Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Not So Innocent Halloween Funnies, and a Roland Yeomans Giveaway

Erm, I should amend that. We're not giving away Roland Yeomans...well, I suppose we kind of are--or at least, a part of his SOUL. (Aka, his writing.) As part of his DON'T BUY MY BOOK blog tour, you've got the chance to win some pretty epic prizes. But first...

Are you ready for Halloween? This is seriously my favorite time of the year. It's when I started dating my hubby. It's when my first child was born. It's my birth month. AND Halloween!! How do you get more epic than that?

So in the spirit of all things spooky and awesome, have a laugh:

Because  everyone wants to look their best.

Except for maybe this guy.

Beware killer pumpkins this year.

And ghosts. Or should they beware you?

Nope. Killer pumpkins for sure.

And maybe killer wolves. 

But definitely frying pans.


Last week, I shared two truths and one lie. Anyone who guessed the lie correctly was entered to win the entire Maiden of Time series in eBook.

The game:

1. My first draft of Timeless was 42,000 words long. (150 pages.) Of those original 42,000, only about 10,000 survived to the final draft (85,000 words). (How's that for insight into the process?)
2. One of the main characters in my Maiden of Time series, Kiren, has been with me since 1994. That makes him his approximate physical age in the series (22).
3. I hate cheese.

The lie: ... If you don't know this, I OBVIOUSLY haven't been doing my job. It's true, only a fraction of my original words ended up in TIMELESS, and Kiren really has been living in my head for 22 years. In comparison, his romantic interest, Alexia, has been around for almost 15 years.

Way to guess everyone! And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...


Congrats, Mark!

And now, it's time to offer up Roland's soul...I mean books. He has JUST released


History turned upside down.

This is a blend of vampires, airships, and dragons that will keep you riveted and laughing. Prepare to experience 1867 in a way history says never existed: Sherman’s bloody march through Georgia didn't happen. Lincoln wasn't assassinated. The great Sioux nation still exists.

Enter a rollicking other-dimension, a tale containing so many human truths and quotable aphorisms right from the mouths of a cast of colorful characters--from Mark Twain to a vampire Benjamin Franklin.

Get Your Copy HERE.

Ready to meet the soul you're about to consume, er, I mean read?

Roland Yeomans was born in Detroit, Michigan. But his last memories of that city are hub-caps and kneecaps since, at the age of seven, he followed the free food when his parents moved to Lafayette, Louisiana. The hitch-hiking after their speeding car from state to state was a real adventure. Once in Louisiana, Roland learned strange new ways of pronouncing David and Richard when they were last names.  And it was not a pleasant sight when he pronounced Comeaux for the first time.

He has a Bachelor’s degree in English Education and a Master’s degree in Psychology. He has been a teacher, counselor, book store owner, and even a pirate since he once worked at a tax preparation firm.


So far he has written thirty-four books. You can find Roland at his web page: www.rolandyeomans.blogspot.com or at his private table in Meilori’s. The web page is safer to visit. But if you insist on visiting Meilori’s, bring a friend who runs slower than you.

Roland gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out either lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win ONE OF TWO audiobooks (open internationally):




You have until Tuesday, October 18 at 2 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answer (and some FUN trivia) on October 19, 8 a.m. EDT.
TRUTH OR LIE

1. Two years in a row, I and the rest of my city, were mandatorily evacuated from our homes because of hurricanes.
2. As a six year old, I spent six weeks alone on the roughest street in Detroit with only a street person and her little dog for company.
3. I learned Cajun French from being surrounded by only french speaking neighbors my first summer in Lafayette after moving there from Detroit.
So sleuths, which is the lie? Have you met Roland? (If not, jump over to his place. He's wildly entertaining.) And DON'T buy his new book. That's right. I told you not to. *taps fingers* *waits for rebellion to incite*

129 comments:

  1. What fun memes, Crystal. Now that the cool weather has arrived, I can finally admit that I also enjoy Halloween too. Love to see the little ones in their costumes.

    I used to live in Louisiana too, Roland. Some great food down there!

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    1. Cool weather? Oh man, I'm still waiting for that. You know those super light weight costumes they sell? Those are because of us.

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    2. Good but a bit too spicy for my poor stomach! :-)

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  2. It's my birth month, too! Lots of October birthdays among family and friends. :)

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    1. I know!!! It's crazy ridiculous. We have 7--between our family, my hubby's siblings, and my siblings. Is that insanity or what?

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    2. October is my favorite month -- it has Halloween -- and my birthday -- and the feel and scents of the air are so crisp and clean.

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  3. Tough. I know the second one is true. I don't think they were evacuated two years in a row though, so I'll say the first one is a lie.

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    1. He definitely made them tricky. I was like, "Gosh, if I didn't know the answer..."

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    2. Life is odd in how often lightning strikes twice!

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  4. I was due on Halloween but come late, in November. I love the pumpkin 'snow' man. I could see my hubby doing that in our yard. Lie is number one?

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    1. LOL! That's some thing I want to see in person--the pumpkin man. Hey, November is better than being born on Halloween. I'd know. That's my brother's birthday.

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  5. I love the picture of the pumpkin who had botox. October does sound like a very good month for you :-)

    I'm loving Roland's "don't buy my book" tour. Fun picture of him in his Trekkie outfit.




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    1. It's a cool tour, right? I mean, Roland is a riot anyway, but when he employs reverse psychology...

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    2. Hey, I am a sucker for reverse psychology -- I thought I'd try it! Thanks, Ellen, for liking my tour!

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  6. I seriously hope that spending 6 weeks alone a a child is the lie!

    Love the dad as Red. Perfect.

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    1. I echo you. Even though I know the lie.

      That dad is epic, eh? When I saw that one, I knew I had to include it.

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  7. Happy Birth Month!

    I think #1 is the lie. Roland great trekkie shirt!

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    1. Yay! Awesome for us, right? Birthdays only a couple days apart. *high fives Roland*

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    2. High Five back. Midnight gave you one, too, but with him it is a High Four! :-)

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  8. Loving all these funnies! The "come at me, bro" one made me chuckle way too much...

    And wow, you weren't kidding about how epic October is for you. Hope you have a fantastic birth month!

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    1. Thanks a ton, Heather! Glad I could supply the laughter today. You know I just extended your life by like five minutes, right? ;)

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    2. Crystal, I echo Heather's wishes for you to have the best October ever!!

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  9. LOL. These are hilarious. Especially the first one.
    Many congrats and wishes for mega sales for you and Roland.

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    Replies
    1. Here's to laughter and the good it does us!
      I'm seconding your wish for Roland.

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    2. I'm seconding her wish for both of us, Crystal. Thanks, Sandra.

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  10. Loved the pictures, especially the parenting one. Have a Happy Birthday!

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  11. Yay for Roland! He's a hoot :) I'm guessing #2 is the lie.

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    1. He definitely is. I'm lucky to have him here today.

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    2. Crystal, I am the lucky one for having you as a great hostess. Thanks, Meradeth!

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  12. Oh my goodness, I can't stop laughing at that poor little ghost child who gets hit by the door. Does that make me a bad person??

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    Replies
    1. No, it makes you a parent. =) What parent hasn't had a ghost-door moment?

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    2. Tiana, it just makes you remember similar times in your own life. Banana Peel Slip Syndrome I think they call it! :-)

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  13. I love the frying pan and fridge one the very best. Serves him right.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

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    1. Right? I laughed hard over that one too and was tempted to post a Rapunzel reprise.

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  14. Those videos are mostly hilarious. Big rule--be careful when scaring people as they tend to get that fight or flight thing going. That frying pan was definitely a fight one! :D

    Happy Birthday month!

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  15. Hahahaha! Great funnies, Crystal. Yes, definitely beware of killer pumpkins. Poor ghost though.

    Grats Roland! I hope #2 is the lie. My daughter is 6 and I'd hate to think of her spending six weeks alone in rough territory. :(

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    1. Right?!? What a terrifying thought, but sometimes reality beats the snot out of fiction.

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    2. Thanks for wishing #2 being the lie. :-)

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  16. Oh those killer pumpkins. I hope my pumpkin doesn't get any ideas. ;)

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  17. I love the month of October too. Especially because of all the Horror movies on tv.

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    1. Right?! We've been watching at least one a week with the kids to educate them--tame horror movies.

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  18. I nominate that guy who dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood as Father of the year. What a cool thing to do for his little girl.

    Okay, I'm gonna say #3 is the fib.

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    1. He totally deserves it. That's a man who doesn't questions his manhood.

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  19. The Botox pumpkin. HAHAHA!

    I saw Alex's comment and that he said #2 is true. I was hoping that one wasn't true. For Roland's sake.

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  20. The BEST memes!! ^_^ I can't decide between the killer pumpkin and dad riding hood as my favorites. Lol!

    Go Roland! I'm going with, er, number three for the lie.

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  21. Those funnies are hilarious--as good as Chris the Story-reading Ape's Monday cartoons. Thanks for the lift to my week.

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    1. I haven't been to Chris's place. I'll have to hunt him down.

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  22. Nice to see Roland here! Wishing him much success. Sounds like your birthday month is going well! :)

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    1. For sure! It came in with a storm. Literally. ;)

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    2. Thanks, Karen. I am getting around all right!

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  23. Happy Birthday if it is this month :)

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    1. It is indeed. Thank you. It's Roland's month too!

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  24. Oh my goodness, those memes are fabulous! Thanks for sharing this!

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    1. I hope you got a good laugh out of it. (You'll live longer.)

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  25. Love those memes and love Roland's piece of soul he shared! :)
    #2 has to be the lie. I hope.

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  26. LOL! Love the gifs, they are too funny.

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  27. The one with the ghost hitting the door has me cracking up (though I hope that no one was hurt, of course).

    Congrats to Mark! What a prize pack.

    So excited to see Roland's tour here. I have been seeing it everywhere! Wishing him all the best!
    ~Jess

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  28. Thanks for the Halloween pics, Crystal! I saw Halloween Krispy Kremes today but good girl that i am, i didn't buy any!!
    Great to see Roland here!
    No 1 has to be the lie as I'm pretty sure the other two are truths.

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    1. LOL. Way to resist. My hubby has a weakness for those things too.

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    2. The only way I stay doughnut-free is to stay out of bakeries! Good to see you here, too!

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  29. Hi Roland and Crystal - great selection of fun pics for ghosts and Halloween ... they are fun. # 1 is the lie ... Roland you've an interesting life with way too many extremes in it ...

    But to both of you Happy Birthdays, happy Halloweens and here's to success for the time ahead .. if you can keep away from the pumpkin knife ... cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary. Here, let me unknife the pumpkin so we can all rest easier.

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    2. Hilary, my friends say I don't have Bad Luck; I have Strange Luck!

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  30. I'm not sure if it's the flash or what, but I find it really difficult to scroll down your page. It always freezes up. Anyway, OCt is my fave month! I'm an OCt baby too!!

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    1. Good to know. Thanks for the heads up.

      And yay for us! Happy birthday!

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  31. Hehehehe those pics and gifs are hilarious. This truth or lie game is tricky... Uhm...

    I'm thinking #2.

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    1. I know! If I didn't know this answer, this one would totally trip me up.

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    2. Another's life is always hard to guess from their faces or prose!!

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  32. Great memes! I’ve always loved Halloween, which is good because in my town it’s a month long celebration with it’s own guidebook, magazine, and over a quarter million visitors. I used to spend every Halloween in New Orleans, but Salem is fun, too. :)

    Happy birthday and congrats to you and Roland. Wishing you both every success!

    VR Barkowski

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    1. Thanks, VR. Halloween in New Orleans hasn't been the same since Katrina. :-(

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    2. My hubby used to live in an area like that--with super Halloweening. I would LOVE that, but I don't think I could do the cold. ;)

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  33. I'm hoping #2 is the lie. Living on the streets... not so good. Great post, Crystal. Love the guy climbing out of the fridge.

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  34. Both of you enjoy a spooky good birthday.

    I have a frying pan that would kill someone.

    #3 is the lie.

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  35. That frying pan vid makes me suspicious. Who was filming then and why?

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  36. Dangit, I only clicked on this because I thought you were giving away Roland. ;)
    LOVE the Botox pumpkin LOL. My favorite time of year too. October through December is just the best.

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    1. LOL Yes, October through December has always been my favorite months of the year. New Year's Day always depresses me for some reason. May this Halloween be special for you, Julie.

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    2. And once October hits, the year is over.

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  37. I'm guessing number 1 is the lie. October rocks! It's fall, and my daughter was born this month. Happy Birthday to you!

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    1. Aw! Happy birthday to your daughter! (I hope you don't let her throw any wild parties this year. ;)

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  38. Congratulations, Roland.
    My oldest son and two granddaughters have birthdays this month, so it's a great month. The fall season is my favorite.
    I think #2 is the lie.
    Have a nice weekend, everyone.

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    1. Beverly! How wonderful! Honestly, I think every family has at least two or three birthdays in October. It's a magnetic month. ;)

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  39. Loved those pumpkin memes. Especially the one where the little girl is the wolf and her father is "Little Red Riding Hood". But didn't the wolf inevitably get killed? … Or maybe I'm misremembering the story. Either way fun post!

    Can't believe you've been working on Timeless for so long! And there were so many MORE words added by the time you finished. I mean I get it, but WOW! Thanks for offering the giveaway! :)

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    1. Lol. Yeah... Let's not think about the wolf's fate.

      Technically, I was only working on TIMELESS for about 1.5 years, but the whole series has been in my head a lot longer.

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  40. You definitely get the award for best Halloween GIFs, EVER! :) Love those.

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  41. Love the ghost child. Bad timing, but hilarious.
    As for the lie, I'll guess #1.

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  42. Halloween is definitely one of my favorite times of the year, usually, but I'm just not feeling it this year. >_< Those pictures are hilarious, though. I think I like the ghost one the most. :P

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    1. You need to come hang with my family for a couple days. You'd totally be feeling it.

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  43. What do you mean you're not giving away Roland? False advertising! LOL

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    1. Lol. Hear that, Roland? Carrie want to take you home.

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  44. It's nice to finally put Roland's face to his name--I had no idea what he looked like! I'm going to guess #3 is the lie. I had no idea he'd written over 30 books--WOW.

    Halloween's one of my favourite seasons too, which probably doesn't surprise you.

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    1. I always loved dressing up for Halloween: both as a receiver of candy and the disspencer! I thought it was time to show my face ... and frightening as it is, what season could be better than Halloween!

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  45. I've never seen a guy hopping out of the fridge. Now thats freaky cool. No #2 is the lie.

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  46. Roland is awesome. I can't get over how many books he's written! I'm going for #1 as the lie.

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    1. I cannot tell a lie ... ah, I guess I did though. Tomorrow is when we find out, right?

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    2. Oh, Nick, I also have 26 audio books out as well! :-)

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    3. Wednesday. We find out Wednesday.

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  47. Yay for Roland!!! :)
    I always hate admitting Halloween is not my fave holiday - I'm way too much of a wimp for all the scary movies they show this month!! :)

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    1. Lol. I used to be a wuss. Then I got married...to a Zombie fan.

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    2. Lol. I used to be a wuss. Then I got married...to a Zombie fan.

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    3. Lol. I used to be a wuss. Then I got married...to a Zombie fan.

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  48. Congrats to Roland.
    I'm scared of pumpkins now, by the way...
    Oh, the lie! I'm guessing #1

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  49. You do make me laugh :) Congrats to Roland - I was a lucky winner of his audio book - great stuff. I do hope number 2 is the lie - how terrible. Have a super week.

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Hit me with your cheese!