Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Sharks, Souls, Shampoo and Haagen-Dazs

I need a laugh. Do you need a laugh? (I'm kind of on a movie kick, so bear with me.)

But first, C. Lee Mckenzie had me over at her place on Monday, sharing my BEST writerly advice. Check it out.










Ready to guess the lie and win a book? 

Last week, the awesome R. Mac Wheeler shared his massive collection of books with us, along with two truths and one lie. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing for the chance to win any one of his books 

Mac's game: 

1. Mac rarely steps out the door of his house without a camera in hand.
2. He has never taken a writing class.
3. He maxed out the 140 MPH speedometer on his GS 750 while racing down Mt. Franklin.  
And the lie is:

#2. Mac knew he wanted to be a writer by the sixth grade, and took every creative writing class he could in high school and college. He never finished his first novel attempt, a children’s story. It took him ten years to finish his first novel, which ended up being split into three novels, twenty years later.

Way to guess those of you who got it right! And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...


Congrats Jennifer! 

And now to today's feature:

The agony of a failed quest haunts Kanze Zenjiro, but the betrayal by those he trusted has turned his world upside down. With a heart full of hatred and defeat, Zen is desperate to get back to Nihon and demand the truth from his father.

Meanwhile, the Iberian Empire sends their soaring airships and steam-powered giants into The Orient. They threaten to upset the balance of power, hoping to exploit the faraway land in their greed for the resources needed to power their machines. Zen and his companions must fight to keep the world from plunging into total destruction.

And at the center of it all is a nine year old boy with the power of a god.
Get your copy HERE.
Jay Noel was born in New York but lives in St. Louis with his family. He received a degree in English, and despite what people say, an English degree isn't a big waste of time. Jay's been blogging since 2005, and he's a regular contributor to CultureBrats.com and inkPageant.com.

His favorite cheese is Provel cheese. It's a St. Louis invention and combines Swiss, cheddar, and provolone cheeses. It's perfect on pizza or a salad and he loves to eat it in his sun room while listening to the waterfall in his pond.

Jay gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out the lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win your choice of either of his eBook's: Dragonfly Warrior OR Shadow Warrior. 

You have until Tuesday, August 19th, at 1 p.m. EDT to guess--and be sure to come back for the answer on August 20th.

TRUTH OR LIE
(We're going with scary things today.)

1. Jay had a near-death experience in his 20's.
2. His biggest fear is being poked in the eye.
3. He went skydiving on his 40th birthday.

AND while you're here, this is the final week to sign up for:


Features include: 
Promotional Spotlights with excerpts
Meet the Cast
A first chapter reading
A special Halloween Vlog
Author and Character interviews.

Which is the lie? Do you like steampunk books? When's the last time you did something that scared you? 

112 comments:

  1. My pop-culture deficiency made some of these funnies go over my head, I must admit. That "flavor" one had me laughing heaps, though! Hah!

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  2. Ooo I just noticed your Soulless countdown clock! So exciting!

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    1. It's new, as of this week, Sarah. Thanks for noticing. =)

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  3. None of those funnies went over my head. Great selection...thanks for the laugh.

    I do like steampunk. It cool.

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  4. Heh, heh, heh. I liked the first one!

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    1. I know! I saw it months and months ago, and it was fated to appear on this blog even then. =)

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  5. Those funnies were great!
    I'm going to say number three is the lie.

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  6. Honey, I ALWAYS need a laugh! These were great :) Especially the sad, lonely sharks, LOL.

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    1. Seconded. I think we all need as many laughs as we can get.

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  7. I think number 3 is a lie, too. Love those funnies!

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  8. I like some steampunk. I'm picky about it. I don't think Jay is 40 so he didn't skydive on that birthday. He looks way too young.

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    1. I'm sure he'll be very glad to read that. (Right, Jay?)

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  9. Hi Crystal!! I needed those laughs this morning. Thank you so very much :)

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    1. Any time, Keith. They're a blast to collect.

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  10. Dumbledore is worth it. Love the first one with The Walking Dead. I think with Jay that #3 is the lie. But you never know. That shark needs to learn to hug with his fins and not his teeth. Hilarious post Crystal.

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    1. LOL. Hugging with fins rather than teeth would be good.

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  11. Thanks for the smiles. Great post.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Glad they could make you smile, Janie. =)

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  12. Love the funnies - especially the first one and the soul one. Everybody has said #3, so I'm going to be different and say #2.

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    1. Ooh! Being different... So dangerous. ;)

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  13. I know I needed the smiles today..these were funny. Have a great day Crystal ;-)

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    1. Thanks, Launna. I hope you have an amazing day too.

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  14. Great funnies! The living statue one is classic :) And I'm going to guess #1!

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  15. I can't even list how many great things are on your blog today. Ridiculously funny meme's, R. Mac's amazing list of great books, and Jay Noel's release.

    I'd have to guess that R. Mac's lie is that he's never taken a writing class!

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    1. I know! What author doesn't take at least one writing class, right?

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  16. Thanks for the laughs. Love that line: I see dead people. It's amazing that nobody ruined the ending for anyone else. I saw it on vacation when it first came out. I was so sure somebody on TV would spill the beans. Nope. And that's rather inspiring even now.

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    1. It's true. There was a day and age where people respected the end. Now days, I'm not sure that would have worked. There'd have been too many social media comments about it. =)

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  17. Ooh, the countdown clock is nice! I love it.
    Yay, pictures! ^_^

    I don't he's 40, so I'm going with #3. :)

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  18. Tis shark season :D They can be good for a laugh in movies.

    Woo hoo for Jay. I'd guess his lie is #2.

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    1. Too true. As long as people don't take them too seriously...

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  19. Congrats to Jennifer!!!!

    And yay for Jay… hmmmm… I definitely think #2 is the lie… because I know he had something horrific happen to him and I can see Jay sky diving!!!

    This was WAY fun. :)

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    1. That's the goal. Thanks for playing, Morgan.

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  20. Love the photo - the soul eating girl was fantastic.

    I say Jay is lying about #1. Haven't we all had a near death experience in our 20's?

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  21. Those gave me a good chuckle. Thanks!

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  22. Haha! I liked the Harry Potter and LOTR's one.

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  23. Poor misunderstood little sharkies...

    Good funnies. Okay, which one is the lie? I think maybe the one about having a fear of being poked in the eye. Maybe. (I don't think I've gotten one of these things right yet. My BS detector has always been defective.)

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    1. I know! Sharks just want to be loved too.

      I think you must have gotten at least one right.

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  24. Those were hilarious. ^_^ And the last time I did something that scared me? I've done other things since then, but I went skydiving with a friend to celebrate our 30th birthdays. There's nothing quite like falling out of a plane, even with a parachute and an instructor strapped to you... and nothing is more unnerving than watching your friend fall out first. Gah!

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    1. I KNOW! I went on a ride that was a similar experience once--total free fall. I have nerves of steel normally, but yes, I screamed. Like a little girl. I couldn't help it, but it was amazing!

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  25. One of these times, I'm going to get this right. I probably should pick a number before I read and re-read and think too much about them. #3. Jay looks more like a pilot than a skydiver.

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    1. You totally guessed it right! Way to go. See, perseverance.

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  26. I'm going to go with #3. And as for doing things that scare me... Well, let's not discuss that right now, shall we.

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  27. Those pictures gave me a laugh. :) Thanks for sharing!

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  28. I'm going with #3. I bet he has a fear of heights! :)

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    1. Hm. That's a good question. I wonder if he is.

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  29. Loved the laughs :) And I think #2 is the lie.

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  30. Okay ... those were funny, and apparently, I needed a laugh. THANKS!! :)

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  31. I guessed it!! I'm pretty good at detecting lies. That's why I write fiction and have teenage boys. Misunderstood sharks!! Sounds like a great premise for a picture book...uh, maybe not:)

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    1. Way to go! You really are awesome at guessing lies.

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  32. Oh man, those pictures are hilarious. Especially love the Sharks, Voldemort, Gandalf, and Gollum.

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    1. I KNOW! I come back to this post just to chuckle.

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  33. Thanks for all the laughs - especially the statue-scares-kid one. So funny! Good luck to Jay. Have a great day, Crystal! :)

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  34. Those were hilarious!

    And I'm going to guess #3 as the lie.

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  35. Great post. I am laughing so hard my stomach is hurting.
    The Hagandaz is by far the best.

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  36. I'm stil laughing!

    I think number 2 is the lie.

    Have a great weekend!

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  37. Thanks for the laugh - great! Especially the ice cream got me. . an evil side? ;)
    And I'll take 2 as the lie.

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    1. Just a little bit. Hey, if you can't laugh at the sinister stuff, you need to lighten up, eh? ;)

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  38. I loved the pictures. Are you getting psyched for the blog tour?

    As far as the lie goes, I'm guessing it's number 2. I mean, didn't we all have near death experiences when we were young and stupid?

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    1. Oh my, yes! So much to be done, and so many things to prepare... It's going to be awesome. =)

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  39. Thanks for the laughs. The Loreal one actually had me laughing out loud. As for the lie, I also guess number 2, as the same type of person who skydives on their birthday, has near death experiences :)

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  40. The Hagen Das was the best! I did have a LOL moment.

    As for the lie, I'm going with #1. I do not know why.

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  41. I love that Haagan Das one--was that for real? Oh to be there when that happened to see it in person!

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    1. I know! I've seen things like that in person, but never quite so dramatic. It's pretty awesome, eh?

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  42. I'm wondering which one of those is the funniest. Love them all.

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  43. Ha! I love the "This flavour tastes like your soul" Brilliant. Just the Saturday morning laugh I need :)

    I think 3 is the lie.

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    1. Yes, I scoured the interwebz far and wide to bring you the very best. =)

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  44. I needed a laugh, Crystal. Thanks. Did I sign up for your tour? I don't remember. Guess I'll have to go check.

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    1. Yes, you did sign up, and thank you, Ava.

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  45. Thanks for making me smile today :)

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  46. Haha! Love the movie pics. My favorite is definitely the last one where the Loreal shampoo tester escaped facility. Ha!

    I'll guess that the lie is #2.

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  47. #3 is the lie. He can't be 40!!!! ;)

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    1. I'm sure he's flattered by your insistence. =)

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  48. This has been so much fun! Thanks to Crystal for featuring me here.

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  49. If #2 is true, he'd wince at the paper-cut I got on my eyeball a few years back. Never let people shove flyers through your open car window!

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  50. Whatever you do, don't take the ice cream away from that kid. I'm going with number three for the lie.

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  51. I LOVE that Voldemort and Dumbledore poster. Love it. Have to share!

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  52. I like the shark, but the Golem part was particularly good...I think I've lot some brain cells...in a good way:)

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    1. You have to let them relax every now and again, right? ;)

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  53. Thanks for the humor!!! My eldest daughter still wants to swim with sharks and does think they are misunderstood even after snorkeling with them outside of a cage in Hawai'i. I don't think she wants to hug them . . . I hope.
    And how did I not know that Jay's book was out!!! I must go get a copy. :)

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    1. Oh, I hope she doesn't want to hug one. We learned the other day about how their bodies are covered in teeth... Ouch, right?

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  54. Congrats to Jennifer. I think I got that one right, too.

    I'm guessing 2 is the lie.

    Funny graphics. :D That girl's expression when eating ice cream is hilarious.

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  55. That little girl looks like she is attacking the ice cream.

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  56. Yep, needed those laughs. Thanks :)

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Hit me with your cheese!