Why You Are Destined to Offend Others & IWSG

Relationships are messy. 

Right?

Just as soon as it seems everything is going well, something pops up that needs to be straightened, fixed, discussed, changed.

This is life: Change. Always.

We all have thoughts, feelings, influences, moods, (hormone swings -- ugh), and more. There's no way you can go through life without saying or doing something that will strike someone else poorly. And even offend them.

In fact, you may do things intentionally that will offend others.

I might too.

Ultimately, we will all be offended, hurt, or broken at some point. And if we're fully living life, many times -- perhaps even in a single day.

Something I learned when I was being bullied as a kid: It was my choice HOW to react. I could lash out and add to the animosity, ignore it and hope it would go away, shrink into myself and nurse a poor-me mentality, or I could choose to understand that people make mistakes and perhaps they were acting as a result of their own trauma.

I mean, not all of them. People are lemmings and some were just following the crowd.

The point is, I could CHOOSE to be offended.

And yes, it's a choice.

I could also CHOOSE to let it go and focus on happiness rather than obsessing over how everyone else was acting.

Being angry or hurt happens. It's an instant reaction and that's aceptable. But holding onto it, that's a decision that we make consciously or subconsciously, and we darn well better make a conscious, mature decision because we are adults. (Haha! I mean, some of us are. Sometimes.)

Being hurt is a choice.

Being angry is a choice.

Hurting others will happen--no matter how careful we are. Apologies are great but we have no power over other's decisions to accept or not accept.

So my advice today: Decide to let things go. Realize all people are impulsive, offensive, and broken sometimes. It's up to us to choose if we will be one of them or if we will let go of pain and anger so we can embrace the joys these emotions blind us against.

As for me, I'm choosing joy. As often as needed.

The awesome co-hosts for the October 1 posting of the IWSG are Beth Camp, Crystal Collier (Me!), and Cathrina Constantine!

The question is optional.

October 1 question - What is the most favorite thing you have written, published or not? And why?

Haha! This is easy. Immortal the Musical. Okay, so there is a book version, pending publication, along with a huge social media release, but the ACTUAL musical? I'd have to say it got its first sneak peak debut back in March. And it was well received. This is the culmination of all my writing expertise, decades of music, singing, orchestral study, composition, lyric work, and poetry of the heart (as my great-grandmother calls it). I don't think you can get more epic than that, right?

Give me your thoughts! Have you been deeply offended? Let go of a deep offense? What is your favorite project you've ever worked on (writing or otherwise)? And do you have a link?

The Magic Word: And It's Not Please (Plus IWSG)

Or abracadabra!

Or wha-la!

Or thank you.

It's not even cheese. *gasp*

(But it does make things better. Here, have some while we chat.)

What is this magical word that makes everything awesome?

Yup. That's the one.

“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.” -- Thomas S. Monson

My favorite t-shirt reads:

True principle--whether in our personal lives, the countries we live in, the homes we have established. This is why I keep a journal--trying to reinforce memories so I won't make the same mistakes again and again.

At the same time, keeping good memories close--the ones that build us up, that encourage us, that fill our hearts with joy, this is the KEY to happiness. On top of a journal, I like to keep a gratitude journal. Every day I list a minimum of 5 things I'm grateful for. This practice ensures I review the day for the best parts and focus on the things that bring me peace, happiness, even pain followed by resolution.

So is this concept magic? Remembering? Yup. Totally. 100%.

Let's reinforce AWESOME memories, holding onto the ones that shape us, and aiming to create a history we can be proud of.

The awesome co-hosts for the September 3 posting of the IWSG are Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Diedre Knight!

September 3 question: What are your thoughts on using AI, such as GPChat, Raptor, and others with your writing? Would you use it for research, storybible, or creating outlines\beats?

Here's where I admit I use it. Not for outlining. Not for story bible. I like AI for inspirational image generation, research assistance, and when my brain occasionally struggles with rephrasing a sentence, I really LOVE getting a few suggestions. (Normally, I'd go to a critique partner for this.) 

What about you? Do you use AI regularly? What for? And how do you keep your memories?

Is Change Messing With Your Sanity? IWSG

This is the month.

THE MONTH.

The month people go back to school. (Were you expecting something else?)

We've homeschooled for twenty years. Twenty. You might think I know what I'm doing after all that. Three graduates and two more inching forward with 9 years until the finish line... In those twenty years we've tried all kinds of things:

• Workbooks
• A kinesthetic education
• Virtual classes
• DVD classes
• Hosting co-ops
• Library classes
• A Montessori approach
• Establishing a teen book club
• Attending small co-ops
• Creating fieldtrips
• Early college
• Attending LARGE co-ops
• Hosting parties and events
• Running a drama program...

We've run solo, done groups, and used a hybrid. It's always easy to up the scale/scope/commitment, but it's terrifying to scale down. I remember the days of going it alone, always wondering if I was doing enough, worrying about the balance of experiences...

This school year, we're pulling away from the major supports we've utilized since 2018. Going solo. To be fair, we have a strong support group of friends but stepping back means everything falls on my shoulders.

And why are we doing this? 

To chase a dream. (Literally.) Because I can't do both. It's too much.

So we're giving up the familiar, comfortable, status quo for something that feels impossible, heavy, and ALL ON US. Doesn't that sound smart?

But here's the thing: it's either worth it, or it's not, and we can't know without trying. That's the deal with going after your dreams--if you don't put everything on the line, you are choosing the mundane. The boring. The unchallenged. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I'd rather live without any what if's. Which means I'm choosing (consciously, intentionally) the unknown and the burning shoulders that go with carrying the load. May my muscles grow rather than charring to cinder. 😂

What big dream would you risk it all for?

Thanks to our awesome co-hosts for the IWSG: Ronel Janse van Vuuren, Natalie Aguirre, Sarah - The Faux Fountain Pen, and Olga Godim.

This month's question - What is the most unethical practice in the publishing industry?

I'm going to skip the question this time, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. 

What changes are you facing that have your heart pounding? Do you have a big dream you'd throw your status quo to pursue? Have you ever stopped to intentionally rewrite your personal narrative?

Six Tricks to Conquer Insomnia AND The Exclusive, Long-Anticipated Sneak Peek

Read to the end because I have something EPIC in this post.

Speaking of reading, I read a LOT of books when I should be sleeping...because I can't. Sleep, that is. 

We could call out a couple reasons for that -- stress, my musical, kids, health...but we'll leave it there.

A couple things I've learned about NOT getting healthy sleep:

- Over time the brain will degrade and Alzheimer's symptoms may appear.

- Good luck taking off the weight if you don't give the body adequate time to rest.

- Your brain and tongue become separate entities.

So how do we overcome sleeplessness?

1. Exercise: When I first expressed I was having sleep issues, my father and doctor told me to exercise more. Default advice. (But not right before bed.)

2. Hormones/Gut health/Allergies: I don't know about you, but I have TERRIBLE allergies. If anything is off in my environment, sleep is the first to go. And let's face it, for women, hormones are constantly fluctuating, so...you know...get that under control.

3. Light pollution: The body is sensitive to light. Light tells us it's time to wake up. Darkness is your best, sleeping friend. This includes screens. Turn them off a couple hours before sleeping. Use a dim lamp while preparing for bed to help your body recognize it's almost sleep time.

4. Decompressing/routine/limiting stress: Build a routine around bedtime that helps your body and mind relax. For myself, that includes writing in a journal (getting out all the thoughts). Massage and soothing music may be helpful as well.

5. Breathing/meditation/prayer: Deep breathing -- meaning getting air all the way to the bottom of the lungs -- physically relaxes the body. Meditation releases the worries of the day. Prayer gives us an opportunity to place our cares on someone else.

6. And if none of that works, some people count sheep, but I've never found that effective. My brother in law recently taught me a new trick: WORD SOUP. Pick a word at least 6 letter long. While resting in bed, imagine an image that begins with each letter, going through them one at a time and -- focusing on each image for a minute or so. 

Example: Hungry 

H= hat

U= umbrella

N= newt

G= gold fish

R= rain

Y= yo-yo

This relaxes the brain. Chances are you'll get through 3 to 5 letters before sleep steps in.

Speaking of sleeping, the IWSG question this month addresses writing -- and since many of my story ideas come from dreams...

July 2 question - Is there a genre you haven't tried writing in yet that you really want to try? If so, do you plan on trying it?

Yes...and no. I want to write a biography about my special needs brother. I started it once and couldn't continue -- mostly due to the emotional drain. Also due to worries about conflicts with siblings who have DIFFERENT memories. Will I get back to it? Maybe. Maybe not.

And now the BIG awesome!!! 

Check out the highlight reel from my musical! Snatches, fun little snatches from our staged reading back in March. We'll be sharing more in the coming months -- a whole series of videos outlining scenes, giving the inside scoop, introducing characters, etc. Subscribe to our YouTube channel if you want the updates, join the newsletter to get all the insider info, and if you want EARLY access to all the awesomeness (and more), donate to the WORLD PREMIER. (Tentatively schedule for October 2027.)

What sleep techniques have you learned/employed? Are you trying something new (writing, reading, survival)? Like musicals?