Pirates Don't Do Sparkles

Or maybe they do...

Friendlies!

I know I said my Fridays were done, and so are my Mondays, but I COULDN'T RESIST!!!! I've been aching to shout about Ashley Nixon's upcoming release for a while now, and well, it's official. She'll be in print April, 2014! Yay!

So have you seen this stunning cover?

It sets my imagination on fire! (Especially the sparkles) And the blurb...

Notorious pirate Barren Reed has one thing on his mind: Revenge against the man who killed his father. So kidnapping his enemy's fiancé seems a perfect plan…until he actually does it. 

Larkin Lee is more than a pretty face and fiancé to a powerful man. Her fierce personality is enough to make any pirate want to push her overboard. 

But when the King of the Orient comes to Barren with a task—to find the Bloodstone, a powerful gem thought only to exist in legend, Barren sees another opportunity to destroy his enemy. Together, Barren, Larkin and a crew of pirates set off to find the stone, only to discover it caused the death of Barren’s own mother and Larkin’s, too. As his strongest allies turn into his greatest enemies, and the life of the girl he kidnapped becomes more important than he ever dreamed, Barren’s quest for revenge becomes a fight to save the Orient.

Ready for some shameless (and really stupid) pirate jokes?

Yeah, I know, they were bad, but they were chocked full of CHEESE. =)

Anyhow, a quick reminder, sign up for my PHYSICAL book release blogfest HERE (DO IT NOW!!!) and in the spirit of rebellion, I'll be reviewing my good friend, Susan Oloier's newest release on Monday. But after that, it's Wednesdays only, I swear! (Okay, maybe I don't because I don't swear, but I do solemnly vow...uh...to not break my expected new schedule...much.)

What's the best pirate joke you've ever heard? Have you read any pirate books you enjoyed? 

Evil Vegetables

When my food nemesis is introduced to the world, it not only taints the air, but every food-like substance it comes in contact with. 

Cucumbers are the antithesis of all things delicious.

"What!?" you say. "But cucumbers are so innocuous." 

Hah! Try unflavoring your salad after cucumbers have swum through the tasty greens. Do you see the second half of the word? CUMBER. Tell me that sends positive vibes. (Eh? You can't!) There can be only one solution for the evil of "cucumbers." 

Image courtesy of luvvs2drawanime

PICKLES!!!

That's right, I said pickles. 

And now on to the blog tour...

Mystery Sentence Game: Unravel the mystery of the Moonless night! Gather all 8 hidden words from the excerpts and figure out the sentence to win a free copy of Moonless. Send your mystery sentence to crystal (AT) crystal-collier.com with the subject MYSTERY SENTENCE before December 10, 2013, and you will be entered to win one of 10 copies of MOONLESS—just in time for Christmas. Happy hunting!

Truth or Lie Game: It's Writerly Wednesday on STERIODS! (Minus the Wednesdays...and the steroids.) You have 6 chances to guess the lie and win a copy of MOONLESS. Each post has different truths and lies, so here's a chance to really test your human lie detector skills. Winners will be announced here December 11th. Are you a human lie detector?

TODAY:

Meradeth Houston hounds out my most favoritest books ever. Of all time. Period. (And a few other miscellaneous truths.)

A picture is worth 1000 words, but what about film? MOONLESS in Flash Fiction--film style with M. Pax. 

Random Facts: which is the lie? Help C. Lee Mckenzie figure it out. 

Ashley Nixon unveils Excerpt #6 in the Mystery Sentence Game.  

Do you believe any vegetables are evil? If so, which one? And have you met the Super Pickle?

Hey, and enter to win, eh? (You know you want to!)

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