Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Back to School with a Vengeance!

Are you ready for school season? I hear teachers groaning, parents cheering, and kids shrugging. (Wait, can you hear kids shrug? I guess if they're wearing noisy clothes...) Anyhow, I'm one of those people whose lives gets 500X more complicated during the school year (thank you home schooling!) so I thought maybe a few of us could use a laugh...like me. 

Source


Source

 

And now how about if we give away some awesomeness?

Last week Alexia Chamberlynn shared with us Black Magic and Mojitos, along with two truths and a lie. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing for the chance to win her eBook!  

Alexia's Game:


1. Alexia is an adept swordswoman and wishes she could carry her katana everywhere.
2. She is certified as an equine (horse) massage therapist.
3. She discovered she has a fear of heights while on the Eiffel Tower.

THE LIE: #1. Alexia doesn't own a sword, though she wishes she did. Owning and knowing how to use one is on her bucket list.

Way to guess everyone! And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Congrats, Shannon! 

And now for this week's feature... 

Rachel Emerson is resigned to live as a spinster. Her parents keep her shameful secret, and her only brother, Seth, vanished mere days after witnessing her rape, taking her dishonor with him and giving them all an alibi for their grief. But none of that matters. Appearances are useless if she can’t bear the touch of a man.

Jacob Evans welcomes pain as much as he seeks to escape it. The graves of his wife and child remind him of his sins every day. When Lawrence Emerson offers him a job and a chance to move west, Jacob permits himself a fresh start. But letting go of his past is only an illusion. Lawrence’s sweet, shy daughter captures Jacob’s heart and provides him a perfect tool for self-torment. 

Despite painful lessons of the past, history soon threatens to repeat itself, and as Jacob’s love for Rachel grows, so does his agony. Giving his precious new wife the life she deserves might cost him the very thing he values most—her.

ON SALE, NOW THROUGH SEPTEMBER 17th for $0.99!

Get your copy HERE.

Ready to meet the author? 

Native Texan Melissa Maygrove is a wife, mother, nurse, freelance editor, and romance writer. When she's not busy caring for her tiny nursery patients or shuttling teenagers back and forth to after-school activities, she's hunched over her laptop, complicating the lives of her imaginary friends and playing matchmaker. Melissa loves books with unpretentious characters and unforgettable romance, and she strives to create those same kinds of stories for her readers.

You might run across Melissa eating warm mozzarella on pizza, or Brie on water crackers.
Melissa gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out the lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win a signed paperback copy of PRECIOUS ATONEMENT (US residents only), or an eBook (for international winners).  

You have until Tuesday, September 1 at 1 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answers on September 2.

TRUTH OR LIE

1. Melissa once met astronaut Alan Shepard.
2. She loves pan-fried cabbage.
3. She's been present at the birth of triplets, twice!
So sleuths, which is the lie?  Do you have a favorite back to school joke or meme? What does back to school mean for you? Freedom? Stress? Something else?

74 comments:

  1. I love the first pic and the one with the science teacher on the playground - too funny!

    Hmm, I think the second one is the lie....

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  2. I like the one with mom prying the kid out of the van.
    I'm going to say the second one is the lie.

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  3. Love today's funnies! :) I'm not in school, and I don't have kids, so I'd probably never realize school season was upon us if it weren't for all those school supply sales, haha.

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  4. Oh, that brings back memories. The nicest thing about homeschooling was that I could arrange the schedule the way I wanted - like taking two weeks off for spring break instead of one so we could plant the garden.

    My favorite back-to-school funny is the old Staples commercial.
    'It's the most wonderful tiiiime of the year.' LOL

    Thanks for hosting me, Crystal. Good luck, everybody. :)

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  5. Thank you for making me laugh today.

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  6. Hi again, Melissa! Oh my...I'll say the lie is #3.

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  7. Hi Crystal - first day of school looks like a visit to A&E once he lets go of the car .. could be tricky! Fun photos though .. and Shcool ... too cool ... I think being at the birth of one set of triplets would be enough for me ... so #3 ...

    Cheers Hilary

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  8. Good luck with the school season!

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  9. LOL I love the little kid during the last five minutes of his exam. We've all been there, kiddo. :D
    Hope the school year gets off to a smooth start for both you and your kids.

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  10. Funny. ^_^
    It barely registers that it's back to school time being in no-man's land like I am. There are less kids running around where I work - which is always good. :)

    Hmm, I'm going with number 1 for the lie - I mean, some people like cabbage - so I hear. ;)

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  11. My kids went back August 12. Except for complaining about being exhausted from getting up at the butt crack of dawn, things are going pretty good. Now the house is silent as a tomb unless I crank my music to full blast.

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  12. I was one of those kids that hated going back to school. The scene with the mom dragging the boy out the car, that was me and my mom, once. It was so dramatic me and my mom both remember it:) Good-luck with school duty. But you are awesome, so no worries. I think the lie is #3.

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  13. Congrats, Shannon! I've actually been eyeing some katanas on Amazon. YES. You can buy swords on Amazon. Incredible :)

    Crystal, I feel ya on back to school... though my son was getting super bored towards the end of the summer so he was ready to get back and see his friends and stuff.

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  14. I know my older sister is ready for school to start. Over the summer, her home as become the gathering place for all the neighborhood kids, so she's ready for a few hours of peace and quiet each day.

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  15. I'm definitely not looking forward to school starting. Well, okay, I love my job, but the summer always feels too short and it's toward this end of it that I start to relax and enjoy it...and then it's back to teaching.

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  16. When my girls were in school, I used to panic because it meant I'd have to deal with another set of teachers and there would go more of my 'me' time.
    I'd also say #1 statement about Melissa is the lie, but if it's not, how nice would that be to talk to an astronaut - I loved visiting NASA in Florida and if my grades in science had been better, I would have wanted to be on one of those rockets or even the space station. . .Thanks for visiting my WEP entry!

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  17. ew. school. lol I say #2 is the lie! and I love the memes haha

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  18. Ha! Funny.
    As far as the lies go then I think I will go with three. :)

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  19. My little guy has already been back for three weeks now and he loves it. Cheers for school in our house! (At least this year!) As for the lie, hm, I'm going with #2. No one can honestly like cabbage!

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  20. Congrats to Shannon for winning! It's also great to see Melissa's book everywhere. I predict it's going to be a hit! Those comics were a riot, Crystal! Thanks so much for the laughs, and have a great week. :)

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  21. My kids were actually happy to go back to school. I'm sure though, that by the end of the year, they'll be happy to get out! (The school street sign is funny!)

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  22. I don't have any kids yet but I do miss the feeling of going back to school. One thing I don't miss is the morning traffic! All of a sudden there are so many more cars! xoxo

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  23. Oddly enough, when I was a kid, I always looked forward to going back to school, and when my own children were kids, I hated to see them leave me to go back to school. (Okay, so maybe that isn't ENTIRELY true... could be, I hated the return to the early morning chaos involved with getting them all up, fed, and out the door.

    Okay, as for which one is the lie? I love cabbage, especially pan-fried in butter with carraway seeds, and buttered noodles...but not all that many people do, so I'll say #2 is the fib.

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  24. Good for you, Shannon!

    I'm so happy not to be going back to school anymore. The image of the mom pulling the kid out of the car? Switch that around and you've got my situation!

    Melissa hates pan fried cabbage. That has to be the lie. :-)

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  25. School has been over in this household for a long time. Thank goodness.

    I'm going to guess #2 is the lie for Melissa.

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  26. love the science teacher and last five min of exam - but they're all funny! back to school we go!! and congrats to Melissa!! lovely!
    im guessing the triplets is just once. (#3)

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  27. Haha, love the pictures. I have to say I don't miss going to school (but I loved university!). :P

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  28. The science teacher one was particularly funny. :)

    Congrats to Melissa! I'll guess #3 as the lie.

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  29. My 22 yr old is a medical student so school on in my household!

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  30. HA! Thank you the laughs, Crystal, I did need them!
    And I bet a lot that #3 is true, so maybe #1 is the lie?

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  31. As a former teacher, I used to dread fall, but now that I write full time, it's becoming my favorite season. Congrats to Melissa.
    Susan Says

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  32. I remember some excitement around back to school when my kids were younger but I have never, ever wanted the summer to end. If I had it to do over I would have home schooled.
    Now I dislike the beginning of the school year because I have so much less time with my grandkids.

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  33. I'm saying #3 going on theory she's been present more than twice:)

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  34. No #3 can't be true surely! I too like pan-fried cabbage as long as it's mixed with onion , soy sauce and seaweed!

    You'll be looking forward to the school season no doubt Crystal. We don't have the same schedule as you guys. Our big break is over Christmas.

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  35. Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.

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  36. Number three. And thanks for the back to school laughs. My kids have been in school all week. So far they like it. So far I love it.

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  37. Congrats to Shannon.

    I think #2 is the lie.

    Students return on Monday, but I went back to work yesterday.

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  38. Love the science teacher on the playground. Have you seen the one where the teacher doesn't want to go back to school? I see those everywhere.

    Lie.. #2...

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  39. I didn't like it when my children went back to school. Summers with them were glory days of tennis and swimming and bowling and reading and movies.

    Love,
    Janie

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  40. Wishing Melissa only the best with her new book :)

    I tried home-schooling a few years ago when #1 Son was in Kindergarten....

    He and I have never been the same since, so I have a TON of respect for anyone who can handle Homeschooling - and not jump off a really low, ground-floor door stoop:)

    PS: Thanks for the offer, Crystal, and I'll shoot you an email:)

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  41. Our schools went back this week and it's been remarkably quiet around here! Not so fun prising a 6-year-old out of bed though. I think I'll go for #2 as the lie, if only because it doesn't sound particularly appealing to me!

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  42. I'm awed at Mom's who do homeschooling. Oh, I'd rather have my kids around like summer vacation all the time, but teaching them...Lol! I don't think they'd ever really listen ;) Congrats, Melissa! And I'll go for number 2 as the lie. The smell of frying cabbage alone would make me shiver!

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  43. As a teacher I'm groaning, but as a parent, I'm cheering. I'm very conflicted.

    And...Yay, Melissa!! :)

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  44. What a delightful post, much needed distraction. Greetings!

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  45. I loved the cartoon about the science teacher. And my daughter is dreading going back to school. :)

    BTW, we just got back from a quick vacation in Wisconsin, where we ate a lot of cheese!

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  46. Thankfully, back to school season means nothing to me because I'm old and way past classes and kids going to classes. (Whew) HA, love your comment about hearing kids shrug and the "noisy clothes." Thanks for the school-related funnies, and best wishes as you homeschool, and you and your kidlets get back into the swing of things!

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  47. The science teacher one cracked me up. Love it.

    I already have my signed copy, so I will refrain from showing off my Melissa knowledge.

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  48. Back to school? What are you talking about?
    Some of us never left school. LOL
    I think the lie is no#2. Pure guesswork. As per usual.

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  49. Love the pics. Thanks for the laughs! :) Thanks also for the intro to Melissa! Best wishes for a great school year!

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  50. Yay, thank you!

    I'm going to say #2 is the lie on this one.

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  51. Thanks for the funnies! The weeks are whizzing by.

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  52. As the working conditions, the teacher evaluation process, and the focus on testing TO THE EXCLUSION OF ALL ELSE (my old school eliminated recess and cut phys ed time by 50% this year), I am immensely glad that I hung up my teaching cap and will not be returning to school with the kids. Phew!

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  53. Crystal... I LOVE the funny pictures... they made me laugh. School stresses me out with making sure I have clean clothes, healthy lunches, snacks... bed time antics and waking them up... I could go on but I won't... Can Summer start over again? ♡

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  54. I am guessing number 3 is the lie. And those back to school pics are great. My fav is the cat :)

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  55. Love those funny pics, especially the face on the little boy with minutes left on his test!!!! I'm late to the party here, but I'll guess #1 is the lie.

    And Congratulations to Melissa. Her book sounds amazing!!

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  56. I'll guess no.2...
    Love the scientis joke. The best part about back to school is all the stationery!

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  57. I loved back to school until I got to high school—all that new stuff! What's not to like?
    “Why science teachers should not be given playground duty.” Too funny. I know quite a few scientists, and I can see that happening.

    I’m going to guess #3 is Melissa’s lie? Good luck with the new school year, Crystal!

    VR Barkowski

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  58. I love those pictures; they're so funny! And they definitely relate to what I'm feeling right now about school. I love teaching, but I don't love grading papers, faculty meetings, or early morning classes, sighhh... I didn't really get to enjoy my summer, due to my cross-country move, so I wish I had more time to relax before going back.

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  59. All back to school means for me is actually having to fight with people to get pens and notepads at the store. :P Seriously, I needed some while shopping a few days ago and that was the most crowded I'd ever seen that aisle. Hope it all goes well for you and your family.

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  60. Love the back to school jokes. I don't have kids, but I work at a music and dance studio- so everything does change once school is in session and the schedules change drastically (summer has camps and lots going on during the day).

    Hmmm- I am going with 2 as the lie. Great to learn about this book. Thanks for sharing. :)
    ~Jess

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  61. My sons are finally done with school, except my oldest is off, teaching in Kazakhstan!!! And I teach college lit part time so September means get back to teaching for me! I will need to boundary off my writing time during the fall.

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  62. Back to school for me means students, caseload management and so much testing. But, I love what I do. I know I'm too late to this game, but I'll say the lie is that she loves pan fried cabbage. I always go with the tamest fact as being the lie :-)

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  63. Wow, that's a cool think to have on your bucket list.

    I know a few parents that are happy the kids are back in school. :)

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  64. I think the lie is #1. Pan-fried cabbage is sorta a Texan thing (at least, I like it a lot and know a few natives who do as well). Anyway. School! My kiddo was excited to go, I was excited for the minuscule amount of more free time, and I was more upset first day than she was. Got no hug from that child, she just wanted me to go. Props on homeschooling! I do not have the patience for that!

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  65. I'm here for the second time and don't know why? Déjà vu to you. :-)

    Anna from Elements of Writing

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  66. LOL on the pics. :) I'm going to miss summer so much. I love everything fall, but when a season passes, a part of me aches. Time sure does fly!

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  67. I'm guessing #2!

    My daughter had her first day of kindergarten on Monday. She seemed excited to go. Glad she's still at the age of enjoying that stuff.

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  68. LOL I feel like that kid with 5 minutes of exam time left. (I have to write about 10k words by Monday.)

    Mmm... I think #2 is the lie. The other two are unlikely enough to be true. :-D

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  69. I'm going to go with #3.

    I'm excited, stressed, and feeling free, all at once. I've been home-schooling my kids for . . . well, since they were too young to really "school" but we read together, counted together, sang together. It's been at least 12 years by standard school years with a standard start (although I really do think the earlier stuff counts a great deal). My oldest is going off to running start, which is a dual credit program with community colleges in our state. She'll be living at home, taking community college classes, and doing some extra reading and writing for me (I'm currently the meanest mom she knows, but she loves me anyway). My youngest is going to try high school for three classes, take two classes at our home-school co-op, and still somehow get three classes of work done for me. We'll see how that works.
    And I'm teaching three classes at our home-school co-op and preparing lesson plans each day.
    So, I'm excited, stressed, and yet also looking forward to the freedom of our newer schedules this year. As always, I'm taking it one day and one week at a time.

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  70. I have a shirt we've nicknamed "Loud shirt" and you could hear me shrug. I feel for the kids and the teachers.

    I think number 2 is the lie, but that might be because I'm not a huge fan of veggies.

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  71. Congrats to Shannon! She's one of our favorite people. Knowing her in person certainly helps.

    No kids here. So as all of the parents get up extra early and have to buy school supplies and all that I just kick back in my chair and say not this year, world. Not this year.

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  72. I miss the back-to-school season (as a student!). Fresh clothes/sneakers, brand-new notebooks and pencils. Ahhhh! Hope it's all going smoothly for you and your kiddos!

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  73. I used to dread this time of year as a kid myself, but now that we've got our first kid starting school, I'm suddenly loving it:)

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Hit me with your cheese!