The month people go back to school. (Were you expecting something else?)
We've homeschooled for twenty years. Twenty. You might think I know what I'm doing after all that. Three graduates and two more inching forward with 9 years until the finish line... In those twenty years we've tried all kinds of things:
Workbooks
A kinesthetic education
Virtual classes
DVD classes
Hosting co-ops
Library classes
A Montessori approach
Establishing a teen book club
Attending small co-ops
Creating fieldtrips
Early college
Attending LARGE co-ops
Hosting parties and events
Running a drama program...
We've run solo, done groups, and used a hybrid. It's always easy to up the scale/scope/commitment, but it's terrifying to scale down. I remember the days of going it alone, always wondering if I was doing enough, worrying about the balance of experiences...
This school year, we're pulling away from the major supports we've utilized since 2018. Going solo. To be fair, we have a strong support group of friends but stepping back means everything falls on my shoulders.
And why are we doing this?
To chase a dream. (Literally.) Because I can't do both. It's too much.
So we're giving up the familiar, comfortable, status quo for something that feels impossible, heavy, and ALL ON US. Doesn't that sound smart?
But here's the thing: it's either worth it, or it's not, and we can't know without trying. That's the deal with going after your dreams--if you don't put everything on the line, you are choosing the mundane. The boring. The unchallenged. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I'd rather live without any what if's. Which means I'm choosing (consciously, intentionally) the unknown and the burning shoulders that go with carrying the load. May my muscles grow rather than charring to cinder. 😂
This month's question - What is the most unethical practice in the publishing industry?
I'm going to skip the question this time, but I'd love to hear your thoughts.
What changes are you facing that have your heart pounding? Do you have a big dream you'd throw your status quo to pursue? Have you ever stopped to intentionally rewrite your personal narrative?
Read to the end because I have something EPIC in this post.
Speaking of reading, I read a LOT of books when I should be sleeping...because I can't. Sleep, that is.
We could call out a couple reasons for that -- stress, my musical, kids, health...but we'll leave it there.
A couple things I've learned about NOT getting healthy sleep:
- Over time the brain will degrade and Alzheimer's symptoms may appear.
- Good luck taking off the weight if you don't give the body adequate time to rest.
- Your brain and tongue become separate entities.
So how do we overcome sleeplessness?
1. Exercise: When I first expressed I was having sleep issues, my father and doctor told me to exercise more. Default advice. (But not right before bed.)
2. Hormones/Gut health/Allergies: I don't know about you, but I have TERRIBLE allergies. If anything is off in my environment, sleep is the first to go. And let's face it, for women, hormones are constantly fluctuating, so...you know...get that under control.
3. Light pollution: The body is sensitive to light. Light tells us it's time to wake up. Darkness is your best, sleeping friend. This includes screens. Turn them off a couple hours before sleeping. Use a dim lamp while preparing for bed to help your body recognize it's almost sleep time.
4. Decompressing/routine/limiting stress: Build a routine around bedtime that helps your body and mind relax. For myself, that includes writing in a journal (getting out all the thoughts). Massage and soothing music may be helpful as well.
5. Breathing/meditation/prayer: Deep breathing -- meaning getting air all the way to the bottom of the lungs -- physically relaxes the body. Meditation releases the worries of the day. Prayer gives us an opportunity to place our cares on someone else.
6. And if none of that works, some people count sheep, but I've never found that effective. My brother in law recently taught me a new trick: WORD SOUP. Pick a word at least 6 letter long. While resting in bed, imagine an image that begins with each letter, going through them one at a time and -- focusing on each image for a minute or so.
Example: Hungry
H= hat
U= umbrella
N= newt
G= gold fish
R= rain
Y= yo-yo
This relaxes the brain. Chances are you'll get through 3 to 5 letters before sleep steps in.
Speaking of sleeping, the IWSG question this month addresses writing -- and since many of my story ideas come from dreams...
July 2 question - Is there a genre you haven't tried writing in yet that you really want to try? If so, do you plan on trying it?
Yes...and no. I want to write a biography about my special needs brother. I started it once and couldn't continue -- mostly due to the emotional drain. Also due to worries about conflicts with siblings who have DIFFERENT memories. Will I get back to it? Maybe. Maybe not.
And now the BIG awesome!!!
Check out the highlight reel from my musical! Snatches, fun little snatches from our staged reading back in March. We'll be sharing more in the coming months -- a whole series of videos outlining scenes, giving the inside scoop, introducing characters, etc. Subscribe to our YouTube channel if you want the updates, join the newsletter to get all the insider info, and if you want EARLY access to all the awesomeness (and more), donate to the WORLD PREMIER. (Tentatively schedule for October 2027.)
What sleep techniques have you learned/employed? Are you trying something new (writing, reading, survival)? Like musicals?
My writerly friends think I'm talking about books.
I'm not.
Have you ever taken a jump that scared you to death?
Just watching that makes me shudder, but I think this next one is a hundred times worse:
It's so much easier to take a terrifying jump than watch a loved one do the same thing. (And yes, your projects, hopes, and dreams can be the things falling into the world.)
This is pretty much what I'm experiencing right now. In just a few months, my first baby is leaving to fulfill a church mission. I've prepared him well and taught him the best I know how, but that doesn't bring much comfort when facing this big...jump.
I know, I know, I should stop dreading it. He's leaving for a good reason, and his service will bless so many others. To borrow a line from Kiren (my Maiden of Time Series), "My head understands. My heart will not."
But here's the deal, I know this is just the beginning of the end. After this, he's gone. Life will happen, he'll strike out on his own. I'll still feel every blow along with him, every sadness, every hope, every joy, but from here on out, it will be entirely up to him how and if he succeeds. I don't fear he'll fail. He's a smart, kind, hard working young man, but after this, he's no longer just mine.
I think we all feel that way about anything close to our hearts that we choose to share. And it doesn't matter HOW we choose to share them, there is just as much anxiety, hope, joy, etc. involved in the process. It's just important that we do take the jump--terrifying as it may be. Otherwise our loves atrophy in obscurity.
My son will do amazing things and I look forward to seeing them happen. I'm so grateful for him. Life is fuller (fulfilling) because of him.
This has been an installation of the IWSG blog hop:
Last month Tanya Miranda shared THE ONYX RING along with two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win TWO eBooks.
The game:
1. I drink white vinegar straight from the bottle. 2. I have dozens of analog clocks around my house. 3. I could never build anything "cool" with LEGOs.
The lie: #3. From Tanya: Actually, I can build elaborate cars, planes, buildings, and other structures with layers and layers of details. I become a bit zombie-like when I get in front of a bucket of LEGOs. I get so absorbed, hours pass by without notice. During gatherings with friends and family, my husband knows he has lost me as soon as the kids bring out the LEGOs.
And speaking of adventures, how about an adventure story? Check it out:
Squirt doesn't believe Bubba can dig a hole to China. But when the hole swallows them, the kids find themselves in Xi'an, China, surrounded by Terracotta Warriors. It gets worse when the ghost of the first emperor of China appears. He tells them they can't go home until they find his missing pi. The kids don't know where to begin until they meet a girl and her grandmother who promise to help find the pendant. Soon they realize they are being followed. And they are no closer to finding the missing pi. Will Bubba and Squirt ever make it back home?
Sherry Ellis is an award-winning author and professional musician who plays and teaches the violin, viola, and piano. When she is not writing or engaged in musical activities, she can be found doing household chores, hiking, or exploring the world. Ellis, her husband, and their two children live in Atlanta, Georgia. www.sherryellis.org You might run across Sherry nibbling at French Gruyere on a water biscuit. Does this make her a cheese snob? (No, it just makes her epic.)
Sherry gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to win aSIGNED PRINT copy of the BUBBA AND SQUIRT'S BIG DIG TO CHINA. (Open internationally.)DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT OR AN EMAIL ON YOUR PROFILE? No problem. EMAIL crystal@crystal-collier.com to enter.
You have until Tuesday, October 2 at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on October 3rd, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE
1. Sherry once played her viola at night in the middle of the Black Forest in hopes of scaring away the wild boars. 2. Sherry enjoys parasailing and hopes to do it in Australia some day. 3.Sherry once crawled through a window of a locked hotel in Europe to get inside because she was out past curfew.
So sleuths, which is the lie? What important lessons have you learned in your journey for success? Have you met Sherry? Do you read love foreign adventure stories?
And I'm not talking about wrestling time out of the day to actually do it. How torn are you?
Recently, I found myself reading a book that got me pondering: what is it that keeps you hooked? (And feel free to apply this to life as well.) You want a great plot. You want awesome characters you can root for. You want drama, surprises, and an ending that leaves you satisfied. What don't you want?
Confusion.
I'm not talking about plot confusion, although that's pretty bad. I'm talking about emotional confusion. My daughter recently went through the terrible twos. My husband was confused about the sudden onset of tantrums. Why was our perfect angel a wreck? According to my research, two is the age at which kids start to process multiple emotions at once, and it's overwhelming. They can't handle it.
Adults aren't much different.
Writing/life really boils down to two things: Action VS Tension.
Action is pretty obvious. Things happen. We/characters react. Based on those reactions, we are improved or lessened, pushed toward our goals or further away. Action comes from outward forces, and then our response.
Tension is quieter. It's the subtle shifting of a mood, the emotional reaction to action. It's a building sense of peace or frustration, and I hate to tell you this, but you have ALL control over this aspect in life.
When it comes to writing/life, I think we really have to ask WHAT DO I WANT TO FEEL? WHAT DO I WANT MY READERS TO FEEL? When we analyze life/writing from this perspective, we are empowered to get to the heart of the matter. When we face life on this level, we can change the helplessness of "feeling, just because." Root out the confusion. Take a solid direction.
Some of the worst writing advice out there (and life advice) is to focus on the plot: How are we getting from point A to Z. The amazing parts are in the feels along the way, the shift from joy to sorrow, sorrow to joy. The experience is what makes the ending worth it.
On a related note, how about the IWSG question for the month: When your writing life is a bit cloudy or filled with rain, what do you do to dig down and keep on writing?
I switch stories and find one that loves me for the moment. It's easy to do when you have 20+ WIP's just waiting for their day in the sun. Eventually I find the clarity to come back.
I have a SPECIAL privilege this month. Growing up, I knew one writer: the woman down the street with 5 kids (whom I occasionally babysat for). Today I get to introduce you to her FABULOUS daughter, Michelle R. Reid, whose debut novel has just launched! Does that rock or what?
Alice didn’t fall down a rabbit hole. She was pushed down a staircase by a white Playboy bunny. She wakes up in Oz as the newest participant of the 27th Alice Games. If Alice can survive the journey to the Emerald Castle and select Red Queen as ruler, Oz has momentary peace and Alice can go home. If Alice dies along the way, then Oz will turn into a hellish, eternal winter. Alice suspects there’s more than that. If other Alices from Earth have already played, why is Oz still broken and frozen in time, repeating the Alice Games over and over? It’s time to unveil all the secrets and make this the last Alice Games ever played. Then she meets the knight Ace, a charming distraction and possibly a threat. Ace’s past is as dark as Oz’s, yet Alice’s heart tells her that he’s the key to ending the Alice Games forever. Falling in love is irrational because she’s going home at the end, dead or alive. But oh, that smile. For once in her life, she doesn’t know if she should listen to reason, or trust an emotion she’s never put much credit in. With her life on the line, she can’t afford to be wrong.
Stories have always been important in my life. From skits I made up for my friends while jumping on the trampoline (Moon Prism Power!), to my first full length novel I wrote in 8th grade choir against my teacher's wishes. I am married to a wonder man and we have three very active kids that keep me on my toes. In college I studied Zoology, Biology, Art, and English. I drove my counselor nuts. I finally settled on wanting to be an author like my mom. (Alysia S. Knight--check her out!) 'Curiosity killed the cat' is a good saying for me. I love to figure out how all the pieces of the puzzles fit--whether it be in a book, movie, or real life situation. I like to take what I've learned and weave it into my books.
Michelle. gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to wina PRINT or eBOOK of ALICE GAMES.(Open internationally for eBook, US only for print.)DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT WITH AN EMAIL ON THE PROFILE? No problem. LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL IT TO crystal@crystal-collier.com WITH YOUR SCREEN ALIAS.
You have until Tuesday, May 1st at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on May 2nd, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE
1.I'm a certified falconer. 2. I was seriously studying to be a Manga artist when I was 18 years old. 3. The first time I saw Jurassic Park, I was eight, in a dark basement, alone, at Crystal's house!
So sleuths, which is the lie? What's the worst advice you've ever received? What's your current life tug o war? Do you like fairy tale mashups?
Isn't that pretty much how you feel about life? I found myself thinking today, "Oh well she only has 3 kids, so, you know." Ugh. I'm that mom. But there's some truth to it. Every time we add a new thing to our lives, there's an adjustment period, and it feels for a short time like we're going to lose our minds.
On that note, I'm here to lighten your mood and take some of the stress off--because heaven knows I need it too!
Feeling a little beat up?
Take a load off.
Put on some feel good jams and groove!
Break out your super powers
Find joy in the moment
And when things don't work out, don't be afraid to retreat to a safe place.
On a related note, how about the IWSG question for the month: How do you celebrate when you achieve a writing goal/finish a story?
I go out to eat. Yup. That's the truth of it--or I leave the kids behind and go for a victory lap/drive. Oh, and I always post about it ALL over social media.
Last month, Bethany Kaczmarek, editor extraordinaire, offered a first chapter edit and shared two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win.
The game:
1.I have a significant fear of waxed mustaches. As in, I close my eyes and back away rather than deal with them. 2. I write best when I'm in a room that's between 45 and 55 degrees Fahrenheit. 3. I once put my sister's contact in her eye for her--with my spit.
The lie: #1. Bethany doesn't fear mustached. She thinks those are schnazzy--unless they're underneath crazy, unkempt eyebrows. Those? She will make an excuse and leave, do business over the phone, or do anything she can think of to politely get away from.
There is no giveaway this month, regrettably, because instead of being on social media, I've been feeding a baby her first solid foods, hosting family in my home for 2 weeks, and preparing for two family birthdays. Oh, and writing! *cheers*
What big accomplishment have you made this month? Any parenting blunders you want to share? What are you boxing out in your person death match?
The last five months have flown by. I had a baby, celebrated half our family birthdays, survived the holidays, had surgery (yuck), took a 2.5 week road trip across the country, and FINALLY got the kids back on a routine that includes school.
Do you know what the best part of all that was? The 8 days spent in the car.
You laugh, but it's true. For 8 days I had no choice but to take it easy and talk with my family. For eight days I couldn't stress about cleaning the house, online obligations, holiday prep, school, or making meals.
Those were 8 days of heaven.
More than that, the views out the window were amazing and constantly changing. They reawakened a desire to get out and see the world, to get out and live. (I'm told this enhances your prowess as a writer anyway, so why not?)
That's about as much "Valentines" as you'll get out of me this month. ;)
One of my bucket list locations is Ireland. Have you ever wanted to see Ireland? Been to Ireland? After my relaxing trip, it was seriously tempting to schedule another getaway. It's not quite a reality with a 4 month old baby and toddler in the house, but one day soon. What could make a trip even better? If it was a WRITING RETREAT!
And guess what?
Ta da!
One of my editor buddies, Bethany Kaczmarek, will be teaching and editing at this July conference. (July 8-15) That would be reason enough for me to go...if I could get away from the babies. It's definitely an experience not to be missed. Registration is open, but will close as soon as the spots are filled. (And what better timing with tax returns coming in the door? I mean, is there a better investment for expanding your craft, AND having an AMAZING adventure?)
On a related note, how about the IWSG question for the month: What do you love about the genre you write in most often?
So, so many things, but mostly the ability to go somewhere completely unique without going anywhere. I'm totally an escapist through my reading/writing.
And now, because she's epic like that, Bethany kindly offered to give away a small editing package to promote the Ireland tour for one lucky reader. Meet Bethany: Bethany Kaczmarek is the author of the contemporary romance novel, STRAINS OF SILENCE, as well as a fairy-tale/mythology mashup currently enticing publishers. A professional editor, Bethany is the founder of A Little Red Ink Editing Services, which she and her sister have run for four years. As an editor, she’s worked with best-selling and award-winning authors as well as beginners, and her clients have bestowed this title upon her: "The first chapter wizard." She is one of three ACFW Editor of the Year finalists, and is also Conference Awards Director for Realm Makers, where she reviews many of the best-loved speculative fiction novels each year.
At heart, Bethany considers herself a sojourner. So far, she’s just explored Earth, but her love for adventure and old stories makes her yearn for a chance to wander in other realms. Which is why she’s stoked about wandering through a faerie forest in Ireland with other imaginative types. Bethany moved to Wisconsin this summer, and she thought cheese would be the death of her in one of two ways: Either she'd eat it until her dairy allergy killed her, or she'd die from sorrow, watching her family eat all the cheese they wanted. But hope prevailed. She's allergic to the cow PROTEIN--the whey. And guess what everyone eats up there? Cheese CURDS. They are amazing, regular or deep fried, and her cheese-lovery is alive again. She is a happy girl.
Bethany. gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to wina full first chapter edit, up to 12 double-spaced, industry standard pages.(Open internationally.)DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT WITH AN EMAIL ON THE PROFILE? No problem. LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL IT TO crystal@crystal-collier.com WITH YOUR SCREEN ALIAS.
You have until Tuesday, March 6th at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on March 7th, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE
1.I have a significant fear of waxed mustaches. As in, I close my eyes and back away rather than deal with them. 2. I write best when I'm in a room that's between 45 and 55 degrees Fahrenheit. 3. I once put my sister's contact in her eye for her--with my spit.
So sleuths, which is the lie? Have you met Bethany? What's on your bucket list? If you could go on a tour/retreat anywhere in the world, where would you go?
