Wednesday, February 5, 2014


We all need encouragement, right? 

It's so easy to make mistakes. My hubby gave a talk about this recently, about how we can get so trapped in the quagmire of our past. If we don't make a concerted effort to forgive ourselves and move on, we will never reach our goals, never become better. We'll always be bogged down by the guilt we've strapped to our backs and unable to soar to our true potential. It's like the monkey trap. 
Image courtesy of The Business Muse

Yup, that one. ---->

We have to give ourselves permission to fail sometimes, even (for writers) to write crap. My favorite choir teacher always said if you were going to make a mistake, make a bold one.

So here's my challenge today: let go of something in your past--something you can't change that brings you bad memories or feelings. Forgive yourself. Move on. Free those wings to reach new heights!

In honor of that message, here's a song to help us remember.



Now that you're charged to conquer the world, who's ready to win a game and a book?

Writerly Wednesdays here are for readers and writers. Get to know authors, test your human lie detector skills, and WIN books. 

Last week, Nicole Zoltack shared with us her Superhero suspense, Black Hellebore, along with two truths and one lie about herself. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing to win an eBook!

Nicole's game:

1. Nicole hasn't gone horseback riding in over six years.
2. She hates talking on the phone and begs her hubby to make phone calls for her.
3. She's training for a marathon this fall.

And the lie is: 

#3. Nicole says she includes horseback riding in her bio because it's a promise to herself that she'll go back to it eventually. On the marathon thing, while she loves working out and exercising, she's not a runner. Growing up, running was the only thing that set off her exercise-induced asthma. (ME TOO, NICOLE.) She might train for a race someday, that's not in the cards right now.

Way to guess those of you who got it right! You are officially human lie detectors. And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Christine Rains!

Congrats, Christine!

Today I have the privilege of sharing a wonderful self-proclaimed procrastinator, Elizabeth Seckman. She's a romance author, and with one of the warmest smiles I've ever seen, she cracks me up. You HAVE to check out all her works...


Past Due: The price of happily ever after may be too steep to pay once the past comes due. 


Healing Summer: Maybe it's love, not time, that heals all wounds.



Fate Intended is the third book in the Coulter Men Series. 

Trip is the last of the Coulter sons to find love. He’s a handsome man with all the skills a young spy needs to succeed. But when it comes to love, he misses the target. Jane is a sweet beauty who may or may not be wanted for murder. She’s hiding out as a cleaning lady when chance brings her and Trip together. It looks like a happily ever after is in the cross hairs until reality tries to destroy what fate has intended.
Pick up your copy HERE.

And now, let me introduce you to the wonderful author: 


Elizabeth Seckman is a simple chick with a simple dream…to write stories people want to read.

After complaining loudly about me making her pick, she confessed her favorite cheese is mozarella because you can put anything with it. (The black dress of cheeses.)

Elizabeth gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Can you figure out the lie? Those who do will go into my magic hat for a chance to win ALL THREE eBooks. Eek! THREE! Seriously, can we get a better Valentines gift in here? (I don't think so!) You have until Tuesday, February 11, at 1 p.m. EDT to guess--and be sure to come back for the answer on February 12.

TRUTH OR LIE

1. Elizabeth failed kindergarten and didn't know how to read until second grade.
2. She was named the Tyler County Fair Cow Queen.
3. She asked, or rather told her husband he was going to marry her. 
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Remember to join my SUPER FUN blogfest on Monday. Details HERE. Oh, and enter to win a free PHYSICAL copy of my book today on Goodreads (open to US, CA, GB, and AU) or here:


a Rafflecopter giveaway
______________________________________________________

And lastly, I need to mention, my buddy Samantha has an AWESOME something going up today. You should check it out--just as soon as you've commented. =D
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Okay, what is the lie? Do you have any awesome books to read this Valentines Day? Are you struggling with letting go? Are you SO excited about my print book coming out? (*serious face* The answer is yes, by the way.) ;)

133 comments:

  1. Excellent post, with an excellent message, Crystal. Continuing the Disney theme, I think this quote from the Lion King sums it up perfectly: "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it."

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  2. Your husband is so right...we will remain in the past if we don't forgive our self and move on. I think one of the keys to moving forward toward the horizon of happiness is letting go of the past.

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    1. Very true. It's impossible to be truly happy if we're holding onto misery. =)

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  3. Sometimes I think I've let go of things and then all of a sudden - wham! - they're back, weighing me down. Have got to try to get rid of them for good. Thanks for this post!

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    1. I know what you mean. It take conscious effort to drop pieces of our past.

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  4. Hi, Crystal,

    That is such great advice. We do need to forgive ourselves and MOVE ON! Once we clear away the baggage we can move much more freely!

    Congrats to Elizabeth! She is awesome!

    Her lie,,, Hmmmm. I don't think Elizabeth failed kindergarten.

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    1. We definitely do. Don't want to be the bag lady who carries everything until she's too bent over to see where she's going. =)

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    2. Michael, you are the awesome one!!

      Not saying anything about the truth or lie.

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  5. Ok, so I haven't seen Frozen (I know, I know, I'm way behind), and I just watched the whole song and got a little choked up. Yes, I'm a total sap, and that's OK. And now I need to see the movie!! Thank you for charging me up :)

    Congrats, Elizabeth! I'm guessing #1 is the lie.

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  6. I absolutely believe that Elizabeth was a county fair queen. :) So I'll go with #1 as the lie. :)
    Great post, Crystal. :)

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  7. I'm totally at peace with making big mistakes in my writing life. Mistakes happen when we DO something, and I'm definitely doing something!

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    1. So true. If we don't do, we can't fail, but we also can't succeed.

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  8. I don't watch much Disney anymore. Probably because I don't have kids watching it and so I forget to look. I have favorites we own but haven't seen Frozen. I'm thinking I should check the new ones out again. Good points about Forgiving and letting go. The present has enough to carry without dragging a baggage train of the past with it. :-)

    Like the blurb on Elizabeth's latest. These lie/truth are always hard to figure out because there isn't a point of reference, lol! I do know many solid readers of today having trouble with the learning as little ones but who knows? Not me.

    Sia McKye Over Coffee

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    1. Yeah, even if you don't have kids this one is a gem. Definitely worth seeing.

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  9. Letting go is always the hardest for me. Thanks for the reminder! And I love the movie Frozen! That song is awesome!

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    1. Me too. (It's a little bit of the red personality thing.)

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  10. Oh, but letting go can be hard. I love that song from Frozen though! :)

    As for Elizabeth's lie . . . I'll go with something different and say the lie is #2. And if it is indeed the lie then she definitely should've won!

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    1. It can, but SOOOOO worth it.

      Ooh! Being different. Dangerous. ;)

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  11. Oh I love the muck and mire. When I am really going on a story, the crap just flies. But....then the writing is more creative and flowing. If I get bogged down on all the word choices and character flaws, the story suffers. I can fix the problems in a revision but I can't put back in spontaneity.

    Love the song...my daughter and I sang it over and over after seeing the movie.

    (from one homeschooling writing mom to another)
    Leanne Ross ( readfaced.wordpress.com & @LeanneRossRF )

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    1. Home schoolers unite!

      I think real learning is the same thing--you have to just let the kids explore without rules and limits if you want to keep their fire alive.

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  12. Hi Crystal .. loved the monkey trap cartoon ... but your message is right on - we do carry hurt/pain with us unnecessarily ... and need to dump it permanently ...

    Get rid of the dirt before Spring comes around giving us a new lease on life .. cheers Hilary

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    1. Yup. Definitely time to do some cleaning. =)

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  13. Yay! Let's all let it go! What a better world this would be if we didn't drag the past into the present.

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  14. Rafflecopter...the coolest name for something ever! Yes, I think we all have moments of self doubt, but after 20 years of rejection and perseverance, I can personally say you gain a confidence you didn't have when you started out. So just keep writing...and even if someone criticizes you...it's one person's opinion. Not everyone will like what we do, so it's important to focus on those who do!

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    1. It's so true. You have to prioritize your focus, eh?

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  15. It is always good to learn by our mistakes and move on even though sometimes this can be hard to do. Thanks for the reminder today.
    I think Elizabeth's lie is number 1.

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    1. I've been pretty good at not saying a word.

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  16. I agree that it is important to let go of our baggage or things that are holding us back. We all make mistakes and today is a new day. :)

    I am having a tough time figuring out Elizabeth's lie... I am going to go with #3.
    ~Jess

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  17. What a great, and fun, post to read, and listen to! Thanks for the boost. Needed it today...

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    1. All in a daily dose of cheese. =)

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    2. Also, have you thought of writing a book on your editing process?

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    3. LOL. No. I guess I could, but really, I'd much rather be writing fiction.

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  18. You mean like that time I planted a bomb in City Hall while I was also poisoning the town's water supply?
    Or that time I killed off my MC's mother?
    Or that time I wrote my name on the moon with a giant laser?
    Or that time...

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  19. OR THAT TIME I STOLE ALL YOUR CHEESE!

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    1. *gasp!* That was you? Okay forget it. Forgiveness is off the table. But just for you.

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  20. I haven't seen Frozen, but I enjoyed that clip. Definitely an important thing to learn and do.

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  21. Thanks for having me over Crystal. You are all kinds of melted cheesy awesomeness.

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    1. Thanks for giving us a reason to party, Elizabeth!

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  22. Oh man, these truth and lie games are always so hard! Um ... #1 is the lie?

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    1. Not telling. Crystal said I couldn't...lol

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    2. LOL! Rachel, do you want me to make them easier? I could, but would it be as much fun if they were?

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  23. great post! unfortunately, i do stupid things i wish i could forget about pretty frequently. i'm less uptight than i used to be about some things, but still very anal about others... oh well! there, i let it go that i'm not perfect all the time and i will keep working at it!

    and love my buddy Elizabeth! can't wait to hang out with her in March! my guess is lie #2 - those are some crazy things!

    happy hump day!

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    1. I can't wait either Tara!! Once we get all the book stuff hashed out, then we will have to discuss what we plan to wear!

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    2. We definitely have to let go, eh?

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  24. Fantastic song to go with your hubby's wise advice :D
    We truly have to let things go so we can move on. We can use the experience to learn from, but we can't let it hold us back. Loved this!

    Congratulations to Elizabeth! :D
    I guess #2 is the wrong one. No particular reason, except its in the middle… lol

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    1. I always pick C when in doubt. My kids swear there is scientific proof behind it.

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  25. Make a big mistake - I can do that!
    I'm guessing the first one is the lie. I completely believe the third one!

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    1. I'm good at making mistakes too. The one skill I have mastered.

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  26. I haven't seen Frozen yet, but I'm sure looking forward to it.

    www.modernworld4.blogspot.com

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  27. You have a smart hubby! Letting go is hard to do sometimes. I'm going to guess #2 is the lie! Happy day to you!

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    1. I definitely do have a smart hubby. That's half the reason I married him, or I guess that he married me. ;)

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  28. #2 is the lie, I',m guessing. What a good post. I can't make plenty of big mistakes just as MY hubby. And I need to laugh 'em off...Thanks Crystal.

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    1. Totally need to laugh them off. I think that's what this whole life is about--learning how to not stress about the little things.

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  29. yay for christine---super good advice crystal and hmmm i don't think she told her husband they were going to marry!!

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  30. Congrats, Nicole on your new release. And I think the lie for Elizabeth is that she was voted country fair cow queen...

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    1. You don't believe in Cow Queens? I did grow up in a rural area sans red lights...

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    2. I can only imagine--no red lights? Yikes.

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  31. Crystal, I love the video... I love the message, I am a true believer in forgiveness... the only way to move on is to forgive... I need to learn to get rid of my one regret, I am working on that and it has nothing to do with forgiveness... lovely post :)

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    1. It is a great message, eh? One I don't think we can hear too often.

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  32. This was a good post for me to read. I'm overly hard on myself, and have an even more difficult time forgiving myself!
    Okay, off to check out Samantha's blog...

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    1. I think we all get that way--especially women.

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  33. Love that song! My kids are super excited for Frozen to come out on DVD.

    I'd guess number one is the lie.

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    1. I haven't seen it either. I need to check it out too. My guys don't watch too many Disney movies.

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    2. My daughter can't wait for the movie. She keeps begging me to get it and then I have to remind her it's not available yet.

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  34. I'm going with number 3 as the lie. I liked the music in Frozen. I was initially surprised by all the music, because I wasn't expecting it. My music teachers always told me to make bold mistakes, too.

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    1. Ooh, lots of music in it? I'll have to watch that alone. I live in a house of men who won't even watch Grease.

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    2. Sherry, I think all music teachers probably use that same advice. No one knows you're making a mistake if it's bold and seems intentional, right? ;)

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  35. The older I get, the more I understand that most anything in life can be overcome with the proper Disney song. "I've Got A Dream" from Tangled gets a lot of airtime around here. ^_^ And I loved Frozen, I'll be getting that as soon as it's out on DVD.

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    1. I'll keep that in mind next time I'm struggling to get through a moment. Disney, don't fail me now!

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  36. 1) I love that song and the movie! 2) thanks for sharing that message. We all need to here it sometimes :)

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  37. I'm going with #1. I haven't seen Frozen yet. It's on my list.

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    1. Oooh, I wonder what else is on the list. =)

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  38. Haha I hate it when my choir director tells us to make mistakes LOUDLY so she can hear them and fix them. The inclination is to shrink if we're not feeling sure of ourselves, right?
    Sounds like your husband has some good advice!

    AJ @ Naturally Sweet
    An April A-Z Co-host

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    1. But it's best to look like we meant to do it, right? ;)

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  39. Great post! I love your posts, always so fun AND thoughtful. When I was still seeing a counselor, she gave me some great advice on forgiveness. I had explained to her that I had forgiven everybody in my life...who was I to withhold forgiveness, if God can forgive me, I can forgive them. But then the counselor asked me, what about forgiving yourself? ......... Well, that honestly hadn't even crossed my mind. I had NEVER put myself on the list of people to forgive, so I had been beating myself up for years. The day she said that, was the day I was able to let my past go.

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    1. I know! It's so easy to recognize the enemy without, but not the one within, eh?

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  40. Oh my, lots of stuff going on here today Crystal. I've been working on letting go of lots of things over the last few years. Some things are just welded in place though.

    Not sure what Elizabeth's lie could be; but I'm going with #2. Although it could be fun to be voted the Cow Queen. I live in an area where cows are everywhere.

    ......dhole

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    1. Cow dittos to you Donna! There were more cows in my county than humans!

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    2. That seems to be my life lately, Donna. (The LOTS going on.)

      It's definitely difficult to let go sometimes, but is it better to live with a bur buried in your fur and just get used to the pain, or struggle with the open wound that will eventually heal completely? There's the question, eh?

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  41. Forgiveness is the ONLY way to go. I would have died from bitterness now otherwise! I don't think we should forgive and allow someone to hurt us, but we can forgive and leave those who hurt us behind.

    The lie? That she failed Kindergarden.

    Congrats on the book! :)

    shahwharton.com

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    1. Good wisdom Shah! My mom is the type who clings to hurts and it only makes her unhappy.

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    2. Seconded! We definitely should leave the hurt behind.

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  42. Your husband is so true. I have a big, guilty thing I'm just going to try to let go of.

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  43. I cab relate to the monkey trap of regrets!! What wonderful advice on letting go so we can live. Thank you for a great reminder :) Also congrats to Christine :) and this week I'm guessing #1. Have an awesome week.

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    1. Silly us, clinging to our stupidity, eh? ;)

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  44. This is what happens when I'm offline for one day. The blog reader explodes...

    Hmmm. I'm going to go with #2 being the lie.

    Letting go of the past. Working on that one.

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    1. LOL! This is what happens when I take the weekend off to take care of sick kids--my comments explode! We just can't win, eh? ;)

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  45. I'm definitely a past-dweller - never able to stop thinking about those bad things and what I could have done differently. So it's great advice that I need to employ more often. I haven't seen Frozen yet, but I've heard the song a bunch of times already and just love it.

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    1. You will love it when you see it. No question.

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  46. I have so many books to read! Somehow I need to find more time. :)

    I'm going to say the lie is #1, because for some reason I can see her doing #2 and #3 hee hee. :)

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    1. Oh my goodness, I KNOW what you mean. And lately I've started getting review requests. Can you imagine that? On top of your regular reading? Good thing I read fast...

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  47. Letting go isn't always easy. It's good to get regular reminders :)

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  48. Yay! Thanks so much. :) It's important to not drag the past around. Sometimes it's much easier said than done, I know.

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    1. For sure. It takes a concerted effort to leave it behind.

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  49. I think #1 is the lie.

    I've been deep in thought and forgiving myself for things.

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  50. I'm terrible at picking out the lies! Now, on the previous one, I also hate talking on the phone. I really, really do. I've been working at forgiving myself for things lately, but no matter how I tell myself I need to, I can't quite get there. Good reminder, thank you!

    The Warrior Muse

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    1. I hate talking on the phone too. Let me communicate where I can see your eyes and gauge your interest, eh? =) I think I'll forgive myself for being abrupt on the phone because I don't like talking on it.

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  51. I'm saying #1 is a lie, because who wouldn't want to be the county cow queen? I want that title right now! The books sound great, Elizabeth!

    Great intro, Crystal. Loved it.

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  52. Yeah, it seems the person I have the most trouble forgiving is myself.

    I've finally got my act (sort of) together and am on the promo train for your fabulous giveaway. But hey, looks like its already off to an amazing start!!

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    1. Nicki, you are amazing. Thank you for all your contributed awesomeness.

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  53. I haven't seen Frozen yet, but your clip makes me want to! Excellent advice. Thank you.

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  54. Love the monkey trap. And always, musical posts. :)

    You know, letting go is difficult. I'm just now making it around for IWSG (and have been since Wednesday), and still trying to get other stuff done. Time is a killer. And that's why I had to let go of the group. It took some doing before reaching that decision, though. We'll see how things turn out.

    Good post, Crystal, and good luck with your book.

    M.L. Swift, Writer

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    1. Time is a killer, and thank you for the well wishes!

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  55. Tough questions facts from Elizabeth! I have to say #2. I just don't like to think of anyone as a cow queen. lol
    I love yours and your hubby's words of wisdom. Learning to let go is one of life's greatest lesson, and I may even go so far as saying the meaning of life is knowing how to let go. In so many different contexts.
    That Frozen song is really becoming popular. It was the best part of the movie I thought.

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    1. For true. The song is definitely epic. As was the movie.

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  56. I can't decide which one to say is the lie. Eenie, Meenie, Mynee, Moe: #1 How's that for the scientific approach.

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  57. I so want to see Frozen!!! I love this song too - awwwww - it's lovely!! Take care
    x

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    1. Yay! Kitty! I missed you, lady. Glad to see you here. =)

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  58. Oh my gosh I listened to that song literally on repeat for 8 hours at work the day after I saw that movie. So great. And awesome giveaway!!

    Sarah Allen
    (From Sarah, With Joy)

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Hit me with your cheese!