Wednesday, April 3, 2013

How to Find Happiness A-Z: C

One day, my poor, college-student hubby and self decided to gather our pennies and splurge on ice cream. We dug through the couch, cleaned out the bottom of our drawers, and scoured the pockets of every jacket and coat. As we came together, I opened my hand to show my husband what I'd gathered, and expected him to add what he'd collected to my fist full of coins.

He reached out to take my collection.

"No." I closed my fist, growled, gave him a dark look, and held out my hand again.

Confused, he reach out again, laughing.

I hid the coins, grunted angrily, and offered my palm once more.

A third time he went to grab everything, laughing opening now--which only increased my irritation.

When I pulled my hand back a third time, spewing smoke through my ears, he asked what was going on and what I wanted. We had a simple, sweet discussion about what each of us had expected, and this silly little misunderstanding came to a close. Still, it's an experience we've never forgotten.

Communication.

This is a two part conundrum: words & actions.

If we communicate clearly with those about us (and kindly), we are much more likely to find happiness. Expectations can't be met if they're never expressed. Openness is the key to good relationships, and good relationships are key to lasting happiness. More importantly, we have the power to create happiness in others by offering a kind word, a sincere compliment, a smile. Never underestimate the influence you have on those about you.

What can you do TODAY to spread a little joy? 

34 comments:

  1. Nah, I just think us husbands need to understand that everything belongs to the womenfolk. ;)

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  2. Lol! Great story to start with! Thanks for reminding us communication is key!

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  3. Again, another fantastic post. I think you hit the nail on the head with expectations can't be met if they're never expressed. I think that's certainly something I need to work on from time to time; thanks for the reminder.

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    1. I think most women suffer from this. I mean, we perceive other's needs before they say anything, right? They should simply absorb our expectations as well. ;)

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  4. Yes we need to make it clear what we mean instead of expecting the other person to be physcic.
    Is Anyone There

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    1. Although it would be really cool if we could send mental messages straight to other's brains. And scary.

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  5. My husband just reminded me, he isn't a mind reader, and I teased him he's been trying for many years, figured he would have it down pat by now!

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    1. Awesome. My hubby constantly refers to that "thing", and magically expects me to know exactly what he's talking about, so I figure it's only fair if I just expect him to know things on occasion too. ;)

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  6. My husband learned a long time ago, never...ever...leave anything in your pockets on laundry day. :) I've managed the finances since we've been married, since he was military and deployed a lot. So, it's just natural for him now to hand me all the cash :)

    And you are so correct, communication is key. We've been married a little over 23 years, and it's until about 2 years ago that we've learned to really...REALLY communicate. I mean, yeah, we've talked and learned so much about each other over the years, but the problem lies with emotions...Since my husband suffers PTSD it's only been recently that we've been able to communicate and understand it. Even that's a very slow process. But if we didn't communicate, I'm sure that there would be much more unhappiness than there has been.

    Jamie Dement (LadyJai)
    http://writebackwards.we3dements.com

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    1. When I was 16 and asked my very wise grandmother what the most important thing was to have a good marriage, she gave a quick one word answer: communication. It's a challenge, but isn't it so awesome having someone who completely understands--or tried to understand you? --And someone you can extend that same courtesy to? Marriage rocks!

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  7. First off, always check the dryer. There is where I find most of my *coughs* I mean my husbands spending cash.

    Communication... such an easy thing and unfortunately often that last thing we think off. I am guilty of this, often assuming the people closest to me should "just know" what I need. Things are a lot less stressful when I actually open my mouth and speak. Thanks for reminding me of that.

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    1. My hubby actually empties his pockets, so I never see change anymore. *sigh* I have to find alternative funding for the occasional candy bar, like the kids' tooth-fairy-payment jar...

      LOL.

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  8. Wow- great story! I recently found $5 and some change in my coat pocket yesterday afternoon- totally made my day!

    Old follower. My blog: morgankatz505.blogspot.com

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    1. I want to magically find five dollars! Oh the things I would buy... ;)

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  9. Communication is so very key to any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Great story proving it ^_^

    ____

    Find me:
    Blog: http://allysonlindt.com
    email: Allyson.Lindt@gmail.com
    Twitter: @AllysonLindt

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    1. So true. Thanks for stopping in to read it!

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  10. Communication is such a big deal.

    And yeah, I've dug through the couch to find enough coins to get an ice cream cone.

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    1. Or bubble gum, or a block of cheese... Oh, that last one might be a Crystal exclusive. ;)

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  11. Communication is so important in any setting. Thanks for that reminder! I tend to just assume that people know what I'm thinking. Definitely need to work on that!

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  12. I forgot to communicate that I ate all the cheese in your fridge, ooops. You'll live, right? *runs as fast as I can* lol.

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  13. *gasp* *collapses in agony* *lets out a Darth Vader moan* NOOoooooooooooo!

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  14. My husband and I have been there- and you know what? Ice cream I buy now-a-days doesn't taste nearly so sweet.

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  15. This is probably the single most funny thing that has ever happened to me. She kept offering me the coins and when I went to take them she would pull back going no no no. Then she would open her hand and offer them again and say okay. I would try to take them and she would do the same thing. I was laughing so hard because I thought she was tring to give me the coins then she would not let me have them and then she would offer them again. I was like what are you doing....She was laughing too btw.

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    1. Yes, yes I was--out of sheer confusion.

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  16. Love the advice. I think I could use a bit more communication on my part when it comes to relationships. Knowing what's expected would definitely help, although sometimes I'm impossible to have a serious conversation with. ;)

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    1. And rightly so. What kind of writer would you be if the occasional conversation didn't revolve around nonsense?

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  17. To my shame, I totally wanted the C to be Conjuring for making coins disappear (and the reappear behind his ear!)

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    1. LOL. That would have been funner, for sure.

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  18. I agree with you that communication and openness are vital to achieving happiness in life. It's so easy to sit seething about something / someone annoying you, when the person has absolutely no idea that they're even doing anything to irritate you in the first place! It's so much easier when people let us know what the problems are, instead of having us try to guess! lol

    Thank you for your comment on my blog by the way :) Very glad it led me here!

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  19. So true! I have this terrible habit of assuming that everyone around me knows what I'm thinking.

    Really have to work that one.

    Or else I better work on my telepathy. ;-)

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  20. Great Posts! I once read a book "Attitude - Your most priceless possession". It made such a difference to me. You have reminded me that it is probably about time to go and find it and read it again.
    Thank you.

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Hit me with your cheese!