(But it does make things better. Here, have some while we chat.)
What is this magical word that makes everything awesome?
Yup. That's the one.
“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” -- Thomas S. Monson
My favorite t-shirt reads:
True principle--whether in our personal lives, the countries we live in, the homes we have established. This is why I keep a journal--trying to reinforce memories so I won't make the same mistakes again and again.
At the same time, keeping good memories close--the ones that build us up, that encourage us, that fill our hearts with joy, this is the KEY to happiness. On top of a journal, I like to keep a gratitude journal. Every day I list a minimum of 5 things I'm grateful for. This practice ensures I review the day for the best parts and focus on the things that bring me peace, happiness, even pain followed by resolution.
So is this concept magic? Remembering? Yup. Totally. 100%.
Let's reinforce AWESOME memories, holding onto the ones that shape us, and aiming to create a history we can be proud of.
September 3 question: What are your thoughts on using AI, such as GPChat, Raptor, and others with your writing? Would you use it for research, storybible, or creating outlines\beats?
Here's where I admit I use it. Not for outlining. Not for story bible. I like AI for inspirational image generation, research assistance, and when my brain occasionally struggles with rephrasing a sentence, I really LOVE getting a few suggestions. (Normally, I'd go to a critique partner for this.)
What about you? Do you use AI regularly? What for? And how do you keep your memories?
When my husband and I were first married, he informed me that when buying things, he was a quality vs quantity type person. I scratched my head and responded, "As long as it's cheap." (In true poor college student fashion.)
Over the years, I've come to value his initial stand. Value for me means something holds its worth over time and through whatever difficulty or abuse may come. If it's a great waffle iron, it can take a licking and keep on producing crispy deliciousness. If it's a written work, it can stand the test of years and criticism (even the negative kind) and still remain a shining beacon of thought.
More importantly, I think that applies to how people live. The values we hold will prove themselves over time to be faulty, or pillars of truth. If you look at how people are living--their level of happiness, their mental state, their relationships--you can assess how true their value system is. Apply the scientific method by observing the experiments that are already in progress. What they/we believe is either a true principal, or it's not. So then the challenge becomes to find the examples of success in the areas that matter most and emulate their way of living.
Speaking of change... This year I'll be in a couple AMAZING anthologies and I wanted to introduce the first one:
Awesome, right?
Lastly, I'm giving away books!!!! Check it out and enter to win.
Now how about ANOTHER giveaway? Last week Anna Simpson shared with us WHITE LIGHT, along with two truths and a lie. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing for the chance to win signed bookmarks and an awesome charm bracelet. The Game:
1. I have stood exactly where I was born and it is in the middle of the produce section of our local grocery store. 2. I was given a tarot deck from a complete stranger. 3. I overcame my fear of spiders when my son mimicked my jumping around like a lunatic when he was two years old.
The lie: #3. Alas, Anna has never overcome her fear of spiders. Beware the eight-leggers!
Leon Garber has his reasons for ridding the world of abusive people, call it justifiable homicide. Opportunity comes knocking from Like-Minded Individuals, Inc., a global company fulfilling the needs of clients: new identities, security, and even lists of potential “projects.” But let’s not call it “serial killing” (such a nasty term). For Leon, it’s a dream come true. However, LMI’s put a target on Leon’s back, with no indication of why. LMI, the police, sanctioned hit men, and a vicious psychopath are after Leon. He collides with other Like-Minded Individuals: The Good Samaritan Killer, The Mad Doctor, Donnie and Marie (don’t ask). Heads are chopped, dropped, and swapped as Leon fights for his life. But nothing will keep him from finishing his current project. Not even the chance to fall in love. Sometimes a killer business idea is just that. Killer.
Stuart R. West is a lifelong resident of Kansas, which he considers both a curse and a blessing. It's a curse because...well, it's Kansas. But it's great because…well, it’s Kansas. Lots of cool, strange and creepy things happen in the Midwest, and Stuart takes advantage of them in his work. Call it “Kansas Noir”. Stuart writes thrillers tinged with horror and horror tinged with humor, both for adult and young adult audiences. Secret Society is the second of his novels to be published by Books We Love Ltd. He's also the author of the acclaimed Tex, the Witch Boy series published by MuseItUp Publishing. His first novel from Samhain Publishing, Demon with a Comb-Over, comes out March 1st. He’s married to a professor of pharmacy and has a 22 year old daughter who’s still deciding what to do with her life. You might find him enjoying Jalapeno Havarti cheese (A little fire with your cheese, what could be nicer?) while watching Hitchcock films with his wife.
Stuart gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out the lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win an eBook of SECRET SOCIETY!(Open Internationally.) You have until Tuesday, January 26 at 1 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answers on January 27.
TRUTH OR LIE
1. I had over 50,000 movies on videotape in my basement. Due to mold and obsolete equipment, my wife and I recently rented a huge dumpster just to haul the tapes away. 2. Fifteen years ago I was in an alternative/rock/country-funk/performance art/comedy band. I wore pajamas and slippers for every show. My character was a sort of demented hillbilly who toted around a saxophone, but rarely played it. 3. I have webbed toes. But it's a bonus, because in high school gym, I was a championship swimmer. Shoes are hard to fit, though. I have to have them special ordered from WebsRUs.
So sleuths, which is the lie? What's something you value? Do you read anthologies? Do you like thrillers? Have you met Stuart before?
After spending 2 weeks away from home, I've returned--with dread in my gut. Worries plagued me all through the last night of our vacation--whether I'll admit it or not. I suddenly started to think about this ridiculous schedule I'd been keeping before leaving: early morning walking, a couple hours of cleaning, an hour or two of blogging, a couple hours teaching, a couple hours writing, then cooking, more cleaning, some calling work, a little critiquing, and finally the bed routine. Should it be any wonder I've been dreading it?
Then as I read an article about Islanders in the South Pacific, it hit me. Their priorities are very different from your average American. They LIVE A SLOWER PACE.
So why can't I?
My brain automatically sputtered back, "Well, because it's expected that I run until I burn myself out, and then pick myself up and keep going." LOL. Expected by whom? Silly me.
I had a mantra throughout high school: You make your own reality. Really, it's true. You are the one who defines what your life will be, what you'll tolerate, how far you'll let it go before working to change it. Now that doesn't mean things will change over night, but if it's a priority, you have the power to alter your current existence. Rather than complaining, our energy can be better spent, eh?
That said, will I be any less insane? No, but it will be a slightly altered insanity that fits more with my family and circumstances of life. It might even be a SLOWER PACE OF LIFE. *gasp* I think the older I get, the slower I move, and thus, it's wise to willingly adapt my pace accordingly. (That or I'm just getting bogged down with the needs of a middle-stage family.)
Regardless, what is it you find yourself complaining about lately? Do you know of someone who has dramatically altered their own world? (I think this might be why I write fiction--to create that alteration regularly.) Priority check, what is it you wish you were doing less/more?
P.S. I'll post one or two of our adventure stories in the next couple weeks. *rubbing hands* Boy, have I got some good ones!
How do you feel about the person in the grocery line behind you? How about the lawn guy across the street? The kid staring at you from the bus stop?
How do you view these people?
A couple year ago our family was invited to attend a party. Last minute we discovered there would be swimming. (I mean, it's Florida. Duh!) My husband and I weren't interested in flaunting our flub, so we let the kids bring their suits and supervised from the sidelines. We had a great time talking with other parents, until our friend dove, fully dressed, into the pool. My daughter had slipped over the brink of shallow to deep, and was bobbing in water over her head. None of the kids around her who could touch the bottom bothered to reach out an arm and pull her back, but our friend saw the need and leaped in without a second thought. Afterward she climbed out of the pool, dripping, and examined the destroyed smart phone in her pocket.
I often think about that moment, what would have happened if our friend hadn't been willing to dive without concern for herself or property. See, the thing is, she would have done that for anyone. No, I'm not talking about saving a life per say, but seeing a need and jumping in. I watched her over a course of years willingly dive, even when she was in over her own head, to come to someone else's aid.
The other day at the grocery store, I got caught in a torrential downpour. I hoped the storm would pass before I finished. Alas. While shopping, I'd been watching a young woman with two little kids. She had a kind smile and more patience than I sometimes can muster as she worked to keep them in line. I empathized with the wrestling match, but when I stood at the store exit watching the rain and she returned with a wide umbrella, offering to walk me to my car, my jaw almost hit the curb. Surely she was worn out from her store visit, yet there she stood.
What was so unique about these two women? They saw beyond themselves. Most days I wish I could be like that. Some days I even realize I can--but it means I have to look.
What do you see when you look at others?
And quickly, speaking of others, I'm participating in a Followers Blog Hop today, hosted by Mel Chelsey. Check it out and join in, eh?
In the car today, a strange thought hit me: no one can 100% identify with another person's childhood experiences. No matter how similar our lives may be, you have not walked in my shoes, and I have not walked in yours. That makes you...
...completely UNIQUE!
Understanding how unique you are should instill a sense of how incredibly special you are--and I'm not talking in a derogatory way here. What makes you you is completely impossible to duplicate. Do you know how amazing that makes you?
No, seriously. I want you to think about it. You have a unique finger print. No one in the entirety of existence has the same skin pattern. It's not something you have to strive for. You just are. --But you're so much more complicated than a fingerprint. Think of all the life experiences you've had, the successes, the failures, the losses, the growth...
It's the parable of the snowflake. No two are alike. As they tumble through the air aimed for the ground, unique winds, temperatures and humidity help to shape them, but they might also latch onto a fellow floater for a time. They might break away from a larger grouping. They might reach out to feel the fullness of the world around them, or huddle in close and pummel faster. Some crack or lose pieces on way down, but they are no less fascinating. Each break tells a story, and each snowflake is beautiful.
You don't have any reason to bow down to others. What's shaped you is different than what's shaped them--different, not better or worse. Someone else being subjected to your life experiences might completely crumble. Just like the character in a story, you are a product not just of your circumstances, but of the decisions you've made along the way, and no one else would have made exactly the same choices.
You know that feeling of free fall, as your gut clenches, your insides quiver, and your nerves scream, "What are you doing, you idiot!?"
Trust.
Who would you trust to catch you? Your best friend? Your neighbor? A parent? A spouse?
These are the people in your inner circle. But would you trust a stranger to catch you?
Some of us have a relationship with deity. Some of us trust in a higher power, because as much as our friends, neighbors and even family love us, they are imperfect and will inevitably fail or be unable to catch us at some point. There's only one source of constancy, and true happiness comes knowing there's someone out there who loves and watches over us--someone who's ready to help--often even before we're humble enough to ask for it. I suppose the point is, in order to be rescued, we must have a relationship of trust with that source of power and love. We have to believe we will be caught, and accordingly, be willing to fall.
My husband and I have done some pretty crazy things in this life: parted ways for 2 years while madly in love (for a service mission), started a family young (yes, intentionally *gasp*), decided to home school (*pointing* I see those bobbing heads!), wrote a musical... But by far, the craziest thing we've ever done was move to New York City.
In part, it was because of the musical. In part, it was what we felt we needed to do. So, seven months pregnant with #3, we packed up a car and my hubby drove cross country while I searched online job listings. Insane? Yup.
After staying with his grandparents in New Jersey for two weeks (the exact amount of time allowed by their housing community), my husband miraculously found a job in NYC. It was in an industry he'd been inspired to study for the last 3 years, despite the unfavorable circumstances around his studies. Not only that, the expected job searching window was a minimum of 3 months in the city, and the number of openings for that specialty? They were very limited. --And really, after having lived there, I'm in awe at how the timetable played out. By all logic, it shouldn't have. He had only one day to go house searching before starting his new job, and again, a search that typically takes weeks, came together in a single day. His brother decided at the same time he was going to return to school at Columbia University, and we were suddenly able to share a moving truck. We ended up having the exact amount of money needed to move, while our funds should not have been sufficient.
Coincidence? Perhaps. But I've only told you half the story. There's no doubt in my mind a greater force was out there, paving our path and making the impossible possible. I trust that power, because of the experiences I've had, because it's the ultimate source of peace, because I'd be lost without it.
(Previously published as a guest post, but so darn awesome I had to share it again...) What do you think of when you hear the word, “cheese”? Yummy milk products? Picture taking? General silliness?
For me, cheese = smile = happiness.
We moved to NYC when my daughter was only a year old. She had absolutely no fear of people. She’d walk up to any stranger in the subway and take their hand—while I suffered heart palpitations. Even though it put me on edge, I had to appreciate that my child faced the world with such boldness, that she saw goodness in everyone. She had such a sincere love for people that she couldn’t help but spread it.
And the miracle? People responded. Hardened New Yorkers softened when she looked at them with those big eyes and that sweet smile. They constantly commented on how adorable she was, and everywhere we went, a trail of smiles followed.
Image courtesy of Nemo via Pixabay
It is a scientific truth that smiles pass from person to person, just like yawns. They’re contagious. In one experiment I watched, a well-timed smile even prompted the recipients to stop and help someone who’d dropped some books. Can you imagine that? A smile inciting the inherent goodness in people?
According to Gary L. Wenk, a Ph.D. and Professor of Psychology and Neuroscience, a smile (fake or real), pulls on the thin bones in the face and causes increased blood flow through the frontal lobes of the brain. When that happens, the body releases an increase of dopamine—which is a naturally occurring “happy drug.”
Believe it or not, you are dosing yourself with happiness every time you smile—and inspiring others to do the same. Maybe that’s the real secret behind children being so much happier than adults. They smile more.
Seems like my daughter had life all figured out at the age of one. Guess I should try to be more like her, eh? Would you like to try the experiment with me? Let’s see if we can’t make the world a better place, one “cheese” at a time.
Do you ever feel like some of the values you grew up with are slipping away? Society has a short memory, but I recall a day when the way you acted in public was determined by...
Respect!
I grew up addressing adults as Mr, Mrs, Ms, etc. It planted a proper understanding in me about the wisdom of those who'd lived much longer than myself. To this day I value the words of those who've spent decades longer than me in this life, and it cuts me to the core when others deride or look down on their elders.
I work with and teach a large group of kids from ages 18 months to 12 years old, and all of them come from very good, very caring homes. Still, I'm bewildered by their attitude toward adults. The formality and concept of honoring your elders doesn't seem to be part of their psyche. Brr? What does that say for these kids? Apparently they haven't been taught a very important principle.
And on a deeper level, if they don't respect others, can we hope they'll respect themselves? --To stay away from peer pressure, to trust in their own values, to establish who they are instead of folding to the winds of society? And how can we expect them, or ourselves to find happiness if the world buckles to whatever the media says we should be or think?
I love that hour before the kids wake, when I can think without interruption. I love bedtime, when I get to sit with each "little" and sing them a lullaby. I love the evening, vegging with my hubby and watching a show or chatting about our day. Those are the moments I most look forward to.
Quality time.
We've talked about how happiness stems from the relationships we develop--those with ourselves, families and friends. I've heard it said that love is actually spelled T-I-M-E. Think about it. What do you spend your hours doing--when you have no other obligations? What do you really love? And does it bring you happiness?
I used to live in the foothills of the Rockies, at an altitude of 4,500 feet above sea level. The air was definitely thinner up there. For someone like me, with exercise-induced asthma, it made physical activity that much more challenging--but there was nothing better than a hike up the mountain. To stand on the ledge and look out over the valley... Wow. Talk about perspective. You could see clear out to the lake, and at night? You've never seen stars so bright! Below was a sea of glittering lights, and above, the world was alive with miraculous wonders.
Perspective.
Do you have a vision of who you want to become, or what you want your life to be like? True happiness comes from accomplishing something, being able to climb the proverbial mountain of life, take in the view, and marvel at what's been accomplished. --But it doesn't happen without planning, work and perseverance.
I've been writing my entire life. No, literally. Before I could use words, I created pictures to tell stories. When words were inadequate, I turned to music. All three mediums satiate my need to create, to share, to build the world about me. I submit that this is part of the human condition: the need to create.
So what is it you are creating? Memories? A legacy? Success? And do you make a conscious effort behind them? More importantly, when you hit the pinnacle of your life, what is it you hope to turn around and view?
For me it will be a beautiful family with strong values, friends, memories of service and love, jagged moments of growth and overcoming, a writing career, and significant quantities of cheese.
So how about it? What is most important to you--and what are you doing to make it happen today?
Are you the creative type who places your shoes where your hat should go, and your car keys where your cup usually sits?
I've always had a special way of arranging things. When I was a teen Mom used to come into my room, see my papers piled all over the floor, and start throwing things away. Eek! Those were my precious stories, notes, and idea prompt images! For years, I couldn't understand WHY she would do that. Didn't she get she was destroying my sense of order?
We can function with chaos in our home (empty milk jugs piled to go out for recycling, markers and pens scattered across the school table, scraps of paper from recent project littered across the floor, laundry piled in baskets in the corner), but I find my sense of cool goes "poof". I snap at the kids more. I freak out about the little things. I feel like a failure and start panicking about how behind I am.
Conversely, when my house is spotless, I'm an angel, the kids love each other, and we all breathe easy.
Have you had similar experiences? How do you establish order in your house?
Who else loves sinking into an imaginary world and disappearing from reality? *waving hand in the air* Nothing better. When I was a kid, I was a total book worm and the library was my dojo. In anticipation of summer, I'd buy a stack of books at least 8 to 12 deep, and as soon as I'd consumed the stack, we'd start hitting the library. The NYC library system was a dream come true, and Florida almost killed me until we moved into Orange County with access to the Orlando Library.
My point is, we have to occasionally unplug and regenerate if we want to be successful, balanced, and happy. This great article in the New York Times talks about how taking regular breaks actually improves productivity, creativity, and relieves stress.
I don't know about you, but the times I'm the least happy are when I'm so bogged down by task after task, I don't feel like I can take a spare breath. So then, to find true happiness, we need to establish "novel" time, or hobby/relaxation time. We can't demand too much of ourselves ALL THE TIME.
What is it you do to escape? To get away? To relax? Are you a book worm, and if so what genre takes you far, far away?
Is anyone else out there super picky about what they listen to?
I'm a Music snob. No, I don't mean I turn my nose up at different types of music, but it only takes hearing something once for it to be permanently embedded in my brain, like it or not. There are perks to this hyper-sensitivity--such as being able to compose/harmonize/alter melodies on the fly. It also means I can only take so much external sound before going 100% bonkers.
The Johnsons could only afford to teach one child piano. My great grandmother learned how to play from listening to her brother's lessons. She'd sit down after he'd finished, and practice everything he'd just learned--driving him insane. I get my love of music from her. She said, "Music is poetry of the soul." Wise woman, that. I'll add, "Music is the purest form of expression."
In movies, music is used or omitted to create the feel of the scene. My husband and I once owned an audio/visual company, and we were once asked to help with a project made by several young men. Right at the heart of their film, they'd recorded an intense battle scene. You'd expect us to use the most exciting, rage-inducing soundtrack for the scene, but no. My hubby selected a slow, melodramatic piece. The result was amazing. Instead of being a crazy war, the scene became a heart-rending, soul-tweaking fight for survival. Amazing.
Just like that underscore changed the scene's mood, we have the power to change our mood in any scene of our lives. All we have to do is load the right track. If you're longing for more calm in your life, find the music that soothes your soul and plug it in. If you're feeling depressed, find something with some energy. If you're overwhelmed, seek something that communicates simplicity.
I'm over a large children's organization in church, and this is one of the songs we sing regularly:
Is anyone else out there an hyper-sensitive to sound? What is your favorite type of music? Are there any songs you use as a pick-me-up?
What do you hear? I hear a little boy chanting, the scrape of a chair, the hum of a refrigerator, the click of a microwave...
The world around us is filled with confusion and noise. It's hard to tune out the sounds, voices, and electronic devices long enough to even ponder what's going on inside ourselves; but for true happiness, this is an essential element.
One of the things that brought me the most happiness as a teen was going out to the yard, sitting on my thinking rock, and watching a sunset or starry night sky. Just listening to and observing nature calmed my heart and gave me the perspective to deal with the crazy crazy of each school day, relationship issues, and the stresses of finding my place. Listening, or not listening to all the other insistent voices out there helped me find my center.
True happiness also stems out of the relationships we build. Do you have a friend who loves to call you, but all they ever talk about is themselves? How deep is that friendship? Do you eventually tire of that person? My advice is, don't be that person. Listening, truly listening to others requires a certain amount of investment. It means we have to care about the person in order to care about what is said. It means we have to be willing to tune out all the other noises and focus. Now I admit, when my six year old tells me the exact same thing for the fiftieth time, it's difficult to want to pay attention, but the most profound things come out of that kid's mouth. Caring about others adds a deeper dimension to ourselves. Deeper satisfaction comes from seeking others' happiness before our own. That's why parenthood is such a noble/maturing/humbling/satisfying thing.
My husband's first boss in NYC was an "art-EE-st"! The guy carried so much ego you couldn't come within twenty feet of him without being knocked off your feet. He also couldn't keep employees to save his life. Wonder why. *shaking head* He was so concerned about being right and perfection that he never paused to consider people had "feelings". Everyone quit within a week, and he blamed it on them--thinking they were all just lemons. (My hubby made it 6 months, by the way--poor guy.)
I call that an extreme case of self-preoccupation.
My neighbor in NYC was the reverse. She immediately came over to meet us when we moved in. She sincerely asked about our lives every time we saw each other, and I knew I could call on her if needed--which, it was. As my husband and I climbed into the car to go to the hospital, me eight months pregnant and extremely sick, we had no idea what we'd do with our two young children. She came running down her steps and invited the kids to stay with her family as long as we needed. She was "listening", or paying attention, and to this day my heart swells with love and gratitude when I think of her. Talk about a true friend.
Self reflection: So which are you more like? The ego-driven genius, or the invested neighbor? (Please do not answer these questions in the comments.)
Do you have a "thinking rock", or quiet place to ponder? And what is it that really draws you to people?
Have you seen Pay It Forward? I love and hate that movie. Why? I hate crying while watching a movie, and it gets me every time--but the message is awesome.
This reminds me of that:
Mom always said if you're having a bad day, do something nice for someone else.
...everyone took a turn, even Mom and Dad--which I thought was ridiculous. They were grown-ups after all. Smiles and excited screaming filled the yard.
JUMP!
You know that free-fall sensation when the ground rushes up, your stomach clenches, and adrenaline tenses every muscle. Life is comprised of those moments of decision, those turning points that make you either want to puke, or scream from pure exhilaration. But if we aren't willing to jump, how will we ever know what waits? Will we hit the ground and spring back up, or will we be a pancake?
I tend to be trigger shy. Wasn't always that way. In fact, this development is something that's come about thanks to several pancake experiences. Were they true pancakes? I don't know, but my inflation machine is starting to run out of batteries. (Thus the scientists locked in my Floridian basement are working on a never-ending power supply.) Still, the older I get, the more I realize this life only happens once. So what if we fail? Did we learn something? (Perhaps how NOT to fail next time?)
Happiness results from overcoming the odds.
Walt Disney took CRAZY risk when he put out Snow White. He mortgaged everything--his home, his company, everything. He and his wife held their breath as their world threatened to collapse in and crush them. But the opposite happened. The thriving business that is now Disney bloomed out of that single terror-inducing risk. Can you imagine the world without Disney?
And finally, a quick footnote, I would not remember any of the aforementioned experiences if I'd not had the foresight to record them in a JOURNAL. Yup. That's right. A second "J" word! (Watch out--they'll be popping up all over the place today.)
Have you overcome your odds? What pancake experiences have you survived?
Ah, the infamous quote we hear time and time again. As a writer, this is some of the prime advice you receive--not to imitate anyone else, but to write until you've developed your own voice. I call this a form of Integrity.
According to dictionary.com, integrity is: 1. adherencetomoralandethicalprinciples;soundnessofmoralcharacter;honesty. 2. thestateofbeingwhole,entire,orundiminished:topreservetheintegrityoftheempire. 3. asound, unimpaired,orperfectcondition:theintegrityofaship'shull.
Some people can get away with lie upon lie, even to themselves--but then, what are they left with?
"I'm a size six." *RIP* "Uh, they must have not sewn that seam very well."
That's right, exposure. =)
Society in general seems to be suffering from a lack of integrity--people who embezzle from work, cheating spouses, employees who give less than their best for a paid day of work, people who cheat on tests (let's pray they don't become doctors!), even those who lie under oath or omit the truth to promote their own agenda.
How do we heal this rampant evil and begin to mend society? One person at a time. Ourselves. One family at a time. Our families. One relationship of trust at a time--the ones we treasure most, the ones that will bring us the greatest happiness.
Trust=freedom. Freedom brings happiness.
To thine own self be true, eh? And while we're speaking about honesty, what is the stupidest lie you've ever told or heard? (I love the ones that come from little kids!)
"I've always wanted to try my hand at chicken farming," says Bob. "Really?" his farmer friend asks. "Tell you what, I'll give you 50 chickens to start you out." A month later Bob reports sadly, "They're all dead." Attributing this to bad luck, the farmer decides to give Bob another 50 chickens. A month later Bob admits the chickens are all dead, again. "You must be having some terrible luck," the farmer says. "Tell you what, I'll give you 50 more chickens." --Because no one could fail completely three times in a row. But at the end of the month, the chickens are dead. The farmer scratches his head. "What are you doing wrong?" Bob shrugs. "I'm either planting them too deep or close together."
H is for Humor.
I'm sorry, there are just way too many stupid or funny things that happen in life. I believe one major key to happiness is being able to laugh--at ourselves, at situations, at things that are just plain funny--and even some things that may not be so funny. What does laughing do?
Lowers blood pressure
Increases blood flow and oxygen in the blood
Exercises various muscles (diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, face, leg and back)
Decreases stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline
Quickens immune response cells (ones that fight against tumors)
Aids in learning--according to a study at John Hopkins University Medical School
In my first post on happiness, we talked about attitude. Well, this is part two.
The Attitude of Gratitude.
One of my favorite books as a kid was It's Not Easy Being a Bunny. Even if I didn't love rabbits (which I did), I would have loved this story. PJ Funny Bunny is so fed up with his life--his hundreds of siblings and having to eat cooked carrots every night--that he decides to hit the road and find a better family.
He joins a family of bears, moose, possums, birds, beavers, and finally skunks before realizing none of them are right for him. At the end of the story he gratefully runs back to his family, embracing all their eccentricities and foibles.
I think we're often like PJ, too close to the wallpaper to see the amazing pattern. If we can step back to appreciate the unique beauty that defines our lives, we'll find the insight to appreciate even the difficult times. In an effort to find the good during rough patches, I often rely on my journal. At the end of each day, I take ten minutes, think about everything that happened, and find a few things to be truly grateful for. As with all good habits, gratitude takes training. It really is an attitude, and practice makes perfect.
AND, a little known secret, the grateful ones are the ones who receive the most.
At least in my family, the kid who's the most grateful is the one who tends to get spoiled the most. Writers who express their thanks for a follow or book purchase are viewed in a brighter light. Friends who thank me for my time are the ones I'm inclined to invest the most time in. Think about it.
Gratitude really is one of the key proponents to finding happiness, so are you brave enough to take the challenge? Will you join me for the next month, recording 5 things you're grateful for each day? Meet me back here on May 6th to chat about our discoveries! *rubbing hands in anticipation*
