Wednesday, August 6, 2014

IWSG: Go on, Light Yourself on Fire



But don't burn yourself out.

I wish someone had uttered those words to me when I started into this writing gig, because they would have saved me a great deal of trauma.

We talk often about balance in this field, and when I first started out I was trying to do everything. I was on facebook all the time. I dabbled with twitter. I wrote like a fanatic, edited manically, critiqued anything people would let me handle, and read anything and everything about improving my art. I joined bloghops and contests. I attended conferences and and penned out every dream. I ran myself into the ground.

Years later, I've acquired a balance. We all have limits, and you must know yours. Mine now center around blogging once a week, writing daily, editing only in the daylight hours when my kids don't need me, critiquing at a pace that fits around my life (rather than the other way around), and participating in social media to taste. I still read like my life depends on it, but that reading has evolved more to fiction which I then review to support fellow authors. I don't participate in every cover reveal or blog tour because my blog is typically booked out 4 to 6 months, but given a chance to help, I do what I can--via a quick tweet, a share on Facebook, a book review, or a future feature date. We need to be generous to one another, but for heaven's sake, please don't kill yourself. No one wants that on their conscience.




Ready to guess the lie and win a book? 

Last week, the awesome C. Lee McKenzie shared DOUBLE NEGATIVE with us, along with two truths and one lie. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing for the chance to win any one of her books: Sliding on the Edge, The Princess of Las Pulgas, Alligators Overhead or Double Negative.  

Lee's game: 

1. Lee's favorite sport is spelunking.
2. She irons her sheets.
3. She's going to Myanmar in November. 
And the lie is:

#1, and if you don't know what spelunking is, let me give you a hint: 
(Aka caving. I used to do this with my dad all the time.)

Way to guess those of you who got it right! And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Sarah Foster!

Congrats Sarah! 

And now to today's feature:


SO many lovelies to choose from...SF/F/Paranormal/Suspense...
R. Mac Wheeler has jumped out of planes, driven motorcycles like an idiot, shot zillions of guns (never with ear protection--what?), ridden helicopters, rappelled down cliffs, explored mine shafts, skied, kayaked, had surgery on both knees and shoulders, and moved across the continent.  You can bet he built all of those experiences in his writing.

A native Texan, Mac has called South Florida home since 1987 where he and his wife spend their free time laughing at their three goofy dogs.

A former computer programmer and project manager,  he now focuses full time on science fiction, fantasy, suspense and paranormal that leverages the quirkiness and emotions of real life more often than the far fetched. 

You might find him munching on a three Mexican cheese mix over Jacked Doritos, bean dip, and jalapenos, in front of a football game.

Mac gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out the lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win your choice of any of his eBook's. YIKES! 

You have until Tuesday, August 12th, at 1 p.m. EDT to guess--and be sure to come back for the answer on August 13th.

TRUTH OR LIE

1. Mac rarely steps out the door of his house without a camera in hand.
2. He has never taken a writing class.
3. He maxed out the 140 MPH speedometer on his GS 750 while racing down Mt. Franklin.  

Only one more week to sign up for:



Which is the lie? Have you ever lit yourself on fire (figuratively)? Did you know what spelunking is? Are you a thrill seeker like Mac? 

182 comments:

  1. Social media does add another level of stress to the writing life. I'm a Facebook addict. I'm on there all day long. Seriously, its crazy. I realized yesterday that I'm much more prolific if I write on paper, something I haven't done in years. I wrote so much my hand cramped up. I think I'm going to make it a habit to write a couple times a week by hand. It cuts down on distractions. Balance is sort of elusive some times. You gotta test things out.

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    1. Awesome! I used to write that way, but I found the second draft too cumbersome, and then I'd never translate everything exactly the same when typing it into the computer. What if I wanted to grab a snatch of prose later? Or an entire scene I cut? Of course, I totally think writing by hand is super freeing too.

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  2. This post was exactly where I was a year and a half ago. Since then I've done the same thing--tried to simplify my online life so I can actually concentrate on writing. It's been good for me and I am reaching my goals again, but sometimes I feel guilty. I used to be so much better about supporting my fellow blogger writers. Reading, commenting, staying connected. *sigh*

    I feel less connected to this wonderful community now, but I've made more progress on my writing in the last 6 months than the entire year before. That's a good thing. It's good to know that most other writers will understand that.

    Happy Writing! Here's a link to my IWSG post-- My Writing Journey

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    1. Indeed they do! Way to be brave enough to step away and make the needed changes.

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  3. the comic is too funny!
    and we seem to be taking this writing journey at about the same pace - glad it's slowing down to a candle's taper! (slower and steady and bright!)
    yay I guessed Lee's lie! and yay for Sarah!
    and Mac is an interesting guy! i guess it's #3 for the lie

    happy hump day!!

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    1. Just about, right? I think you're a little ahead of me...but who's keeping track. ; )

      Here's to epic reads and epic authors! (Like us, of course.)

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  4. Yup, learning how to balance everything is key. The most important thing to remember (I think) is that family ALWAYS comes first. Blogging, FB, Twitter... even writing, has to come in second.

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  5. I may have just squealed....Thanks, Crystal! And now I know what spelunking is...

    Ahem, anyway, back to co-hosting duties...I think I understand how when you're first starting you want to do as much as possible. I'm kinda sorta this way but I think either my shyness or just the fact that I spend a lot of time working on my own book that keeps it from getting overboard. I will keep your advice in mind. :)

    Sarah Foster
    August IWSG Co-host

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    1. Yay! You totally deserved to win, Sarah. Happy day!

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  6. Yes, balance is everything! As for me? Beach in a week! The ocean is my goddess.

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    1. Heck yeah! (Why do you think I live in Florida? ;)

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  7. You sound like me. But I'm still trying to find a balance.

    I'm guessing #3 is the lie.

    IWSG #184 until Alex culls the list again.

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  8. Balance is a good thing. I hope I find it.
    I am giving myself the summer to flail around and not know what I'm doing. But when fall arrives and my kids go back to school -- and for the first time in 25 years, I DO NOT -- I will have to discover a schedule that works for me or I will go crazy.

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    1. It's so tough when your whole world gets shifted--figuring out how to make it work again. I'm going to be doing that VERY soon, so I totally empathize.

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  9. Very easy to get burned out on social media. Breaks are good, though. Balance? I'll get back to you when I figure that one out. :)

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  10. I love your animation. :) I've been at my limit before with critiquing. That stressed me out, and I had to back away from a couple of partners because it was too much. I still write when my family is asleep and go to critique group every other week, but I've gotten a balance that I think works for me.

    You are a wise woman, Crystal. Keep the advice coming!

    Loni

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    1. That's awesome. Way to work it out, Loni! I've learned that I can critique a chapter a week for people and not stress out around everything else I'm doing. More than that is just WAY too much.

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  11. I struggled so much with balance when I first published, and my writing suffered for it. Now I always put writing new words before social media and don't try to do everything - there are only so many hours in the day!

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  12. I'm going to say the second one is the lie.
    You do have to find balance. Especially online. Despite the pressures, I've never joined Facebook because I know it was stress me out with one more thing to tackle every day.

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    1. Good for you. I was on facebook before facebook was a trend. It was a way to keep in touch with my family on the other side of the country. I'm not sure I like how it's evolved, but that's life, eh?

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  13. I've been in a creative funk and suffering social media burnout this summer. Taking a small break to help me find a new balance, a better direction, has really helped. Not quite there yet, but working on it. :)

    Madeline @ The Shellshank Redemption

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    1. Way to go, Madeline. You really do just have to step back and regenerate sometimes, eh?

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  14. Spelunking...proving that you learn something new every DAY!! lol

    Nice.

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  15. I hope it's not true about ironing sheets. That's just so wrong. LOL.

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  16. Balance. Yeah...still working on that one. But it's getting better. Congrats on your release!

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    1. Thanks, Elizabeth. It's one of those things we find only after much practice, eh?

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  17. Finding that right balance can be difficult. I finally feel as though I've read enough books and blog posts on writing that I can cut back on those and just get around to the writing itself. And I still don't pay enough attention to social media.

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    1. Way to be! I'm becoming more and more that way with every passing day. I hope that's a good thing.

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  18. Balance is an amazing thing, and sometimes quite the elusive beast! :) And I'm with Joylene--totally hope that's not a total truth about ironing sheets! As for today's guess, I'm going with #1.

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  19. It's hard to slow down when we''re starting out because we feel as if we have to get our name out and participate in everything. With time and the threat of burnout, we develop some wisdom and learn to cut back on manic activity.

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    1. Too true. Until you figure out where you should be focusing, it's hard to stop flailing your arms. =)

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  20. Oh wow, yes, do I wish someone had given me that advice - in fact I wish someone had tattooed it on my forehead at birth ;) Balance is the key, and I forget that lesson each and every day. Sigh. Thanks for the great reminder, Crystal!

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    1. I know! Of course that tattoo would make for some interesting conversations...

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  21. I've been finding a better balance too. I needed to learn to put my own writing first before the rest. And to give myself time to read just for enjoyment. I don't think Mac did 140. At least I hope not.

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  22. Achieving balance is difficult. I have put myself on a social media diet where I only interact online after I have completed my daily writing goals. Sometimes, that's around lunchtime. Sometimes, that's not until late afternoon.

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  23. So true it's all about balance. And I struggle with this and not feeling guilty for not helping everyone while I try to cut down my blogging to a manageable level. I'm booked for months out too so it's hard to participate in many of the blog tours of blog friends. Glad I can at least share in Follower News.

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    1. I know! It's so hard. You really do want to help everyone, but it's just not possible.

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  24. Let's see if I can get comments to work for me now... grrr... blogger's lack of cooperation is getting me off balance. Yeah, we have to be realistic about what we can do and set our priorities.

    I will guess #2 is the lie.

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    1. Oh my, I know what you mean. Nothing irks me worse that glitchy technology.

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  25. I am a bit jealous-I wish I could find that kind of balance like you did! I'm still burning myself out. I over commit myself and my time. I really need to say no a whole lot more, and slot some time in for myself, to write and to have some sanity/downtime, but it never seems to work out that way. One of these days, I will finally learn and pull it together :)

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    1. Hey, balance is a daily thing, right? Some days go exactly right, some days we have to readjust everything.

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  26. Some great advice:) I think I still try to do all those things, but I figure I'll be dead someday, so I might as well live it up while I can:)

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  27. Finding balance is great advice. No one can do everything and picking the most important matters.
    lucindawhitney.com

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    1. Too true. Here's to learning that difficult lesson, eh?

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  28. I wrote similarly today on knowing when to slow down. I think those surges are motivating but they can't be kept up for long. I used to go to youth rallies through my church where we were encouraged to "be on fire." Or you'd hear "I used to be on fire [for God/Jesus etc} but..." and then the sad tale of losing said fire. But how long can you keep up a fire? Sometimes that fire is a simmer and that's OK. Big bonfires take a lot of fuel and eventually that fuel runs out.

    Great post!

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  29. I definitely burned myself out a time or two in the past, but I'm more balanced now. Thank goodness!

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  30. I think, to some degree, we all tend to burn ourselves out first... and THEN find the happy medium! LOL
    Love that FIRENATOR!
    The lie is no.#2

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  31. I'm going to guess #3 for R.Mac's lie. Love the pic of him with his rock star dog. :)

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  32. I think I've always struggled with the balancing act. So hard to wear many hats sometimes.

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  33. I do all that stuff you do and still feel I don't get anything done. I must be the slowest writer/editor/blogger on the planet. Thankfully, I'm in no danger of burning out. :)

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    1. Probably not. I'm probably slower. (Incidentally, those were things I did a long time ago. The list is longer now, just more spread out over the week.)

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  34. You are so right--balance is key. Sometimes it's hard to know what to focus on, when so many things are vying for attention. I guess it's just a matter of trial and error...

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    1. Too true. Eventually you find the balance that works for you.

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  35. Balance is great but it can be hard to achieve. I love spelunking!

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    1. *high five* Yes! Here's to high-adventure lovers.

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  36. Balance... I've always been bad at that. I can balance on one foot just fine, and I can walk on the curb with great poise.. but balancing all the things I want/need to do.. not so much. Good to have the reminder!

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  37. Hear, hear! You'll never have enough time to do all the things. So don't spend energy trying. Learn the places you can make a difference and focus on those.

    Wait, Lee irons her sheets?! She totally needs to read this post! :P

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  38. Finding balance is a never ending search, isn't it? I'll have it some weeks, think I'm finally there, and then something happens to change all my carefully cultivated balance.

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    1. I know! It's the name of the game. Life is perfect, then wham!

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  39. I'll guess the lie is #1.

    Balance is very important. One should try to find a few things one really wants to do and is good at, and focus on them, instead of trying to burn the midnight oil for every last thing a writer could do.

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    1. Yuppers. We're good at burning too brightly anyway, right?

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  40. Yay for Sarah! I do iron my sheets. Here's why. It's mindless. It happens after a day of writing or waiting to hear about a submission. It involves wine and a movie, so zoning out is what that's all about. Plus, I hate wrinkled sheets. I like to be the queen when I go to bed. :-)

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    1. I guess that works. I think kids kind of trample the whole queen idea though. It's hard to imagine yourself a queen when you're scraping nasties off the floor and washing walls all the time.

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  41. I had a friend who said that if you burn the candle at both ends you will soon become a cinder. She was right. We need more good balance in our lives, this is true. It's nice to meet Mac. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Hey, I've been a cinder before. It makes for an interesting existence. =)

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  42. I'm nowhere close to being balanced, but I have taken a few small steps. Things like socializing with people and going to see musicals and movies and such, instead of being holed up in my house all the time. It does help me feel a little less crazy, but there are still so many things I neglect because of my writing.

    Wow! All those books are his! Nice. I'm going with #1 again. That dog is awesome. ^_^

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  43. I think I have a horrible sense of balance, yet I never fall over.

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  44. For me there is no balance, but instead I sometimes spend more time on one aspect of my work than another. Whatever helps you avoid feeling burned to a crisp is good.

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  45. Balance is so crucial! I'm still learning it. I think you've struck the balance. Your books look fantastic, and I love how you help out so many writers!

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  46. Oh my gosh, that comic is hilarious!

    Very sound advice here. Finding balance and making realistic goals and plans is a good key . . . if only it was easy lol Still, at least aiming not to burn ourselves out is a good start!

    Mac . . . I guess it's #3 for the lie.

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  47. Excellent anti-burnout advice! I'm still working on that balance thing, but I think I'm finally on the winning side - just barely.

    I think Mac's lie is #3.

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  48. Balance is tough to find these days. I feel so reactive to all the changes going on, and trying to stay on top of things. It's always good to be able to say "no."

    Hmmm...I know Mac loves to take pics. My guess is #2 is the lie.

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  49. What GREAT advice! Not burning out is a must. I'm doing my best to get my joy-in-writing back just because of this, burning out, getting disillusioned. Thanks for posting about something we all need to be reminded of...

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting. It's great to hear from you, Lisa!

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  50. My gosh, I didn't think I'd ever get to the end of the comments so I could post mine. You are Mrs Popularity. Your advice is excellent. Sometimes I still let myself get sucked into time wasting stuff, but time wasting can be fun every now and then.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. LOL. Only the first week of the month. We writers love our IWSG, eh? =)

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  51. Crystal, I can't tell you how lucky I am to have stumbled on your blog. Truly, you offer some great words of wisdom. As someone who is working full time and trying to do even half of what some phenomenal writers such as yourself do, I find myself never up to par. Thank you for being an inspiration. I'm hoping to find that comfortable balance soon!

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    1. Aw, thanks Anna, and best of luck to you in your balancing game. One day at a time, eh?

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  52. The tricky thing called balance... we are forever looking for it... it entails us knowing our limits and living by them... not always easy when we have hectic lives but no one else will know our limits but ourselves... :)

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    1. Too true, and everyone's limits are so different.

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  53. I'm going to guess the lie is #2.
    I've never heard of the word spelunking but when you shared the picture, I realized what it was. You and C Lee are brave girls for being so adventurous!
    I think you already have an idea about my feelings toward social media from my blog post today. I envy you for finding your balance. As for me, I'm still trying to get it right. My head spins sometimes trying to focus on both of my brands but in the end, I'm content because I love writing novels and children's books. I guess it's all about balance and making the right sacrifices when necessary.
    I have learned Twitter and Facebook are great for making new connections and friends but as far as sales go, they just don't seem to cut it. Tour blogs and giveaways help, especially on parenting websites and children's books. I have a lot to learn as far as promoting once my novel is finished. But baby steps is all I can do right now=)

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    1. I think the spelunking came from having a scout master father. :)

      Baby steps are all we can ever do--one day at a time. Eventually we reach our destination.

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  54. OMG That little gift it too hilarious. I could watch that for hours.
    I'm not sure I've learned my lesson on lighting myself on fire. I need to get myself set up with a routine.

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    1. I know! I could watch it forever too. It's awesome, right?

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  55. Balance - that is what I am going for, no where near it yet though. As for the game, I vote number 2, no writing class.

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  56. I'm going to guess number two is the lie.

    Your gif is funny, if slightly gruesome. :) So far I've been able to stay fairly balanced, but that's why I write so slow. I was so excited that both my kids were going to be in school this year, then we adopted a 2 year old. No extra writing time for me!

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    1. I know what you mean. I was so stoked when my oldest became school aged, and then we moved to NYC. Welcome, home schooling. =) Life throws us all kinds of twists, doesn't it?

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  57. You have a few commenters. I almost forgot what I was going to say. :-) Yes, balance is difficult but I think I have it now. Fingers crossed. :-)

    http://emaginette.wordpress.com/2014/08/05/wisg-4-the-waiting-game/

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  58. Yes, I do know what spelunking is. I'm working on the whole balance thing. But I'm too lazy to try to do too much at any one time. My problem is moving forward.

    Lie...? Hmmm... #2.

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  59. This is a really beautiful post and so true, Crystal. It can be really tough keeping up with it all. It's so great you're able to find such a healthy balance. Hopefully I can get there too =) I'm encouraged that it is possible by this post.

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  60. I used to be like you. I felt like I had to do everything. now I have balance in my life with my writing. Why didn't I do it sooner?

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  61. This post didn't involve anyone actually setting themselves on fire. I'm a little disappointed. :P But seriously, I know what you mean. There is such a thing as trying to do too much, even if it doesn't seem so at the time. I sometimes wonder if the last book I wrote wouldn't have turned out as such crap if I hadn't done two writing sessions a day, forcing myself to plow through it.

    And spelunking is awesome. ^_^

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  62. I've given up on finding balance. I hear it's just a myth. Like rainbow farting unicorns and hillbilly S.W.A.T. teams.

    I've ridden motorcycles, explored mine shafts, shot guns (with ear protection) and rappelled down the side of a stadium. I'm only halfway to being as accomplished as your guest. :)

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  63. I've yet to find my balance. I think it will be easier once my son is in school full-time which won't be for another year. Until then, he's the priority in my life. The rest I scramble with! As for the lie, hmm, #3.

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    1. And rightly so. Relationships are way more important than books or accomplishments, and the kids are only young once. =)

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  64. Your balance sounds good, Chrystal. Hope it sails along serenely. I'm guessing--never taken a writing class...:)

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  65. Setting priorities and balancing them can be a challenge. In the past, I was forever juggling too many responsibilities and commitments, and trying to give each one of them my all. That's only sustainable for so long. It's the same thing with juggling various social media and our writing endeavors, along with all the other responsibilities. Something's gotta give.

    As for which is the lie, I hope he didn't go 140 down Mt. Mitchell. Seeking an adrenaline rush is one thing, but that sounds downright dangerous.

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    1. So true, eventually something does have to give, and hopefully it's not your sanity or brain. =)

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  66. That's great how you've finally figured out the perfect balance for yourself! Balance is something I still can't help but struggle with, I must admit...

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  67. Yeah, I kind of bit off more than I could chew in the beginning but I have a good balance now.

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  68. Great advice. I started off blogging frantically, and joining every blog hop going, but gradually I learned to pick and choose what I really wanted to do. It gives me time for writing, which is obviously perfect :-)

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    1. Obviously. There are so many great blogs out there, it's hard for me to pick just a couple to follow, you know?

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  69. That really good advice. I'm just learning to balance my blogging and creative endeavors with my family time. A baby gets you to do that! LOL

    I think the lie is number two. :)

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  70. I agree with you on finding balance. My brother pressures me to follow the entire extended family of Offutts that live in places where I've never been and to whom I've not spoken to in decades. So I fought back saying, "I just don't have the time to spend on all of that 'extended' family. I don't want to follow them on Facebook, I don't care about their lives, and they don't care about me as none of them have spoken to me in twenty years. I have blogs to check, tweets to read, posts to write, and already enough facebooks to check every day that I don't get to them all enough as I should." Yep yep, spreading yourself too thin is a recipe for disaster.

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    1. Okay, that makes me a little sad. I grew up rather close to my extended family, and it makes my heart happy to hear from them or spend time with them.

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  71. Oh gosh, I suck at balance! But I'm working on it! :)

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  72. I love this. Balance is something I'm working on. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I realize everyone else is doing it too! And it's okay! I'm guessing the lie is #1, but it's so hard to tell!

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    1. I know! There's a reason I host these things rather than playing them. ;)

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  73. I haven't gotten that balance thing down yet, but I'm changing a few things in the next months to see if I can get closer. As to the lie, I'm going for 2.

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  74. I couldn't agree with you more about balance. Though it's difficult to teach, the best way to learn is through trial and error. I'm really upset Lee irons her sheets!

    Julie

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  75. Keeping up with social media is draining and I don't know how some people do it. They must have super dooper time managements skills and a lot more energy.

    And Lee irons her sheets. Goodness, I don't even iron my shirts.

    I think the lie is number 2, but number 3 sounds scary.

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    1. I know what you mean--and I specifically buy non-crinkle materials that I don't have to worry about ironing. Beat that on the laziness scale. ;)

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  76. I've almost burned myself out to a point of no writerly return, but I managed to bring myself back from the brink.

    Oh, and I think number 3 is the lie.

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  77. It's tough finding that balance. You want to do it all, but you'll drive yourself crazy. I guess you just have to pick what's important and focus on that.

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    1. So true. And you do a wonderful job of that by focusing on your family. =)

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  78. Hi, Crystal...
    I posted something very similar about time .... Balance is the key, but for many of the key is lost somewhere in time... lol.

    I hope to find that balance soon!

    Congrats to Sarah!


    As for the lie.... I guess #2.... many writers have never taken a writing class....

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    1. I'm wishing I had a cheese that automatically balanced people out. I'd be rich!

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  79. You used to do that, Crystal? You're a brave, brave woman.

    I'm guessing #2, because Mac is a naturally talented - and very nice - guy. Fingers crossed. I've gotta get one of these correct one of these days.

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    1. It was a blast! And guess what? You guessed right! Wahoo!

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  80. Way to go, Sarah! Yeah, we have to do what we can to support each other, but there are only so many hours in the day!

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  81. Hi Crystal ... imbalance is always difficult to 'control' - pull away sometimes. I'm not sure if I guessed Lee would positively not prefer to spelunk - nor would I ... well done Sarah.

    Now Mac - looks like he's got no time to learn to write! so #2 ...

    Looks like he's got the balance right .. his dogs and wife keep him on track ... cheers to one and all - Hilary

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  82. Excellent post. I still haven't found the right balance, but I'm getting there ;-)

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  83. I think #3 is the lie.

    A year ago I deleted myself off a bunch of social media sites that weren't doing much for me, or I wasn't using them right. I only stick to the ones that work for me. I've also been reading more bloggers' books to support them. I also don't join every single bloghop out there.

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    1. It sounds like you've got this thing figured out. Way to go!

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  84. Some sound advice there, Crystal. It's all about balance is it not!

    I think number 3 is the lie. :)

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  85. I am so prone to burning myself out! I recover, find balance... and then bury myself in projects all over again. *facepalm*

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  86. finding balance is the hardest part. good luck!

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  87. I just said the same thing to a fellow writer this morning. Just enjoy the process!

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  88. Must find a balance! I agree. We only have a short time with our kiddos before they're out the door. So, uh, C. Lee irons her sheets? Guessed that one wrong. You probably guessed that I don't;-) I would say Mac's lie is #2.

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    1. I know! Who irons their sheets? You have to admit, that makes for a pretty interesting fact though.

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  89. Thank you so much for dropping in at my blog today Crystal.
    I had such a chuckle reading your post and even though I'm not an author I know exactly what you mean because most of the time I feel I am doing lots but getting nowhere. sigh...i have to find the balance.

    http://www.fabulosityreads.com/

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    1. I think that's a fact of life. It's so easy to get lost in the crazy of everything we COULD be doing.

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  90. Balance can be hard to find but something to treasure when we do find it.

    I'm going to guess #3 the lie.

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  91. What a great IWSG post, Crystal! Sorry it took me so long to get over here...I'm still trying to find that balance!! :)

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Hit me with your cheese!