Why You Are Destined to Offend Others & IWSG

Relationships are messy. 

Right?

Just as soon as it seems everything is going well, something pops up that needs to be straightened, fixed, discussed, changed.

This is life: Change. Always.

We all have thoughts, feelings, influences, moods, (hormone swings -- ugh), and more. There's no way you can go through life without saying or doing something that will strike someone else poorly. And even offend them.

In fact, you may do things intentionally that will offend others.

I might too.

Ultimately, we will all be offended, hurt, or broken at some point. And if we're fully living life, many times -- perhaps even in a single day.

Something I learned when I was being bullied as a kid: It was my choice HOW to react. I could lash out and add to the animosity, ignore it and hope it would go away, shrink into myself and nurse a poor-me mentality, or I could choose to understand that people make mistakes and perhaps they were acting as a result of their own trauma.

I mean, not all of them. People are lemmings and some were just following the crowd.

The point is, I could CHOOSE to be offended.

And yes, it's a choice.

I could also CHOOSE to let it go and focus on happiness rather than obsessing over how everyone else was acting.

Being angry or hurt happens. It's an instant reaction and that's aceptable. But holding onto it, that's a decision that we make consciously or subconsciously, and we darn well better make a conscious, mature decision because we are adults. (Haha! I mean, some of us are. Sometimes.)

Being hurt is a choice.

Being angry is a choice.

Hurting others will happen--no matter how careful we are. Apologies are great but we have no power over other's decisions to accept or not accept.

So my advice today: Decide to let things go. Realize all people are impulsive, offensive, and broken sometimes. It's up to us to choose if we will be one of them or if we will let go of pain and anger so we can embrace the joys these emotions blind us against.

As for me, I'm choosing joy. As often as needed.

The awesome co-hosts for the October 1 posting of the IWSG are Beth Camp, Crystal Collier (Me!), and Cathrina Constantine!

The question is optional.

October 1 question - What is the most favorite thing you have written, published or not? And why?

Haha! This is easy. Immortal the Musical. Okay, so there is a book version, pending publication, along with a huge social media release, but the ACTUAL musical? I'd have to say it got its first sneak peak debut back in March. And it was well received. This is the culmination of all my writing expertise, decades of music, singing, orchestral study, composition, lyric work, and poetry of the heart (as my great-grandmother calls it). I don't think you can get more epic than that, right?

Give me your thoughts! Have you been deeply offended? Let go of a deep offense? What is your favorite project you've ever worked on (writing or otherwise)? And do you have a link?

Choices, Choices

Have you ever been stuck in a phase of life where it was difficult to find happiness?

I remember living in NYC, how cramped, loud, smelly and exhausting every day was. Strangely, it was also one of the best times of my life. Having just given birth to #3, I learned how to homeschool my 6 yr old--while on double diaper duty with a 1 yr old. Every day was a struggle, start to finish. I could have been VERY miserable there, but a couple things happened.

1. I started seriously into my writing career. I met a wonderful agent who was kind enough to look over my most recent book and encouraged my growth and development. That gave me hope.

2. I really had the chance to focus on my family, and just my family. Spending that much time with my littles, I finally fell in love with being a mommy. (Yeah, it took 6 years--some of us learn faster than others.)

It didn't have to be the crucible of NYC that taught me these things, but the adverse circumstances helped.

I remember a time a couple years ago as I stood, hands submerged in soapy water while I cleaned dishes--without a dishwasher--and grumbled about the never ending chore. Suddenly it struck me. There will always be dishes. I can't change that. What I could change was my attitude, and from that moment on I tried to think of the family I was serving every time a job got especially arduous. I'd think about the clean/safe environment I was creating for them, and how it would add to the overall peace and happiness of our household.

My mom who is away on a service mission said it best: "Love what you are doing - and if you aren't doing that, it is time to refocus."

Happy Monday, friends. How's your focus today?