Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Poison, Pickles, and Pampers

Bringing you your mid-week laughs...

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(I think maybe he was poisoned.
Or he was subjected to this:)
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Speaking of pickles, who doesn't need some of these?

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For the sake of everyone everywhere, please no! 
(Or is he saying heil?)

Back to our theme for the day...


 

Last week Rachel Schieffelbein shared with us DON'T FALL, along with two truths and a lie. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing for the chance to win her eBook.

Rachel's Game:



1. I once drove down a Canadian highway on a golf cart, and then took it through a McDonald's drive-thru with five other girls all on board.
2. Won a ballroom dance competition in five inch heels.
3. I was attacked by a deer. 

THE LIE: #2. I mean seriously, who can dance in 5 inch heels? #MurderMeNow

Way to guess everyone! And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...


Congrats! 

And now for this week's feature... 

Since the night her mother was murdered, sixteen-year-old Rory Gray has known one truth: There are no good Seeders. 

In post-apocalyptic Australia, the scientists known as Seeders have built a Citadel surrounded by food-producing regions and populated with refugees from the wars and famine. To maintain their control, the Seeders poisoned the land and outlawed the saving of seeds.

It’s been six years since Rory graced the Seeders’ circus stage as the Wind Dancer and still the scars on her body haven’t healed. Even worse are the scars on her heart, left by a Seeder boy who promised to protect her.

Now the Seeders are withholding supplies from Rory’s region for perceived disobedience. Utilizing the Wanderer knowledge she received from her mother, Rory must journey to the Citadel through uninhabitable terrain to plead for mercy. 

However, the Citadel isn’t as Rory remembered. The chief plant geneticist is dying and rumors fly that the store of viable seed is dwindling. The Seeders are desperate to find a seed bank they believe Rory can locate, and they will stop at nothing to get it. To defy the Seeders means death. But Rory has been close to death before--this time she’s learned the value of poison.

Get your copy HERE.

Ready to meet the author?


Lan Chan is a writer, gardener and professional procrastinator based in Melbourne, Australia. She is still waiting for her super powers to manifest but until then she writes young adult novels featuring strong female protagonists, minority characters and has a particular interest in dystopias and urban fantasy.

Although she can only handle what she calls the "essence of cheese" (ex: a pizza with the mozzarella picked off), she is still an author, and still deserves our respect. (Pity her for the cheesy goodness in life that she's missing out on and guess her lie, eh?)


Lan gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out the lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win an eBook of POISON. There will be 2, I repeat TWO winners.

You have until Tuesday, September 22 at 1 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answers on September 23. 
TRUTH OR LIE


1. I was born in a refugee camp in Vietnam where I spent the first five years of my life. Whilst there I almost drowned twice by falling into rivers. Once it happened because I was trying to retrieve a flip flog that had fallen in. What a way to go!

2. As you might be able to tell from the environmental themes in Poison I am a bit of a nature geek. To that end I've been experimenting with alternatives to shampoo and conditioner because of all the nasty chemicals they contain. The most popular alternative is baking soda and apple cider vinegar. This is called the "No Poo Method." It did not end well. 

3. Right before we moved to Australia my family moved from the refugee camp to Saigon. One day whilst coming home from the fields surrounding our house, I had my brother on my shoulders but because he was a very chubby baby I tripped and we fell into a muddy field littered with buffalo dung. My mother was not happy when we came home.


So sleuths, which is the lie? Any LOL moments for you today? Have you read dystopian? Like it?

52 comments:

  1. I love dystopian! Congrats, Lan. #2 is the lie... I hope. What's a flip flog?

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  2. Congratulations to Lan! Like all the poison funnies you found. I'd say the second one is the lie.

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  3. Oh, lots of great funnies today! The "Whole Foods" one especially cracked me up... XD

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  4. Oh, that pickle in the jar!! ^_^
    That's hilarious that someone actually wrote that on the back of a diaper!!

    I'm going with #2 for the lie, only because I know people who wash their hair with the craziest things.

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  5. What a theme! Pickles and poison. Yikes! Congrats to Lan. I'm guessing #2 is the lie. We all know what happens when you put baking soda and vinegar together.

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  6. The Red Bull sample givers stopped by my work yesterday. HR immediately called me and said, "Hey! We grabbed you a sample." It seems that people think of me when Red Bull is mentioned. I wonder why... I don't have a problem...

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  7. Poisoned for the good of the sheep. Doesn't that just figure!

    Congrats Lan! I'm guessing the lie is #3.

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  8. Ha! Love the pickle face in the jar. And best wishes to Lan and her Wind Dancer series.

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  9. Love the pickle face in the jar! Congrats to Lan. I'll say the lie is #1.

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  10. I see sounds?? That's classic!! Congrats to Chan and Flower!!

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  11. That Redbull one cracks me up! Hmm, maybe I really should try some of that in my coffee instead of milk.... :)

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  12. So much fun stuff this week. Not sure I'd try the pickle gumballs. Congrats to Lan!

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  13. Love the evil pickle face! Congrats to Lan. I'm thinking the lie is #1...?

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  14. Love the evil pickle face! Congrats to Lan. I'm thinking the lie is #1...?

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  15. I'm going with #2 as the lie. Though as I choose it, I'm imagining the mess the mix of vinegar and baking soda would make. But then I wonder...maybe it could work? Definitely different, so I am sticking with it.

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  16. I like pickles, but pickle flavored gumballs? Blech! If anything something like that could be an incentive to make people stop chewing gum. Redbull and coffee would be an interesting combination, though; I often drink coffee before I teach, but if I added Redbull to the mix, I might get so wired that I'd freak out my students.

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  17. I have a reference book called Deadly Doses that I often consult for fictional poisonous reasons. I *did* get a worried email from the teacher of my eldest daughter (a budding writer) when she brought it into school for silent reading ... and I may have once left it out on the coffee table when the in-laws were coming to a barbecue ...

    Sometimes, writers just feel ornery. ;)

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  18. That was too perfect. Got to love Cronk. Congrats, Lan! :)

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  19. Crystal, I love all you poison and pickle pictures... interesting that the newspaper had to remind people not to take poison... do people often take this not realizing what they are taking... lol... oh my ;) xox

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  20. Wow, one actually has to remind people not to take poison? I used to like pickles as a kid, now, not so much. I would have to say #1 is the lie.

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  21. Don't take poison. Snicker. And pickle gum? Really?

    I'll guess #3 is the lie.

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  22. Blech, pickles! So not my favorite things in any form! And love the potential truth/lies--I have no clue so am just going with #1!

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  23. Great cartoons to lead into this week's featured book!

    Okay, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the #2 No Poo is the one that's full of poo. :) (i.e. the fib)

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  24. Great images. Lie...#2. I've heard of shampoo alternatives, but not that one. (Not that I know anything about it.)

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  25. No pickles for me! When I forget to order a hamburger without them, I become that little kid who picks them off, lol. I did enjoy the jokes especially the poison ones! Those are a hoot! I think the lie is #3. xoxo

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  26. That pickle face made me laugh.

    I'm going to say #1 is the lie.

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  27. Professional Procrastinator---love it.
    Ooh, this is a tough one. I'm going with 1.

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  28. Thanks for the grins, Crystal!

    I'm going to say #3 because I really hope she didn't fall into buffalo dung. The book sounds great, Lan! :)

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  29. The lie has to be number two because I use baking soda and apple cider vinegar in my hair (shampoo and conditioner free for years other than traveling) and it's the best thing to ever happen to my hair.

    Hubby and I are huge cheese fans and two of our kids are lactose intolerant. So sorry you can only handle the essence of cheese.

    Love the pickle face.

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  30. You know, I like pickles, but the idea of pickle bubblegum is grossing me out right now.

    I'm guessing the lie is... #2. It's so mundane compared to the others. I have a version of #3, but with cow dung. And my little brother so chubby, he probably weighed as much as I did, and we were 6 years apart. In my case, it was my grandma who had to pick up a toddler who'd fallen in cow dung. Reminded me of a fun (albeit gross) memory!

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  31. Hi Crystal .. I love pickles and cheese .. .thankfully you didn't spoil the cheese with some of these funnies ... I think #1 is the lie ... but some of those funnies are great to see .. cheers Hilary

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  32. Not sure what made me laugh harder, the agony-faced pickle or the defaced diaper box with the fascist baby.

    I'm guessing #2 is the lie. I don't think that fizzy mix would do much to clear away oil in one's hair.

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  33. I'm guessing #2 is the lie. Nice message from the poison control center. Like that was a no brainer!

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  34. Congrats to Lan! I'm guessing #2. And, wonderful book blurb!

    Plus, I might resemble the first LOL picture . . . maybe.

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  35. That first one about seeing sounds cracked me up! LOL

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  36. That first one about seeing sounds cracked me up! LOL

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  37. "Oh, right. The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison. That poison?"

    haha! I love that movie!!

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  38. Seeing sounds - now that would be something, right? lol Thanks for the laughs. Thanks also for the intro to Lan. Wishing her well!

    Have a great weekend!

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  39. Slight tangent: I've never put Red Bull in coffee (because I don't drink either), but last week I was so tired I put protein powder in my oatmeal. It turned out to be really good and I've stuck with it. O_o

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  40. Hello my lovely Crystal. Well they made me laugh! It's not often I laugh in the morning. Love the first one - "I can see sounds" Ha! Happy weekend ;)

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  41. So much poison today. Are you okay? :-)

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  42. Congrats to Lan! I think #2 is the lie, but I'm hoping #1 and #3 didn't happen either. :)

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  43. Poison sounds fascinating! All the poison, pickles and Pampers made me chuckle. I am not the best at picking out the lies- but I am guessing #3 is the lie...

    ~Jess

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  44. Congrats to Shell. I think 2 is the lie.

    I've drank Red Bull and coffee in one morning, but not together.

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  45. Hahaha! "You never know when you might need to kill someone." I love Merlin!! =-)

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  46. I'm voting for #2, because that sounds too sensible to be the truth :)

    Serious kudos to Lan - and as a fellow immigrant, way to go on following your dreams :)

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  47. Thanks everyone for participating! I'm having a lot of fun reading your answers :)

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  48. Why so much poison? No 2 sounds not true.

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  49. So wait, we're not supposed to take poison? No wonder I keep getting poisoned. It's from all that poison I keep taking. Thanks, Utah Poison Control Center!

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  50. The Whole Foods joke is pumpkin-licious!

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Hit me with your cheese!