But which world you ask? The fictional ones or the every day, run of the mill, drudgery one?
The real world.
That's right. The real world.
I've been reading off my go-list, a very long, long list, and finally hit:
1. Don't criticize. Don't condemn. Don't complain.
In other words, BE POSITIVE. Look for the good rather than the bad--and especially ONLY put the positive out into the world. This is especially difficult in this divisive world climate, but I always said if you didn't like a person, you just didn't know them well enough. There is no one on this earth that doesn't possess some redeeming quality. (Even psychopaths.) When reviewing books, I can always find something positive to say (because there's always something, usually several somethings) even if I don't connect with the material and struggle with the writing.
We find what we seek. We find what we focus on. The person looking for sunshine is the one who discovers it.
2. Listen to others.
One of the saddest aspects of our reality is how isolated people are becoming. They can work from home. They can shop from home. They can live on their phone.
Tech is nice, but we need people. Studies have shown that deep depression is remedied by positive interactions with others, but in order to have those, we have to interact. We have to form and foster relationships. To have meaningful relationships, we have to not only listen, but HEAR what others are saying. (Even between the lines.)
3. Focus outside oneself.
I don't state this lightly. For about two generations, the world has told us to focus inward, do what makes YOU happy -- this is where true happiness comes from!
Yeah...no.
It broke my heart when this became the narrative society embraced. I'm not ancient but I've lived long enough to know that true happiness comes from pouring into others, seeing them succeed, and having a focus beyond me. Yes, I love it when I succeed -- but I also get all the nerves, tension, and self consciousness. (I say this as a long time vocal performer, author, director, and all things art.) BUT when I see someone else succeed whom I'm championing, there is nothing but positivity, joy, and pride. (I say this having run a drama program, as a parent, as a teacher.)
When we validate others, when they know they are important to us, we become a force in their lives. Until we form that connection, who cares what you have to say?
Finding purpose beyond ourselves is the key taking over our world.
There you have it! The way to take over YOUR world, to build something that is lasting, beautiful, and fulfilling. And now I'll step off my cheesebox and go read more books.
The IWSG question: Some common fears writers share are rejection, failure, success, and lack of talent or ability. What are your greatest fears as a writer? How do you manage them? (See the answer above.)
What tips and tricks have you discovered to find success?
P.S. I've started back into sending newsletters with book reviews and freebies. Join me? Sign up.
Exactly! And all three of those require us to focus on others rather than ourselves. If more people did that, it would be a happier world.
ReplyDelete100%. The ideal world, eh?
DeleteI knew the one about getting out of our heads. Thanks for sharing the rest and for the cheese. Just one question, where'd all wine go? hehehe
ReplyDeleteAnna from elements of emaginette
LOL. I don't drink. *gasp* I know, I know, but it's true.
DeleteDale Carnegie was de rigeur in my formative years and he is still spot on. I bet you finish each chapter feeling uplifted. As with Norman Vincent Peale "The Power of Positive Thinking".
ReplyDeleteYou know it! Such a good book. Definitely goes on the top recommendations shelf.
DeleteI like to think of myself as an optimistic realist. Or a realistic optimist. :)
ReplyDeleteThat works for me! =)
DeleteGreat post! And good advice. I was just thinking about #2 yesterday. I'm and introvert, and time by myself is what recharges my batteries, but I still need social interaction. The older I get, the more I miss the old days when neighbors visited more with each other.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you! We live in such a strange world compared to what it used to be.
DeleteGood reminders that we should get out of our heads and over ourselves once in a while! (And thanks for stopping by... I eventually figured out that my IWSG post hadn't posted!).
ReplyDeleteOh man! I'll have to stop by again.
DeleteI love this post. I so agree with number #3 about focusing on others. Helping others in ways I can has really helped in my own healing process. I'm so glad you're blogging again!
ReplyDeleteRight? Healing always goes better with helping.
DeletePreach! People are becoming more and more selfish because they're spending so much time alone and interacting only with screens. Spending time with other people is so important to have empathy.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. That and reading.
DeleteGood post
ReplyDelete*love*
DeleteYes! I teach seminars on leadership and goal-setting and a lot of it has to do with those very things.
ReplyDeleteRight? We all get too inwardly focused.
DeleteBalance. Of course helping others is good for us. Just don't forget to recharge and make sure we're not giving everything to others. I didn't realize that's what that book was about. Funny how it was pretty simple.
ReplyDeleteToo true. There's definitely a happy medium. So there were more principles involved, but those are the basics it boiled down to. Still an excellent read, very uplifting, and SO worth consuming.
DeleteI kid you not, I was just talking with a friend about this very thing. Always a good reminder. ;)
ReplyDeleteCrazy! Great minds think alike. ;)
DeleteTruth spoken. Especially relationships and inclusion are important. I strive to be an optimist, but that's not an easy task. Thanks for your comment on my Blog It's nice to hear, as my fear is that not many people are into poetry. But than again I enjoy writing it.
ReplyDeleteAnd truly, your poetry is epic. Seriously. I heard you about optimism. That's why I try to do everything with a dash of cheese. ;)
DeleteHi Crystal - I have no desire to take over the world ... I'd prefer to be here with people who appreciate me, and I them, helping wherever I can, not complicating others' lives. Great post Crystal - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteLOL! Not even a little desire? Haha.
DeleteWhat a wonderful, inspiring post Crystal! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by! =D
DeleteLovely and inspiring post, dear Crystal. I laughed at the raccoon one.
ReplyDeleteHe cute but devious. LOL.
DeleteI bet. LOL
DeleteLove it! @samanthabwriter from
ReplyDeleteBalancing Act
Woot. Woot. Excellent post, Crystal. Lots of truism here.
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you here, Sandra!
DeleteGreat post. I am a realistic optimist.
ReplyDelete