How to Overcome the Overwhelms: IWSG + the BIG Reveal

You're a hair away from imploding due to stress. You don't know how you can manage ONE MORE THING, say nothing about keeping up all the balls you have in the air.

How in the world are you supposed to dig yourself free of the insanity so you can do important things like breathe?

If you're there, you're not alone.

A quick hello to all my wonderful friends! I'm back on the blogosphere...sort of. This is an experiment. Normally I visit 100 to 200 blogging buddies on blogging day, but life has changed yet again, as life does. Per request, here's a sweet little hint as to why:

Actually, she's not so little, for a newborn.

So I'll be slow getting around to visit everyone. Very slowly. Like 5 blogs a day. But hey, it's a place to start.

For those of you who want more details (because I know there are a few), here you go:

She threatened to come DURING Hurricane Irma, but thankfully all the prayers on our behalf held her in. A week later, and after 24 hours of labor + a home birth that made me once again question why I didn't just opt for a c-section (which would have been mandatory in a hospital), I was handed this little beauty. (And man was I grateful to have her in my arms rather than kicking my ribs.) She goes by "Ally." And she's epic.

Since that moment, I've been sleep deprived and working to get my feet back under not just myself, but my entire family.

The upstairs hasn't been vacuumed for three weeks, which is a slightly big deal with a 2 year old in the house.

Big sister adores her.

Laundry takes all week to get done.

In her handmade, great-grandma dress.

Dinners have been 50% store bought or fast food since she was born.

And all of that (and more) could be greatly discouraging and make me feel like a failure of a mom.

But I don't feel that way.

Not at all.

Every day I fight to get a little more done. Each evening we're a little better than the day before. Our routine is coming back into place and we're even establishing new and better aspects. There are set backs...like my 2 year old who dumps toys EVERYWHERE (especially my room), spills liquids all over the house (milk, juice, spaghetti sauce), sneaks into the vitamins and medicine, and wanders off with important things like makeup & baby necessities. Or there's my ADD 11 year old who periodically needs more watching than the two year old.

BUT the point is, we need to have patience with our circumstances, life, and our ability to achieve. Working toward "perfect" or even just "good" is hard. There are little victories along the way, and we have to celebrate them when they come. We can't get stuck in the overwhelms.

Today, I'm celebrating the fact that I'm going to visit a few friends that I've missed online. One more ball in the air--but it feels more like a helium balloon.

This has been an installment of

Huge thanks for hosting
Alex Cavanaugh, Tonja Drecker, Diane Burton,
MJ Fifield, and Rebecca Douglass!

What victory are you celebrating today? Who is NaNo-ing? And have you had any fabulous cheeses while I've been away?

Why You Will Always Fail, Always

Do you ever feel like a complete failure? (*points to self* On a daily basis.)

Q: What is it that makes you feel like a failure? (Barring clinical conditions.)

A: An expectation that you have not yet or are unable to meet. Does that expectation come from you, from society, from a friend or spouse?

As a mom to 4.5 (see my last post if you missed the announcement), it's easy to fall into this trap. There's a house to keep clean, clothes to mend, schedules to keep, school lessons to plan and execute, food to make... But here's one quick life hack I've learned:

Simplify.

Hate cleaning that self-stirring pitcher? Toss it. (True story. Hubby saved me AGES of sanity.) Can't make it to sewing up the holes in pants? Up the clothes budget and shop at less expensive stores. Struggling to keep up with fifteen schedules in the same house hold? Set limits. (One extracurricular per person, or less.)

And more than that. Cut the guilt. So what if your neighbor's family is always wearing the newest fashions, attends really awesome concerts & shows, goes on AMAZING vacations, has the star kid on the community baseball team AND a future concert pianist AND are 3rd degree black belts AND delivers homemade cookies at Christmas to everyone, and and and...

You are you. You're different than anyone else--in your capabilities, your sanity level, your strengths, etc, and the sooner you recognize that, the better.

So cut back on the commitments and stop trying to be everyone's perfect vision of success. Do what keeps you sane. More importantly, celebrate the fact you are a success.

Otherwise you are doomed to always fail. Always.

This has been an IWGS group post. The question for this month:

Have you taken advantage of the annual A to Z Challenge in terms of marketing, networking, publicity for your book? What were the results?

Yes to all three. The results were awesome, but I wanted to sleep for a year afterwards.

THANK YOU, CO-HOSTS! Chris @ Madness of a Modern Writer, Madeline Mora-Summonte, Fundy Blue, and Chrys Fey!

Led by Ninja King, Alex J. Cavanaugh.

And now for the FREEBIE of the week...

Two weeks ago, Simone Pond shared HIDDEN SIGHT along with two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed was entered to win a PRINT book.

The game:

1. I saved someone's life giving them the Heimlich maneuver.
2. I was baptized in the Pacific Ocean.
3. I'm a hoarder.

The lie: #3.  

From Simone: Huge lie. I actually have OCD and I'm a neat freak! I can't stand any extra clutter or things out of place. I like my house to look like a museum. Sometimes I drive my husband a little nuts with all of my organizing and getting rid of things we don't need, but our home is very peaceful. 

And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Jess!

Congrats, Jess!

And now for an AWESOME epic fantasy:

Once Alaric was a Keeper. He protected the land with his knowledge and his magic. He advised the queen.

Once he was a good man.

Until, in a futile attempt to save his dying wife, he delved deep into dark magic, betraying everything he believed in. But now there is one last chance to save his wife, buried in an ancient Wellstone. With a map from a disgruntled dwarf, and the help of an inscrutable elf and an inept wizard, Alaric just might find it.

Except there are other, darker forces searching for the Wellstone. And if they find it first, they’ll use it to awaken a terrible evil. 

To face this growing threat—and have any chance at saving his wife—Alaric needs the strength and power of a Keeper, not the brokenness of the man he has become.

Can he overcome the darkness in his past? Or will it be the shadows within himself that destroy everything?

Buy your copy on Amazon.

Ready to meet the author?

JA Andrews is a writer, wife, mother, and unemployed rocket scientist. She doesn't regret the rocket science degree, but finds it generally inapplicable in daily life. Except for the rare occurrence of her being able to definitively state, "That's not rocket science." She does, however, love the stars.  

She began writing stories and creating coloring books because these sorts of things need an outlet. And now good markers are a deductible business expense.  

She spends an inordinate amount of time at home, with her family, who she adores, and lives deep in the Rocky Mountains of Montana, where she can see more stars than she ever imagined.

You might stumble across her at The Melting Pot downing their huge fondue pot of cheese on her anniversary. It’s happiness melted into a pot. 

Yup. I totally agree. =)

JA Andrews gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. If you guess the lie, right or wrong, you will be entered to win an eBook of A THREAT OF SHADOWS. (Open internationally.) And if you are the selected winner AND guessed correctly, you will receive as a bonus, A Keeper's Tale. IF YOU DON'T HAVE A BLOGGER ACCOUNT WITH AN EMAIL ON THE PROFILE, PLEASE LEAVE YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IN THE COMMENTS OR EMAIL IT TO crystal@crystal-collier.com WITH YOUR SCREEN ALIAS.

You have until Tuesday, April 18 at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer on April 19, 8 a.m. EDT.

TRUTH OR LIE

1. I have aphantasia, which is the inability to make pictures in my own head.
2. I hate aluminum foil so much that I refuse to touch it. Or anything it’s wrapped in. 
3. I have a degree in rocket science.

So sleuths, which is the lie? Have you met JA Andrews? Do you like epic fantasy? Do you feel like a failure? What is your greatest success or most unique talent?