Friday, December 6, 2013

My New $40,000.00 TV

That's right--this thing is so posh only a debut author who has sold her soul could afford it. 
All 85 inches of sheer awesomeness now wrap my front room* in masterful media so powerful it will blow the collector away when he comes to reposes my soul...er, visit for tea. 

*No, I don't actually own this TV. BUT I SHOULD. LOL!

Ahem, so I stumbled across this masterpiece, and I just had to share. If you need a chuckle, check out the reviews HERE.

A sneak peak of what you'll find:  

"At first I hesitated to make the purchase, but then I saw the two AA batteries were free with the remote, and I was all in!" 

"We got this beauty to replace the bridge's main viewscreen after the last time Sulu traded paint with the Excelsior."

"Although pricey, this beautiful hammock stand is very sturdy and will endure harsh weather and horse bites. Note that the lonely tree landscape it's not real but i get enough of those already, so it's fine."

"My wife and I bought this after selling our daughter Amanda into white slavery. We actually got a refurbished. It's missing the remote, but oh well-- for $10K off, I can afford a universal, right? The picture is amazing. I've never seen the world with such clarity.

Amanda, if you're reading this, hang in there, honey! We'll see you in a year."

See what I mean? Go have a chuckle. And happy Friday. What creative spin would you take on a review? 

35 comments:

  1. The last one is hilarious! Almost makes me wish I had kids to sell into slavery so I could get that television...
    Kidding!
    I don't really want kids...

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  2. Alex wants kids! He said it here first! Anyway, wow with the tv. At that price I'm tempted to get a couple of them, you know, just in case I decide I want to turn around and watch tv too.

    Just stopping by....

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    1. Right! I mean, one for the front room, one for the bathroom, one for the living room, one for the bedroom, one for the poolside and one for each of the sixty two guest rooms in the house.

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  3. The two AA battery one is hysterical! I needed a laugh this morning. Thanks, Crystal.

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  4. Those reviews are hilarious, but poor, poor Amanda. She'll never be the same. Just think of all the good you could do for people with that money. I don't need that TV, but if I decide to get it, I might mention in my review that selling a kidney helped me come up with the money.

    Love,
    Janie

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  5. OMG! I never knew reading reviews could be so much fun. Looks like they were written by fans of Jeff Kinney. My sides hurt. It was worth you buying that TV just so you could tell us about them.

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  6. Oh my gosh!! Where did you find that? Sooo funny. I bet the same moron, um I mean bargain shopper that bough that bought this crappy, um masterful piece of art:
    http://twentytwowords.com/2013/05/16/canvas-painted-blue-with-a-white-line-sells-for-nearly-44-million-4-pictures/

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  7. Ha! Ha! White Slavery. Kidding, kidding, anyway you really gave me a good laugh today Crystal. Which might be just as funny as me nearly calling you Cindy. Enjoy the weekend and that television.

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  8. OMGosh, that is so hilarious. People are so funny and clever to even think to write those kinds of reviews. I am cracking up!

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  9. Oh my gosh, I was like, "wait, there's a TV that's actually that expensive???" I had to go check it out. Love the comments--people are do clever!

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  10. Too much! We've still got one of those old ones. You know, the big fat ones. Still in the dark ages. :)

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  11. I love this comment: "I am coming back from the future to write this review, and to let everyone know you can buy this TV for $699 in 2015. It still looks great though."

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  12. What a hoot. And don't we all know people who would buy it - if they had daughters to sell into slavery.

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  13. The hammock stand is useless. I kept falling off it when I was trying to curl up with Harrison Ford. In the end I had to take the TV off the darned stand so that I could put it in bed with me!

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  14. Oh, gosh, those reviews are priceless! I checked out the link and every time I think a review can't be topped, I read another one that has me cracking up. Thanks for the laugh today!

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  15. If it fell over, it might crush me and then I would have to leave a bad review.

    Seriously, why does anyone need a TV that's that huge?

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  16. Hey Crystal!

    Have you missed me? Of course you have! :) Those reviews make me actually want to sell my 85 incher, as in my Super HDTV and replace it with something bigger and better. My son is wondering why I'm changing the locks on the house.

    Have a widescreen weekend.

    Garry :)

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  17. LOL LOL I love the one about selling the daughter. :D

    Happy weekend, Crystal!

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  18. Wow, that's crazy. The reviews are so funny! What an awesome discovery Crystal. Thanks for the laugh =)

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  19. Reminds me of the comments for that Bic pen when they made a girly version (because girls need different pens than boys).

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  20. Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog lettersfromlaunna.blogspot.com

    I am following you on GFC now.

    Funny spin on the review, made me smile :)

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  21. Those reviews are hilarious! OMG thank you so much... what fun!

    Book update: Chapter 33, I think I'm almost a third of the way through! I will hopefully be snowed in all day tomorrow with nothing to do but read! Alexia's hopefully about to get some answers, and I AM TOO, please, I am dying here!! LOL Honestly, Crystal, this is so, sooo good!

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  22. Ahhh now I can leave a comment! Thanks so much!

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  23. Very funny! Especially the review about the free AA batteries thrown in! If I had a "spare" $40,000 to spend I'd definitely be going to Antarctica! No matter how fabulous the TV, it doesn't replace real experiences! Have a great weekend!

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  24. Oh my goodness, is this thing real?! The review with the AA batteries is too funny. Sure, that deal makes you go for it :-)

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  25. Ha, I love when there are goofy reviews, though I guess I wouldn't if I were the one selling it. I remember reading a bunch of goofy reviews for the special pen Bic made for women only. If you have time, look up the Bic for her (I think that's what it was called). Unless the reviews have been removed, they're great.

    The Warrior Muse

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  26. That's a hoot. People are so funny.

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  27. Impressive TV, and those reviews are awesome :)

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  28. The shipping is free! Another perk.

    Funny reviews.

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  29. How. Much?!?!?!?! What the...!!?? Oh the reviews are priceless! LOL! Take care
    x

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  30. Gosh. Don't let my husband see this title. He'll be all over a TV like that. :(

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Hit me with your cheese!