Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Cheesiest Post of 2014

You love cheese, right?

My posting schedule has changed. I'm only posting Wednesdays (with minor exceptions) until further notice, so my Motivational Mondays and Funny Fridays are going to appear every other week at the head of these posts. That said, who's ready to laugh?

You've probably seen this floating about, but I must have created it in my sleep. That, or my spiritual twin accessed her/his prowess and channeled our collective genius into a single statement.


Yup. Epic, right? Want some more?

Source







If your cheese meter hasn't been filled yet, how about a giveaway?

Writerly Wednesdays here are for readers and writers. Get to know authors, test your human lie detector skills, and WIN books. 

Last week, Julie Flanders shared two truths and one lie about herself and those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing to win The Ghosts of Aquinnah.

The options were:


1. While work as a psychiatric social worker, helping with assessments for the county jail, she was nearly strangled by an inmate who was having a psychotic episode.
2. She was in drama club as a teen and loved performing in plays and musicals.  
3. Julie desperately hates pie and can’t understand why anyone would choose it for dessert.

And the lie is: 

#2. Yeah, no drama club for Julie. Sorry, folks. As much as you don't want it to be true, Julie is a pie hater.  

Way to guess those of you who got it right! You are officially human lie detectors. And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Alex J. Cavanaugh!

Congrats, Alex!

Today I'm super stoked because I get to unveil Cathrina Constantine's NEW book cover. Say hello to Tallas!

In a decimated world, setting foot outside the protected village of Tallas is certain death—or so they say. Mutations caused by those in the wilderness have plagued Tallas’s citizens—or so they say…

For Doogan and Keeyla their belief in a Free Tallas has lost its glimmer. And when their young son, Fabal, is given a very dangerous assignment, they risk everything to protect him. Fleeing Tallas, they head for the wilderness. But when they are ambushed by cruel Mediators, Doogan is recaptured, and while Keeyla and Fabal escape, she is severely injured.

Can the two of them survive in the wilderness? Will Doogan getaway from the clutches of the Mediators? And are the terrible legends about the monsters beyond the walls of Tallas true?

Mark your calendars folks, because this one will be up on Amazon February 1st!!! 

Super cool, right? I love the color scheme, and the blurb? *drooling* And now, let me introduce you to the wonderful author: 

Cathrina Constantine, the author of Wickedly They Come and Tallas, resides in Upstate New York with her husband, five children, two Labrador Retrievers and two cats. Constantine is represented by The Belcastro Literary Agency. When not with her family, baking, crafting, reading, or stationed at the computer writing, you will find her walking in the backwoods with her dogs, conjuring up a new tale. 

Her favorite cheese if Yancey's Horseradish. (It's kinda spicy hot and sweet rolled into one.) You might stumble across her eating it while watching a good movie.

Cathrina gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Can you figure out the lie? Those who do will go into my magic hat for a chance to win Tallas in eBook. Eek! How cool is that? You have until Tuesday, January 21, at 1 p.m. EDT to guess--and be sure to come back for the answer on January 22nd.

TRUTH OR LIE

1. Cathrina danced on a Vegas stage.
2. A horse fell on top of her when she was 16.
3. When an icy snowball hit her mouth, she needed 3 stitches.

And now, enter to win!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Remember to join my SUPER FUN blogfest and celebrate something wonderful with my cohosts and I. Details HERE.

Okay, what is the lie? What's the best cheese joke you've ever heard? Did you get enough cheese?

126 comments:

  1. Oh, my funny pics! With each image I felt I had something to say! That would be too much, though. So I'll go with "This was the CHEEZZZZE-EST post ev'ah!

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  2. Ha ha ha! Love the "You Monster" pic and the one with the photographer. :)

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  3. I hadn't seen the pics. Funny. And great cover.

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  4. Love the one with the swimmers and cheese curds! The rest are great, too, but that one -- I remember the photo from the Olympics so that made it extra awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And who doesn't LOVE cheese curds, right?

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  5. Oh, the cheez its on the cat is killing me! Hilarious! I only post on Wednesday now and I love it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to post once a week, but you know, there's just so much awesome on the interwebz. (It might have been the A-Z Challenge that change me.)

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  6. Love the colors on the cover of Tallas. So pretty!

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    Replies
    1. Kelly, I can't take the credit. It was all Melissa Stevens. I love it, thanks.

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  7. Hmm cheesy! I love 'say people'!

    I'll go for #1 as the lie.

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  8. The Tallas cover is fantastic!! And I am totally with the swimmers about cheese curd. Yum!!!
    LOL I wouldn't be able to get even one cheez-it on my cat before he woke up.

    Thanks again for featuring me here for WW, Crystal!

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    Replies
    1. You've got a light sleeper on your hands, eh?

      Julie, it was a privilege to have you.

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  9. Hey, I got one right!!
    The Cheez-its on the cat is hilarious.
    And congratulations, Cathrina! Awesome cover. My guess is number one is the lie.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Alex. And thanks for putting the cover on your site today!! So appreciative!!

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    2. Alex, you've gotten a few right, but this time you won the luck of the draw too! Yay! (Go get a lottery ticket right now, eh?)

      Delete
  10. I like cheese! Super fun post as usual, Crystal!

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  11. I love your enthusiasm Crystal. Could you bottle it up and hand some over to me? Thank you for giving me a spot on your site for my cover reveal.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *shifty eyes* *leans in and whispers* I'm all out of bottles.

      Delete
  12. I love the cheese pics!! The cheez-it game made me laugh out loud, mostly because I was imagining the cat's expression when it woke up to find itself covered in cheez-its...

    AND - CONGRATULATIONS CATHRINA!!!! The cover is gorgeous. So exciting!!! I'm going to agree with Alex (he IS a winner, after all ;) ) and choose #1 as the lie.

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    1. Thank you, Liz. I hope the story lives up to the awesome cover.

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    2. Hee hee. Cats and their cheese. =)

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  13. I love cheese and also think it's GRATE! Love the kitty one. I don't have a cat so I can't try that. I have a Labrador dog and doubt if I'd get away with placing one piece of cheese on her. She devours everything in seconds!

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    Replies
    1. Yikes! Don't get between that dog and its cheese!

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  14. Congrats, Alex!

    Okay, I say #1 is the lie.

    Good luck with your new schedule, Crystal. Hope it's easier for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Theresa. It's been painful forcing myself into it, but I imagine it will get easier.

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  15. The cheese-its on the sleeping cat is hilarious! I think I'll try that on my cat Ruby :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ... Did I forget to put a disclaimer on this post? --I cannot be prosecuted for limbs lost or injuries acquired while mimicking inferred games or any likeness thereto.

      =)

      Delete
  16. Mmm, cheese!

    Congrats to Cathrina! Love the cover!

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  17. Love the cheese!

    Congrats Cathrina! Your book sounds and looks amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The closer to release date the edgier I get.

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  18. Going with #2 for the lie and loving the grate cheese pics. Yeah. I just said that...

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  19. Love cheese... best food ever... ;-)

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  20. Wow, human, Crystal, so much info for my doggy brain to absorb. Number 4 is definitely the lie.

    At this point, I would probably attempt a few predictable cheese puns. I know, you Gouda be kidding. Instead, I leave you with a series of films, and no, not the film on really stinky cheese, but movie type films that were dedicated to cheese. 'The Big Cheesy', 'Cheesy Rider', 'Five Cheesy Pieces', 'Cheesy Come, Cheesy Go' and of course, who could forget this classic British cheesy movie, 'Cheese Sir!'.

    Perhaps the idea of being overwhelmed by the fumes of really strong cheese, makes you think of these lyrics, 'cheese release me, let me go...' Then again, to kinda', sorta' quote John Lennon, '..all we are saying is give cheese a chance...'

    Hearty congrats to Cathrina Constantine. Grate posting! Thanks for sharing! :)

    Pawsitively cheesy wishes, your way,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

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    Replies
    1. Hah! You're full of it Penny. All good stuff. And punny. =)

      Delete
  21. I shared the "Say People" images from you on Facebook the other day. Tood funny.

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    Replies
    1. Hee hee. Watch out. Cheese may go flying viral!

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  22. Oh, I signed up for the Moonless Blogfest too.

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  23. "Say people!" That one's pretty "gouda." Ha! See what I did there?
    Hope my sense of humor doesn't "grate" on you.

    Cathrina's cover is amazin'

    And I'll pick #1 as the lie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jay! All the credit goes to The Illustrated Author for the awesome cover!

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  24. Excellent cover, Cathrina! I want the Vegas stage dancing to be true! So I'm going with the snowball because I really didn't want that (or the horse) to be true.

    Loved the cheese pictures, Crystal. My Urchins made up a song praising Feta cheese two nights ago at the dinner table. It went a little something like this.

    Feta, Feta, Fetaaaa,
    Nothing is bettaaa
    I eat it wearing a sweataaa
    And that's why we love Fetaaaa.

    It was quite a heartfelt (and loud) serenade to their salad cheese. My world is nothing if not bizarre.

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    1. I'm really starting to like this truth and lie thingy. Thank you Ava.

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    2. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Oh, I want to come over for dinner some time, Ava. EPIC.

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  25. Haha, okay, I love the pic with the black cat... unfortunately, if I tried that game, my black cat wouldn't just wake up, he would bite my hand until he drew blood ;)

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    Replies
    1. ...You have a killer cat? *batting eyes innocently* (I bet it turns into a bat at night too and goes out to suck blood.) ;) --Kidding, kidding. *boarding over windows for after dark*

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  26. "Say People" is my favorite!

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  27. What a gorgeous cover!

    So many funny cheesy things. I needed a good LOL today!

    Let's see, the lie will be the dancing on the Vegas stage. Just a random guess.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL at your service. Just ring your silver bell and I'll send him right over!

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  28. Replies
    1. *gasp* But what ever will we do without you? *batting eyes*

      Delete
  29. Isn't it rather early in the year to declare this the cheesiest post of 2014? Perhaps the cheesiest SO FAR...
    That cover looks amazing- tranquil and dangerous all at the same time. Huge congrats to Cathrina!

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    Replies
    1. Tranquil and dangerous is right. Thanks Bev.

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    2. Bev, what are you trying to do to me? Is that seriously a challenge to be CHEESIER? *gulp* *straightening up bravely* Challenge accepted.

      Delete
  30. I love the cheese! And the cover. The cover looks great! My guess is #3. It probably took more or less stitches than what she said.

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    Replies
    1. Cheese is the best. My husband can eat tons! Glad you like the cover Loni.

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    2. Wait, do squirrels eat cheese? I don't want to get sued or anything...

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  31. The lie is #3, but I really have no clue. I like provolone.

    Love,
    Janie

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  32. I'm a cheese fan too - love these!
    I know people who've had stitches from snowballs and I know people who've had horses fall on jumps and land on them, but I don't know anyone who's danced on a Vegas stage so I'll say #1 is the lie :)

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    Replies
    1. There's a first for everything. *shifty eyes* That's not an answer.

      Delete
  33. Love the cheesy jokes :)
    I've only eaten one cheese I didn't like, and I don't recall what the name of it was. I don't know what my favorite is ... all the rest!
    I think the lie is #1
    but it could be #2
    so it's probably #3

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    Replies
    1. Ignorance is bliss!

      So, basically what you're saying is, "I guessed them all so I HAVE to win." LOL!!!

      Delete
  34. Replies
    1. I love pics too. Wait, are we talking about guitar playing or photography? *so confused*

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  35. Congrats to Alex! Julie's book is fantastic. And yay for Cathrina! Love that cover. I think the lie is #2.

    Thank you for the cheese funnies, Crystal! I feel nibbly now.

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    Replies
    1. Is that similar to nimbly? Because I would love to be nimble, but I definitely wouldn't want to be nibbled upon. Hm.

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  36. Lots of funny cheesy stuff.
    Tallas' cover is creepy in a good way.

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    1. And it's happened. The post just got shuffled into the "stuff" category. Alright, haul in the trash can gentlemen!

      Delete
  37. Wow, so much to choose from.

    I gotta try that with a cat. First, I gotta get a cat...

    I'll guess #2.

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    Replies
    1. Yes! Promoting pet ownership everywhere. =) Pa-ching! Good deed done for the day.

      Delete
  38. I cracked up at the cat one! Congrats to Alex!

    I love the cover - congrats to Cathrina - I'm going to guess that #1 is the lie. :) Now going to Goodreads to add this book. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shoot. I'm all out of glue. Hope you can get back together on your own.

      Delete
  39. Oh the cheese jokes! And that cat one is my favorite...poor kitty!
    I have no idea which one is the lie, but every time I see Cathrina's cover I shiver, it's so beautiful! Sounds like it's gonna be a really good book!

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    Replies
    1. But the kitty has cheese. How can it be poor?

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    2. Thanks, Grace. I hope the story lives up to the cover!

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  40. I, too, liked the cat one most! I'm going to guess the snowball one is a lie! Don't ask me why! Have a good one!

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    Replies
    1. Dude!!!! You're a poet, and you didn't even think about it!

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  41. Hahaha! Love that cat picture!
    Um .... those three facts are all so whacky, it's really hard to choose the lie! Sheesh ... okay ... #2!

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    Replies
    1. Sheesh. Okay. I guess we'll accept that. ;)

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  42. I'm going to guess 1 is the lie, but since I'm not an expert at detecting adult lies, I'm probably wrong. ;0)

    I love the cat experiment. I'm going to try that on my cat and see what happens.

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    Replies
    1. You rock-awesome at untangling kids lies though. Which is probably more important. =)

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  43. Totally cheesy! Did you know there is a website called Stuff on my Cat?

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    Replies
    1. No way!!! Okay, I know where I'm headed to burn the next hour.

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  44. Love the cheese pics! Cheesy or not, they made me laugh.

    Have a great weekend! :)

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    Replies
    1. Yay! I shared cheese and chuckles? The day doesn't get much better than that.

      Delete
  45. I would guess #1 as the lie, and congrats to Alex. I loved the cat with cheese nips. Here's one:

    What do you call cheese that's not yours? NACHO cheese.

    Great blog.

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    Replies
    1. *face palm* LOL. We won't address the fact that most nacho cheese isn't actually cheese... ;)

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  46. Ack! The Cheese made me laugh!!!

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    1. Is that one of those, "the dog made me do it," "my friend made me do it" kind of excuses? ;)

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  47. I would love to eat a whole table of Cheetos! I'd at least give it my best shot. =D

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    1. Are you volunteering for clean up duty? (*speaking into radio* Nix the doggy clean up crew.)

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  48. I live in the country of cheese but now, all I can think of is Cheez-It crackers and after visiting Christine's blog, I wanting goldfish crackers too!!! Congrats to Cathrina on her new book, and to Alex for guessing Julie's lie! How can anyone hate pies? *scratching head* :)

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    Replies
    1. I know! Who doesn't like pie? (*nervously laughing and backing away*)

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  49. Yay for Cathrina and congrats to Alex.

    Bring on the cheese.

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  50. Those cheese pics are hilarious! The "Say People" one especially had me laughing...

    Also, love Cathrina's cover--so stunning! I think I'll guess #3 is the lie...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah... Life through the eyes of cheese...

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  51. I've never really been that into cheese, even before I began transitioning to veganism, but I thought the photography picture was cute.

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  52. ... and I sincerely hope that no cheese was harmed in the creation of the above images... LOL

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    Replies
    1. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Michelle, you are classic. Whew!

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  53. Hi Crystal .. I love cheese ... but congratulations to Alex .. then I think #3 is a distinct possible winner .. snowballs can huuuurrrrt!

    Cheers and have a good year ahead .. Hilary

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    Replies
    1. Hilary, any lover of cheese is a friend of mine. Here's to the best 2014!

      Delete
  54. All this talk of cheese has made me hungry! I love the photo one- with "Say people". :)

    Congrats to Alex on detecting the last lie.

    This time I think the lie is having a horse fall on her. I love the cover of the Tallas and the book sounds great. Thanks for a chance to win. Best of luck to Cathrina. :)
    ~Jess

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    Replies
    1. Mmm. Hungry... Yes, I think I'll have cheese for lunch. =)

      Delete
  55. Lol! Cheesy indeed! Funny pics.

    Awesome cover though!

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    Replies
    1. The better to make you laugh, my dear. =)

      Great to see you here, Kelly!

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  56. The cheez game is the best ever. Must try it with my cat... I might lose some fingers though... Hmm. Maybe I should rethink ;)

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    Replies
    1. Um...yeah. How would you type without fingers? Maybe use a robotic arm. There you go. ;)

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  57. Crystal, I hope you will stop by to check out the award I've nominated you for.

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Hit me with your cheese!