Thursday, November 21, 2013

Evil Vegetables

When my food nemesis is introduced to the world, it not only taints the air, but every food-like substance it comes in contact with. 

Cucumbers are the antithesis of all things delicious.

"What!?" you say. "But cucumbers are so innocuous." 

Hah! Try unflavoring your salad after cucumbers have swum through the tasty greens. Do you see the second half of the word? CUMBER. Tell me that sends positive vibes. (Eh? You can't!) There can be only one solution for the evil of "cucumbers." 

Image courtesy of luvvs2drawanime
PICKLES!!!

That's right, I said pickles. 

And now on to the blog tour...


Mystery Sentence Game: Unravel the mystery of the Moonless night! Gather all 8 hidden words from the excerpts and figure out the sentence to win a free copy of Moonless. Send your mystery sentence to crystal (AT) crystal-collier.com with the subject MYSTERY SENTENCE before December 10, 2013, and you will be entered to win one of 10 copies of MOONLESS—just in time for Christmas. Happy hunting!

Truth or Lie Game: It's Writerly Wednesday on STERIODS! (Minus the Wednesdays...and the steroids.) You have 6 chances to guess the lie and win a copy of MOONLESS. Each post has different truths and lies, so here's a chance to really test your human lie detector skills. Winners will be announced here December 11th. Are you a human lie detector?

TODAY:

Meradeth Houston hounds out my most favoritest books ever. Of all time. Period. (And a few other miscellaneous truths.)

A picture is worth 1000 words, but what about film? MOONLESS in Flash Fiction--film style with M. Pax


Random Facts: which is the lie? Help C. Lee Mckenzie figure it out. 

Ashley Nixon unveils Excerpt #6 in the Mystery Sentence Game.  

Do you believe any vegetables are evil? If so, which one? And have you met the Super Pickle?

Hey, and enter to win, eh? (You know you want to!)

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60 comments:

  1. No, I have not met the Super Pickle.
    Brussels Sprouts are evil. And disgusting. They are Super Villains.

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    1. AH! You are missing out. He resides in NYC and fights crime, er, his alter ego--the evil cucumber. ;)

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  2. I won't have anything to do with pickles, but I'll eat cucumbers. Cucumbers are crisp, yet juicy. Pickles stink while cooking. The odor makes me sick.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Dagger to the heart! I'm afraid we'll just have to disagree.

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  3. Ah, but both cucumbers and pickles are evil! You are right about the flavor, though. You can take the cucumber out of the salad, but the taste is everywhere. Ew. Perhaps vegetable-of-goodness Sweet Potato can save us!

    P.S. Thanks for stopping by my blog. And I love your writing voice! And your obsession with cheese... which is totally understandable, by the way.

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    1. You must not have had the right pickles--but as long as you're good with cheese, I accept you. ;)

      Enter the sweet potato, and the boxing match begins!

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  4. I am totally with you. Cucumbers are gross!! And pickles are too! Yuck.

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    1. *palm to forehead* Well, at least you have a strong opinion.

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  5. Sorry I have to say pickles work but by themselves or in a hamburger. Cucumbers are evil, they ruin everything, including salads. Fun stuff Crystal, you made me laugh.

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  6. Very funny, Crystal! Many vegetable traumatize me! Brussels sprouts and okra are just about the worst! Right up there with jellied beef tongue! I know that's a meat, but it's scary!

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    1. Jellied beef tongue? Are you trying to give me nightmares? ;P

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  7. hmmm i don't think i have met a vegetable i didn't like, crystal---and i love the little pickle guy ;)

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    1. Lynn, that's because you are the epitome of awesome. Yeah--I just read that post about you being easy going. Uh-huh.

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  8. Awww, not a cucumber lover? I have to have them on my salad. And while I do love pickles, I certainly don't like them in my salads :)

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    1. Maybe not, but their juice is amazing for seasoning chicken. Try it. Seriously.

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  9. All veggies are gross. Pickles are even more gross. Ick. Ugh. Yuck.

    My nephew likes to drink pickle juice. I have no words.

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    1. LOL! To each their own. I don't think I could go so far as drinking the juice...

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  10. Blek! I agree, I'm not a fan of Cucumbers!! I'm actually not a fan of anything in the melon family (at all, nothing, not a single one). But, sadly, I also don't like pickles. Something about cucumbers and vinegar coming together that doesn't work for me. :D

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    1. Aw. =( I'm with you on the melon family thing. There's something about the whole group...unsettling.

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  11. too funny. i like cukes (if they're not too soggy) and pickles, too. :)

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    1. Very kind of you to be so generous with your likes. ;)

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  12. I can eat them in salads. I like pickles better though.
    You asked about the skirt - unless it's a really cool, breezy sort of day, I think it would probably be a little warm for Florida.

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    1. Doh! I knew it. *sigh* My clothing options are so limited.

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  13. I love veggies. Just ate a salad with cucumbers. Yum. Radishes too. Mmm. Cucumbers make for great cheese sandwiches. Instead of bread use cucumber slices. Sorry to ick you out. :)

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    1. *sniffing cheese* It's okay. *sniffing deeper, averting eyes*

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  14. Evil vegetables... Hmmm... I'm not fond of them, but evil...

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  15. Until now - I had not heard of "Super Pickle" - BUT, i certainly enjoy them.

    YOU are a delight!

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  16. Ah, shucks. I've had a strong affinity for cucumbers. Must re-think that.
    These bloghops are getting so creative.
    Cheers, Crystal.
    xoRobyn

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  17. PS I didn't know I wasn't signed-on over here, so I changed that. =)

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    Replies
    1. Wahoo! Welcome aboard, and best of luck with your reevaluating the purpose of life, erm, I mean cucumbers. ;)

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  18. I don't mind cucumbers so much as they are pretty bland but there are evil vegetables for sure. Parsnips for one. When I was little my Grandmother (who I now realize was sadistic) gave me slices of what I thought was an apple. It was either a turnip or a rutabaga, I am not sure as I was too busy gagging to hear clearly what I was trying to spit out. So yes, I thing turnips, rutabagas and parsnips are all EVIL.

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    1. Shh! Don't type so loudly--they'll hear you and come for revenge!

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  19. While I agree with you about the sinister behavior of the vegetable, what about sea cucumbers? Where do they fall? As far as I know, they aren't evil.

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    1. On the side of under-the-sea-so-they-miss-out-on-the-battle-between-good-and-evil. =)

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  20. Replies
    1. *nods* The older I get, the less evil they are. Especially carrots. Who doesn't love carrots?

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    2. Completely agree! Carrots are the one vegetable I actually enjoy... (Unless they're cooked. Then they're evil, too. XD)

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  21. have you ever had cucumber falvored water? nasty stuff. they had it at some restaurant I was at once, and that was the only way you could get water

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    1. *shudders* I've had broccoli flavored water. I do live in Florida after all. ;)

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  22. I actually like cucumbers, so long as they're chopped up small as part of a salad.

    Brussels sprouts, though, are tiny steamed balls of evil. EVIL, I SAY.

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    1. I can send Super Pickle to karate chop those Brussels sprouts. =)

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  23. But pickles are cucumbers, just made for pickling. ;)

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    1. No, pickles are what happen after a CHEMICAL CHANGE. Like a superhero who was normal until radiation made them awesome!

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  24. There's a reason I add a lot of dressing.

    I love pickles.

    It's great seeing the tour spots.

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    Replies
    1. LOL! Trying to drown out the cucumber taste, eh? ;)

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  25. I live on Walden's Calorie-free dressing. :)
    Thanks for your nice visit to my blog. xo

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    1. Huh. Calorie free dressing. You've got my attention.

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  26. I'm not too keen on cucumbers or gherkins. I'm more fruity. I love olives - green, black, stuffed - whichever way they're served. Yummy.

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    1. Oooh! Green olives... Have you met Super Pickle's side kick? He's also green, and may feature a pimento stuffing.

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  27. Like you, I adore cheese. Everything is better with cheese on it, and I have at least 4 different kinds in my frige at all times! I don't really mind cucumbers, especially a cucumber sandwich with melted cheese on top. And pickles have their place too. I hate green beans. Not even cheese can help those nasty suckers. :(
    (Having fun with your word search. Good idea!)

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    1. Green beans? Really? Wow. I grew up with those in the garden out back, and fresh peas right from the pod were the most amazing treat.

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  28. Oh this one is easy broccoli My hubby gets very gassy after eating them. This veggie is pretty powerful because it is resistant to Beano. I've already tried it!

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  29. Cucumbers are nasty, I will never understand how people eat them.

    ...then again I feel the same way about cheese, and pretty much everyone likes cheese. :/

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Hit me with your cheese!