How to Find Happiness A-Z: N

What do you do for fun?

While home schooling 3 kids, I live a very confined existence. We get out, but not as much as I'd like, so I look to another medium to "get out":

Novels.

Picture courtesy of rocksee

Who else loves sinking into an imaginary world and disappearing from reality? *waving hand in the air* Nothing better. When I was a kid, I was a total book worm and the library was my dojo. In anticipation of summer, I'd buy a stack of books at least 8 to 12 deep, and as soon as I'd consumed the stack, we'd start hitting the library. The NYC library system was a dream come true, and Florida almost killed me until we moved into Orange County with access to the Orlando Library.

My point is, we have to occasionally unplug and regenerate if we want to be successful, balanced, and happy. This great article in the New York Times talks about how taking regular breaks actually improves productivity, creativity, and relieves stress.

I don't know about you, but the times I'm the least happy are when I'm so bogged down by task after task, I don't feel like I can take a spare breath. So then, to find true happiness, we need to establish "novel" time, or hobby/relaxation time. We can't demand too much of ourselves ALL THE TIME.

What is it you do to escape? To get away? To relax? Are you a book worm, and if so what genre takes you far, far away? 

How to Find Happiness A-Z: L

Listen.

What do you hear? I hear a little boy chanting, the scrape of a chair, the hum of a refrigerator, the click of a microwave...

The world around us is filled with confusion and noise. It's hard to tune out the sounds, voices, and electronic devices long enough to even ponder what's going on inside ourselves; but for true happiness, this is an essential element.

Picture courtesy of aresauburn

One of the things that brought me the most happiness as a teen was going out to the yard, sitting on my thinking rock, and watching a sunset or starry night sky. Just listening to and observing nature calmed my heart and gave me the perspective to deal with the crazy crazy of each school day, relationship issues, and the stresses of finding my place. Listening, or not listening to all the other insistent voices out there helped me find my center.

True happiness also stems out of the relationships we build. Do you have a friend who loves to call you, but all they ever talk about is themselves? How deep is that friendship? Do you eventually tire of that person? My advice is, don't be that person. Listening, truly listening to others requires a certain amount of investment. It means we have to care about the person in order to care about what is said. It means we have to be willing to tune out all the other noises and focus. Now I admit, when my six year old tells me the exact same thing for the fiftieth time, it's difficult to want to pay attention, but the most profound things come out of that kid's mouth. Caring about others adds a deeper dimension to ourselves. Deeper satisfaction comes from seeking others' happiness before our own. That's why parenthood is such a noble/maturing/humbling/satisfying thing.

My husband's first boss in NYC was an "art-EE-st"! The guy carried so much ego you couldn't come within twenty feet of him without being knocked off your feet. He also couldn't keep employees to save his life. Wonder why. *shaking head* He was so concerned about being right and perfection that he never paused to consider people had "feelings". Everyone quit within a week, and he blamed it on them--thinking they were all just lemons. (My hubby made it 6 months, by the way--poor guy.)

I call that an extreme case of self-preoccupation.

My neighbor in NYC was the reverse. She immediately came over to meet us when we moved in. She sincerely asked about our lives every time we saw each other, and I knew I could call on her if needed--which, it was. As my husband and I climbed into the car to go to the hospital, me eight months pregnant and extremely sick, we had no idea what we'd do with our two young children. She came running down her steps and invited the kids to stay with her family as long as we needed. She was "listening", or paying attention, and to this day my heart swells with love and gratitude when I think of her. Talk about a true friend.

Self reflection: So which are you more like? The ego-driven genius, or the invested neighbor? (Please do not answer these questions in the comments.)

Do you have a "thinking rock", or quiet place to ponder? And what is it that really draws you to people? 

It Takes Courage

...to be different. (And I'm not talking about something like, "Dude, bet you've never seen this before. Check it out, toenail ring!") I'm talking a lifestyle or set of morals that the world may label as "lame", or "outdated". Who are they to judge? And while we're talking about this mysterious "they", who is that anyway?

One of my favorite WIP's (Work In Progress) is about a teen who's grown up in the "projects", or slums of New York City. While living in the city, I was astonished by the culture of government dependence and generational poverty. It was almost impossible for these people to see beyond their Section 8 housing and Foodstamps, to realize there was a better world out there--one where they didn't have to live in cockroach infested/frequently-flooding apartments, one where they could obtain gainful employment, one where the value of life wasn't dictated by power companies who would turn off your power in the middle of a heatwave, but by your own determination to excel. The problem was, most people got stuck in the city because it was too expensive to get out. My heart ached for them. Didn't they understand there was a better world out there?

There were, however, a handful of individuals who caught a glimpse. These were the hope of the future, the ones who would break the cycle of poverty against formidable odds, the ones who would become something.

My main character, Alaska (aka Ally), is one such individual who has lived through the grime. She's a fighter whose sights are set on a better life--not just for herself, but for her mom and little brother. She lives a strict moral code that her friends don't understand, one she created because of the people around her--to avoid some of the pitfalls they succumbed to, things that would keep her from her ultimate goal. She's different, weird, and sticks out. I adore Ally because of her courage. She's my hero.

For years we've been home schooling. Some people understand our reasons, but others turn their noses up and scoff. How dare we flout societal expectation and do our own thing? Don't we realize we're handicapping our children by keeping them out of the "cookie-cutter" school system? Don't we realize how socially damaged our kids will be from learning in a loving environment with educators who's most important goal is their success? Don't we know that sheltering our children from damaging influences will ultimately make for morally-different and confident people? Don't we know that no kid should be mature enough or educated well enough to graduate High School by the age of 14? I mean, how dare we!

My point is this:

People will tell you your work isn't good enough. They'll say you're going about it the wrong way. They'll insist that you have to follow a formula and do things by a predetermined method. If you don't do things their way, they'll tell you you're strange, or stupid, or wrong. The truth is, as long as you get the result you want, does it matter how you got there?

Courage, friends. Don't be discouraged by the voices out there. Do your best, and don't be afraid to go against the "norm".

Decisions: dream or die?

I've made the choice a hundred times. The first time resulted in working for a music/video production company. The second time meant learning how to be a studio singer. The third time meant overcoming my fear of intricate computer programs. The fourth time required moving to New York City...

So why is it so hard to make that decision, yet again? Maybe because this time I know it's serious, that other people will be involved, that I'm going to have to fight for my artistic vision or worry about industry scavengers trying to embed their own seal...

If you're new to my blog, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. Well, that pretty link on the side there, Immortal the Musical, that's my baby and it finally has a producer.

After a brief hiatus we are about to go into discussions--the scary kind: the kind where we look at that ginormous endeavor (the one we've spent the last 8 years of our lives building,) and figure out how to chop the pie.

Who will be doing what? Who will be paid what? Who will retain the rights for this or that?

*gulp*

When you write a book no one quibbles over lyric royalties vs libretto rights. Granted, these are my shaking knees speaking. I have no idea how this will play out. I only know this is the beginning, the real beginning. There will be no going back. No second guesses. Past the point of no return.

Oh boy. I think I need some muenster to settle my nerves.

Okay professional nail biters, how do you deal with moments like this?

More Awards!!

Recently on facebook we held a poll for which song from Immortal the Musical should be made into a music video. Here's our winner! (Now go "like" it on facebook!)

On to the real business for today.

Continuing from last week... Thank you Lady Jai for this award! You rock.

The rules for the Stylish Blogger Award:

• Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award


Share things about yourself
Award recently discovered great bloggers
Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award

I'm good with all but part 2 there. Things about me...

1. I LOVE CHEESE. That's an easy one. 

2. I have about fifteen nicknames, but the most common are Chicken and Crystal the Pistol. 

3. Unlike my hubby, I vividly remember about 60% of my childhood. (Thus the YA/MG writing angle.) 

4. I learned how to sing by mimicking Sarah Brightman, aided by 4 yrs of voice lessons, and hindered by one of my brothers. (I have 5.) I couldn't open my mouth without him storming, stomping, screaming, threatening. He's probably the reason I persisted--the whole "underdog will conquer" mentality. Incidentally, he's fine with it now.

5. I never had a "clique" or group. My collection of best friends come from very different backgrounds, ethnicities and even countries. (Russia, China, Columbia, and Haiti to name a few.) 

6. My favorite and least favorite place to live was New York City. 

7. Home schooling my 3 kids is the greatest challenge I have yet faced. I waiver on a daily basis, but it's what they need--especially in light of our propensity to move.

8. I quit piano lessons because I was sick of playing other people's music. Six months later (at 13) I wrote down my first composition. Who knew that quitting lessons would one day lead to a FULL BLOWN MUSICAL!!!

Enough about me. Now on to the deserving subjects of today's post!

1. The Lit Express 

2. Eternal Moonshine of a Daydreaming Mind 
3. Ghost Horses Gallop for the Earth!
4. A Writers Work is Never Done
5. Dunhaven Place
6. Girl Unpublished
7. Carole Anne Carr 
8. Freckle Head
9. Dark Angel Fiction
10. Clarissa Draper
11. Damsel in a Dirty Dress
12. Heather Justesen
13. Ink Spells
14. Fabulous Reads
15. Jenni James