aresauburn

One of the things that brought me the most happiness as a teen was going out to the yard, sitting on my thinking rock, and watching a sunset or starry night sky. Just listening to and observing nature calmed my heart and gave me the perspective to deal with the crazy crazy of each school day, relationship issues, and the stresses of finding my place. Listening, or not listening to all the other insistent voices out there helped me find my center.

True happiness also stems out of the relationships we build. Do you have a friend who loves to call you, but all they ever talk about is themselves? How deep is that friendship? Do you eventually tire of that person? My advice is, don't be that person. Listening, truly listening to others requires a certain amount of investment. It means we have to care about the person in order to care about what is said. It means we have to be willing to tune out all the other noises and focus. Now I admit, when my six year old tells me the exact same thing for the fiftieth time, it's difficult to want to pay attention, but the most profound things come out of that kid's mouth. Caring about others adds a deeper dimension to ourselves. Deeper satisfaction comes from seeking others' happiness before our own. That's why parenthood is such a noble/maturing/humbling/satisfying thing.

My husband's first boss in NYC was an "art-EE-st"! The guy carried so much ego you couldn't come within twenty feet of him without being knocked off your feet. He also couldn't keep employees to save his life. Wonder why. *shaking head* He was so concerned about being right and perfection that he never paused to consider people had "feelings". Everyone quit within a week, and he blamed it on them--thinking they were all just lemons. (My hubby made it 6 months, by the way--poor guy.)

I call that an extreme case of self-preoccupation.

My neighbor in NYC was the reverse. She immediately came over to meet us when we moved in. She sincerely asked about our lives every time we saw each other, and I knew I could call on her if needed--which, it was. As my husband and I climbed into the car to go to the hospital, me eight months pregnant and extremely sick, we had no idea what we'd do with our two young children. She came running down her steps and invited the kids to stay with her family as long as we needed. She was "listening", or paying attention, and to this day my heart swells with love and gratitude when I think of her. Talk about a true friend.

Self reflection: So which are you more like? The ego-driven genius, or the invested neighbor? (Please do not answer these questions in the comments.)

Do you have a "thinking rock", or quiet place to ponder? And what is it that really draws you to people? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: J

The day my parents came home with a trampoline...

...everyone took a turn, even Mom and Dad--which I thought was ridiculous. They were grown-ups after all. Smiles and excited screaming filled the yard.

JUMP!

You know that free-fall sensation when the ground rushes up, your stomach clenches, and adrenaline tenses every muscle. Life is comprised of those moments of decision, those turning points that make you either want to puke, or scream from pure exhilaration. But if we aren't willing to jump, how will we ever know what waits? Will we hit the ground and spring back up, or will we be a pancake?

I tend to be trigger shy. Wasn't always that way. In fact, this development is something that's come about thanks to several pancake experiences. Were they true pancakes? I don't know, but my inflation machine is starting to run out of batteries. (Thus the scientists locked in my Floridian basement are working on a never-ending power supply.) Still, the older I get, the more I realize this life only happens once. So what if we fail? Did we learn something? (Perhaps how NOT to fail next time?)

Happiness results from overcoming the odds.

Walt Disney took CRAZY risk when he put out Snow White. He mortgaged everything--his home, his company, everything. He and his wife held their breath as their world threatened to collapse in and crush them. But the opposite happened. The thriving business that is now Disney bloomed out of that single terror-inducing risk. Can you imagine the world without Disney?

And finally, a quick footnote, I would not remember any of the aforementioned experiences if I'd not had the foresight to record them in a JOURNAL. Yup. That's right. A second "J" word! (Watch out--they'll be popping up all over the place today.)

Have you overcome your odds? What pancake experiences have you survived? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: I

This above all: to thine own self be true, 

And it must follow, as the night the day, 

Thou canst not then be false to any man.

                                                       Hamlet Act 1 scene 3    

Ah, the infamous quote we hear time and time again. As a writer, this is some of the prime advice you receive--not to imitate anyone else, but to write until you've developed your own voice. I call this a form of Integrity.

According to dictionary.com, integrity is:

1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. 
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship's hull.

Some people can get away with lie upon lie, even to themselves--but then, what are they left with? 

"I'm a size six." *RIP* "Uh, they must have not sewn that seam very well." 

That's right, exposure. =)

Society in general seems to be suffering from a lack of integrity--people who embezzle from work, cheating spouses, employees who give less than their best for a paid day of work, people who cheat on tests (let's pray they don't become doctors!), even those who lie under oath or omit the truth to promote their own agenda. 

How do we heal this rampant evil and begin to mend society? One person at a time. Ourselves. One family at a time. Our families. One relationship of trust at a time--the ones we treasure most, the ones that will bring us the greatest happiness. 

Trust=freedom. Freedom brings happiness.

To thine own self be true, eh? And while we're speaking about honesty, what is the stupidest lie you've ever told or heard? (I love the ones that come from little kids!) 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: H

Photo courtesy of Stuck in Alabama2012 via flickr

Life is hilarious.

"I've always wanted to try my hand at chicken farming," says Bob.

"Really?" his farmer friend asks. "Tell you what, I'll give you 50 chickens to start you out." 

A month later Bob reports sadly, "They're all dead."

Attributing this to bad luck, the farmer decides to give Bob another 50 chickens. A month later Bob admits the chickens are all dead, again.

"You must be having some terrible luck," the farmer says. "Tell you what, I'll give you 50 more chickens." --Because no one could fail completely three times in a row. But at the end of the month, the chickens are dead. The farmer scratches his head. "What are you doing wrong?"

Bob shrugs. "I'm either planting them too deep or close together."

H is for Humor. 

I'm sorry, there are just way too many stupid or funny things that happen in life. I believe one major key to happiness is being able to laugh--at ourselves, at situations, at things that are just plain funny--and even some things that may not be so funny. What does laughing do?

• Lowers blood pressure
• Increases blood flow and oxygen in the blood
• Exercises various muscles (diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, face, leg and back)
• Decreases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline
• Quickens immune response cells (ones that fight against tumors)
• Aids in learning--according to a study at John Hopkins University Medical School
• Engages your whole brain, heightening creativity

(source)

So eat some cheese and chuckle a little too loudly. --It's for your health.

And believe it or not, it's why I married my husband.

And now for fun... Do you have a favorite blonde or knock-knock joke? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: G

Image courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net

Which is it? Half full or half empty?

In my first post on happiness, we talked about attitude. Well, this is part two.

The Attitude of Gratitude.

One of my favorite books as a kid was It's Not Easy Being a Bunny. Even if I didn't love rabbits (which I did), I would have loved this story. PJ Funny Bunny is so fed up with his life--his hundreds of siblings and having to eat cooked carrots every night--that he decides to hit the road and find a better family.

He joins a family of bears, moose, possums, birds, beavers, and finally skunks before realizing none of them are right for him. At the end of the story he gratefully runs back to his family, embracing all their eccentricities and foibles.

I think we're often like PJ, too close to the wallpaper to see the amazing pattern. If we can step back to appreciate the unique beauty that defines our lives, we'll find the insight to appreciate even the difficult times. In an effort to find the good during rough patches, I often rely on my journal. At the end of each day, I take ten minutes, think about everything that happened, and find a few things to be truly grateful for. As with all good habits, gratitude takes training. It really is an attitude, and practice makes perfect.

AND, a little known secret, the grateful ones are the ones who receive the most.

At least in my family, the kid who's the most grateful is the one who tends to get spoiled the most. Writers who express their thanks for a follow or book purchase are viewed in a brighter light. Friends who thank me for my time are the ones I'm inclined to invest the most time in. Think about it.

Gratitude really is one of the key proponents to finding happiness, so are you brave enough to take the challenge? Will you join me for the next month, recording 5 things you're grateful for each day? Meet me back here on May 6th to chat about our discoveries! *rubbing hands in anticipation*

And in the meantime, go eat some cheese, eh?