Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

8 Questions You Should Ask Before Making Magic & IWSG

Do you ever wish you could snap your fingers and something awesome would happen?


Me too, but that's not how life works. For every action there is a reaction. I think often we just want things to work out, because we wish them to--not because we put in the work necessary to see success. Magic is like that. We want something for nothing.

But there are always consequences--both bad and good, so before you jump into anything, ask these 9, not 8, careful questions:


1. Have I made a good plan of execution? 
(It's best to think around our efforts before jumping in full storm.)


2, Have I examined my surroundings and prepared for...possible disaster?
(You can plan all you like, but no man is an island. Your choices will affect those around you.)


3. Have I asked for outside help/feedback to avoid frustration over stupid/obvious mistakes?
(Nose against the wallpaper syndrome. We all experience it.)


4. Am I prepared to try again if I utterly fail?
(Failure is the best teacher.)


5. Am I ready for the backlash (feedback) that is guaranteed to blow me over (good or bad)?
(No part of life happens in a vacuum. We have to realize that when we make a choice, we make ourselves vulnerable to the response. We can't let that part taint or damage us. It goes with the territory.)


6. Am I prepared to repurpose my efforts if necessary? 
(We may find what we want isn't really what we want, but leads us to something unexpected and wonderful. Or it may just teach us a lesson we needed to learn.)


7. Are there influences outside my power that I've not accounted for?
(Stuff happens. When failure occurs, because it always does on the path to success, don't let it break you.)


8. Am I documenting the steps leading to success?
(If you want to recreate an amazing cake, you keep the recipe. Recording how you come to your successes is often as important as the successes themselves.)


9. Am I willing to abandon ship if it doesn't work out?
(There is a point at which the cost of an adventure is too much--emotionally, physically, financially. Do you have a hard walk-away trigger?)

This has been an answer to the IWSG question for the month: What pitfalls would you warn other writers to avoid on their publication journey?

Huge thanks for hosting
Alex Cavanaugh
Erika Beebe, Sandra Hoover, 
Susan Gourley, and Lee Lowery!

Last month Ellen Jacobson shared MURDER AT THE MARINA along with two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win an eBook.

The game:

1. I once dressed up as Lt. Uhura from Star Trek for a scifi/fantasy convention.
2. I refuse to eat anything that has a wooden stick in the middle, like popsicles.  
3. I'm allergic to tetanus shots and try to avoid stepping on rusty nails at all costs. 

The lie: #1. From Ellen: I've never been to a scifi/fantasy convention. If I had, I don't think I'd look good in one of those short skirts that the women in the original Star Trek series wore, so I probably would have dressed up as a tribble instead. For some reason, the thought of putting a wooden stick in my mouth freaks me out. Bad childhood experience with a tongue depressor, maybe? If I do have a Popsicle, I eat all around the edges and throw the middle part away. I had a bad reaction to a tetanus shot as a child and haven't had one since.

And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Congrats, Cathrina!

And speaking of magic, how about a magical story? Check it out:


Jasmyn blames herself for her baby sister's death, and she's confident her family blames her too. Instead of returning home, Jasmyn joins her coven to focus on developing her grandmother's magic. Her parents' grief is too much to bear, as is a home without Katarina. 

Logan understands Jasmyn's pain and respects her desire to live apart, but when he finds a way to undo Katarina’s death, he goes in search of his estranged sister. But his mission is interrupted -- an enemy clan of sorcerers claims Logan as one of their own, and a mysterious bond of an ancient brotherhood takes hold of him. 

When an ancient rivalry reawakens between Logan's clan and Jasmyn’s coven, the violence it unearths threatens all they hold dear. And when opposing magical forces pull at the strands holding them together, even the tightest family bonds can break. 

Buy your copy now on Amazon.

Ready to meet the author?

Tanya is a dreamer, writer, intergalactic superhero, and a mother of two little aliens posing as human children. Whenever she's not attending a piano lesson, softball game, soccer match, or jiu-jitsu event, she writes novels and short stories. You might find her running a 5K in the morning, drinking a Java Chip Frap in the middle of the day, or taking long walks in North Bergen in search of freshly baked bread and café con leche. You can find her other work at www.tanyamiranda.com

You might run across Tanya anywhere enjoying an excellent Asiago sliced thin with fig spread on a ritz cracker.

Tanya gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to win the 2 eBooks of the THE FAMILY RELICS series(Open internationally.) DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT OR AN EMAIL ON YOUR PROFILE? No problem. EMAIL crystal@crystal-collier.com to enter.

You have until Tuesday, September 4 at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on September 5th, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE

1. I drink white vinegar straight from the bottle. 
2. I have dozens of analog clocks around my house. 
3. I could never build anything "cool" with LEGOs.

So sleuths, which is the lie? What important lessons have you learned in your journey for success? Have you met Tanya? Do you read paranormal or fantasy?

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

7 Tips to Make Your Summer a Success, IWSG, + Win a Beach Book


Are you ready? I'm so ready.

It's the season for beach reads, vacation, and kicking it with a capital "K". To start us off right, here are a few things to keep in mind:

1. Plan your road trips wisely.

2. It's okay if plans go amiss, as long as you make your destination in the end.

3. Enjoy each moment to the fullest.

4. Take things slow.

5. Don't get overwhelmed.

6. And HAVE FUN!

7. But remember, you can't take it home with you, so make good memories.


And last of all, the IWSG question for the month. I know some of you will spend the months dreading the lack of writing you get done, but keep in mind that life goes fast. Enjoy each moment.

The question: What's harder for you to come up with, book titles or character names?

Titles, though I usually don't struggle with either. Titles can get sorted out by a publisher...or critique group.

Huge thanks for hosting
Alex Cavanaugh
Beverly Stowe McClure,
Tyrean Martinson, and Ellen @ The Cynical Sailor!

Last month Judy Corry shared MEET ME THERE along with two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win a signed print copy.

The game:

1. I broke my toe doing a cartwheel into my friend's back.
2. I lived in 4 different houses on the same street.
3. I speak fluent Italian.

The lie: #3. From Judy: I speak a little German. (My dad taught it.) But my husband is the one who is fluent in Italian and lived there for two years before we were married. We wrote emails back and forth during that time, so Italian has a special place in my heart. This is why I made the main character in my book DON'T FORGET ME half-Italian.)

And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Congrats, Christine!

Today is all about summer, eh? And today I've got an awesome summer read for you (clean romance for the pool side). Check it out:


Ethan Walters has no time for distractions like romance. Not if he's going to have the brilliant medical career he's always dreamed of. But when he's given a trip to a theme park resort as a college graduation present, he can't exactly say no. Even if Samantha--the one girl with the power to dismantle his goals--is tagging along.

Samantha Diederik has managed to avoid her high society mother’s manipulations since the woman moved to Europe. Now she’s back and pressuring Sam to move to New York with her. With that battle on the horizon, Sam proceeds with a vacation with her brother and his roommate. She’s crushed on Ethan for years. They've only met online, but their hours-long conversations are the highlight of her week. Now she has a chance to find out if the cyber magic she's felt with him will translate to real life.

And wow, does it ever--with sparks flying! Now all she has to do is find a way to fight off her mother's machinations while convincing Ethan she won’t destroy his dreams.

Buy your copy for 99 cents now on Amazon.

Ready to meet Donna K. Weaver?




Award-winning author, wife, mother, grandmother, Harry Potter geek, Army veteran, karate black belt, and online gamer.

She loves Muenster cheese, but usually only get it when she attends those luncheons with sandwich trays. (Poor thing! She just needs to come to my house!)

Donna gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to win the winner's choice of an AUDIOBOOK or EBOOK of SWING VOTE. (Open internationally.) DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT WITH AN EMAIL ON THE PROFILE? No problem. LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL crystal@crystal-collier.com to enter.

You have until Tuesday, July 3rd at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on July 4th, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE

1. I was interviewed on TV just before the release of the last Harry Potter Book, Deathly Hallows.
2. I started school in Greece.
3. I flunked the second grade.

So sleuths, which is the lie? What are you most looking forward to about summer? Have any great tips for making summer rock? Do you like clean romance stories?

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Do You Love Your Mother? & IWSG

You have a mom. I have a mom. Everyone has a mom.


Not all mothers are created equal, but generally speaking, no matter who she is, she wants what's best for you. Before I was a mom, I was a driven, multi-talented individual who was going to take the world by storm. For 10 years after I became a mother, I clung to those aspirations.

Hollow aspirations?
But things happen--moving to NYC and having no option but to home school (I was NEVER going to home school), chronic sicknesses (being down and out for 3+ years really takes a toll), being far from extended family and forced to rely on my individual family alone...

I found the joy in nurturing and raising children. I was pouring all my creativity into home schooling and mothering.

My books were part of my young girls aspirations, and finally getting a few of them out there felt amazing...for a moment. Being published blew my mind. Literally. It contributed to the stress that kept me down during my chronic illness. I was already juggling so much to keep a household and 3 separate grade curriculums going, and to those who haven't experienced it, publication has the potential to take over your entire life. Forever. Because it never ends.

Ah, the lessons we can't learn except in doing...

For the time being, I'm on a publishing hiatus. I admit, occasionally there is a twinge of jealousy when I read about other people's successes, but these are the best years of my life, and I plan to enjoy them to the fullest.


After all, when I get to the end of this life, my greatest successes won't be my abundance of novels. It will be my children.

Even the bad moments.
This mother's day, be sure to say thank you to your mother. You never know what she gave up on your behalf. If she's not around, pass on stories of her goodness to the next generation. And if you're like me, stuck in the middle,


Keep at it.

On a related note, how about the IWSG question for the month:  It’s spring! Does this season inspire you to write more than others, or not?

So when you have wicked allergies, spring is not the most productive season. (But it's awesome for sinus infections.) =P

Huge thanks for hosting
Alex Cavanaugh
E.M.A. Timar, J. Q. Rose,
C.Lee McKenzie, and Raimey Gallant!

Last month, Michelle R. Reid shared ALICE GAMES along with two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win a print copy or eBook.

The game:

1. I'm a certified falconer.
2. I was seriously studying to be a Manga artist when I was 18 years old.
3. The first time I saw Jurassic Park, I was eight, in a dark basement, alone, at Crystal's house! 

The lie: #1. She specialized in raptures in zoology for a time while at college, but never did actually become a falcon pro.

And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Congrats, Tyrean!

Moms, and all of you who read YA, I've discovered a fabulous author whose works are mom approved (aka clean), and fun to boot. Check it out:

A dark Chemistry lab. A fake British accent. It's all fun and games until somebody falls in love.

When sixteen-year-old, Ashlyn Brooks, runs into a sweet British guy in the dark Chemistry lab, she has no idea she's actually sitting in the pitch black room with her longtime rival, Luke Davenport. She also doesn't know that she's stepped into another one of the football captain's pranks. It isn't long before she's sharing things she's never told anyone, and starting to fall for the mysterious guy with a sexy accent who seems to understand her in a way no one ever has before.

When Luke's mom dies the summer before his senior year, he turns to pranking Ashlyn to keep his mind off his loss. But the more he gets to know her, the more he regrets using his fake British accent in the first place. Soon Luke is walking the thin line of keeping his lies a secret and wishing he could tell her that the boy she's falling for is really him.

Meet Me There is a standalone novel in The Ridgewater High series, a collection of simmering YA contemporary romances. If you like sweet romance with ballad-worthy chemistry, swoony kisses and endearing characters then you'll love Judy Corry's latest book.

Buy your copy on Amazon.

Ready to meet the author?


Judy Corry has been addicted to love stories for as long as she can remember. She reads and writes YA & Clean Contemporary Romance because she can't get enough of the feeling of falling in love. She graduated from Southern Utah University in an area that has nothing to do with writing. Some of her favorite things are chick flicks, singing, and playing the piano. She believes in swoon-worthy kisses and happily ever afters.

Judy met her soul mate while in high school, and married him a few years later. She and her husband are raising four beautiful and crazy children in Southern Utah.

You might run across her snacking on cream cheese and Triscuits, or laughing cow swiss cheeses--especially while she's writing! 

Judy gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to win a signed PRINT copy of MEET ME THERE. (US only.) DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT WITH AN EMAIL ON THE PROFILE? No problem. LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL crystal@crystal-collier.com to enter.

You have until Tuesday, June 5th at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on June 6th, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE

1. I broke my toe doing a cartwheel into my friend's back.
2. I lived in 4 different houses on the same street.
3. I speak fluent Italian.

So sleuths, which is the lie? Have you thanked your mother recently? What's one life dream you've given up for a different one? Do you like contemporary stories?

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

7 Ways to Make the Most of Your Summer

It's that time of the year. Kids are out of school. The sun makes regular appearances. Everyone has the urge to get out and enjoy it.

Well, everyone except for me. I'm hunkering down with my air conditioning, refrigerated foods, and a few good books...around the screaming of kids. If you're doing the same, here are a few quick tips to help make your summer stellar: 

1. Who really needs anything more?


2. Hit the pool.


3. Pick summer vacation destinations that make you feel summery.


4. Don't stay out in the sun too long.


5. Don't get in over your head.


6. Try out a new adventure...but preferably of the less dangerous variety.

And 

7. Read a good book, or fifty.


As of this post, I'm cutting back to one post a month until...well, until there's sanity. Wish me luck with home schooling and surviving this pregnancy!


Two weeks ago, Theresa Milstein shared TIME AND CIRCUMSTANCE along with two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win an ebook or print copy.

The game:


1. Right after college, I landed a job as a make a makeup artist at Macy's, Herald Square, New York City. This led to a year doing makeup for a few shows on The Food Network. 

2. During the summer, I worked as a carney in the game booths on Long Island. I hated working the fixed games, though I hated running the sticky cotton candy booth even more.

3. One semester, I interned with a U.S. Congressman in New York, which meant handling a lot of angry phone calls, looking up data, tracking potholes, and attending events.

The lie: #1. 

From Theresa: My sister, Kathleen Brown, actually did some makeup for fellow cast members when she performed plays at a local theater during college. Afterwards, someone recommended her for a makeup gig. She faked it until she made it. Now she gets to do makeup on TV shows (including the Food Network) and movies on a regular basis. She gets to meet celebrities all the time. Pretty cool, huh? However, she does credit me for teaching her how to apply makeup when she was a teen in the first place. 

And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Congrats, Jennifer!

SPEAKING OF SUMMER, now, for a WONDERFUL contemporary you don't want to miss this summer that I LOVED! (I even reviewed it!):

Who would have thought that a teenager could have a successful career creating makeup tutorial videos on YouTube? For Lacey Robbins, this dream has been her reality. An up-and-coming YouTuber, she has thousands of fans and can't wait for the day when her subscriber count reaches the one million mark. And when she is offered a high school internship at On Trend Magazine, she figures that this could be the make it or break it moment.

But sometimes your dream job isn't all that it seems. Her editor is only interested in promoting junk products, and her boss in the Hair and Makeup department introduces her to the larger world of makeup artistry, making her wonder if making tutorials online is all she is meant to do. To top it all off, when the magazine's feature subject, musician Tyler Lance, turns his broodingly handsome smile her way, falling for him could mean losing her fans, forcing her to make a decision: her YouTube life or her real life?

Fans of Zoella's GIRL ONLINE will fall right into the world of this YA DEVIL WEARS PRADA and stay hooked from the first blush to the last glossy kiss.

Buy your copy on Amazon.

Ready to meet the author?

Beth Ellyn Summer writes contemporary young adult fiction that somehow always includes the following elements: fame, makeup, and television. She graduated from Long Island University with a degree in Print and Electronic Journalism. Interning for Conan O'Brien and Jimmy Fallon was the highlight of her college years. When she's not writing, Beth can be found swatching eyeshadows, solving Wheel of Fortune puzzles, and playing with her adorable cat, Penny Belle. Beth lives on Long Island in a cookie cutter town that, in an ironic twist of fate, doesn't have a single decent bakery.

If she absolutely had to choose only one favorite cheese, then she'd say Parmesan. It's so light and salty and delicious that she usually grates up about four pounds of it on top of her pasta at dinner, or adds it to a salad. Her favorite place to eat Parm (and all cheese, really) is in the kitchen, where she can easily go back for more cheese.

Beth gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to win an ebook of AT FIRST BLUSH! (Open internationally.IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT WITH AN EMAIL ON THE PROFILE, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL IT TO crystal@crystal-collier.com WITH YOUR SCREEN ALIAS.

You have until Tuesday, July 4th at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on July 5, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE

1. I really hate movies! So much so that I haven't been to a movie theater in eight years. 

2. I appeared in a Saturday Night Live sketch once as an extra! It was nearly impossible not to laugh, especially around such a brilliant cast, but I kept a straight face.

3. I never learned to ride a bike.

So sleuths, which is the lie? What are your summer cheat/trick/traditions? Have you met Beth? Do you like contemporary stories? Are you going on vacation this year?