Sunday, September 15, 2013

Random Facts

So I skipped Funny Friday? Did you notice?

Well I did it on purpose. Yup. I wasn't just being lazy.

Actually I was saving the funny for a very special day. See, today is my very wonderful New Yorker's birthday, and since he's the funniest person I know, I thought I'd share him with you.

Meet Random.

Yes, that's his name, and yes, he's aptly named. It was inspiration. He is a joy, and the most mischievous thing I've ever met. He has to know exactly how things work, and once he's decided he must have or do something, not even a wild pack of hyenas can stop him. He's broken our LCD TV, two leather recliners, my fridge door, and more dishes than I care to count. If he didn't make me laugh so often, he might not be breathing.

Without further ado, let's bring on the funny, eh?

Random Sayings:
"Remember when three used to be my favorite color?"

"Dad, did you know honey is really bee barf?"

"If I see an evil dirty, I'll punch it in the face by cleaning."

"Well, I think I have the candy fever."

"Mom, when I grow up my job is going to be a Math Ninja." --And he meant literally someone who fights math equations.

Dad says, "What do you boys want for lunch?"
Older brother says, "Peace of mind."
Random perks up. "You want to eat a piece of brain?!?"

"Zombies are my favorite monster because they can't swear."

Dad said something about not performing science experiments without Mom's supervision. Random's jaw dropped. "Mom has super vision?!?"

"Mom, Dad, when I was upstairs I tripped on nature. Yup, I tripped on air. Or maybe a shadow."

He hands his dad a torn up piece of construction paper. "Dad, I made this for you. It's a zombie hippo." After a confused look from his father, he says nonchalantly, "I made it artistically."


And to wrap it all up nicely... "Mom, you're my BMF: best mother forever."

Kids are the best.

55 comments:

  1. Zombie hippos are all the rage now!
    Happy birthday to your little guy.

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    1. I know! Because who doesn't want to be smitten by a water-hogging mammoth?

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  2. Oh my goodness, he is a gem!
    'Mom has super vision?' LOLOL
    When children are this bright and smart, it inevitably means good parenting. Happy Birthday to Random, and you are doing an awesome job! :)

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    1. *blushing* Thanks. It's good to hear every now and again--especially the days I'm cleaning frog goo out of the sink. Again.

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  3. Ah, kid quotes. I love to post some on my Twitter feed, although teenager quotes aren't quite as brilliant as kid quotes. Those were some gems.

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    1. Yeah, teens tend to lose some of that childish brilliance.

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  4. Oh gosh, these Random Sayings are making me crack up so much right now! Liking zombies because they can't swear is especially amusing. I'd never thought of that before!

    I hope he has a fantastic birthday! :)

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  5. Oh my gosh! He has a great name and great quotes! I hope he had an awesome birthday!!

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    1. He did--"Best birthday ever" according to him.

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  6. Oh how awesome is he? Love the randomness in that Random of yours :P
    Happy birthday to him!

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    1. He is pretty awesome. In fact, Grandma sent him a shirt warning people about his awesomeness. =)

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  7. Random is such an awesome guy..
    much love to him.. and my wishes :)

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  8. Happy Birthday to Random! Fun quotes and awesome that you remember them. He's a cutie!

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    Replies
    1. We're collecting them for a book, Natalie. (And I didn't even share the best ones.)

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  9. Aww that last one's lovely. Some great quotes there!

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    1. Yeah, he warms my heart, and my temper, and then my heart again.

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  10. I love the name Random. Happy birthday to him :)

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  11. I feel like I should apologize that I haven't made my way to this site, but I'm the one being punished for it because your blog is EPIC. I love, love it. And your son? So cute. Plus, your face? Is there any reason to be that beautiful? No.

    Can't wait for your book release- let's do an author interview on my website, huh? Cuz I can't wait to read it!

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  12. PS- I've tagged you on my post today :)

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    1. LOL! It's not every day you get a finger pointed at you because of your excessive reader of a son. ;)

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  13. Holy freaking cow -- this little guy is awesome!

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  14. I love the things that come out of his mouth. He has a way with words. A happy birthday to him!

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    1. He definitely has a way with words, and gosh, the extent of his vocabulary...

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  15. Hey! Tell Random three is my favorite color too!
    And I love his name. Love it.

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    Replies
    1. Done. He did correct himself a second later. We just laughed.

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  16. Hey, I think I have that candy fever too! And I love that he likes zombies because they can't swear. ;)

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  17. hahahah...oh my...kids are too funny. almost cheesy funny, almost makes you want to say CHEEZ WHIZ! sounds like munster cheese might be his fav?

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    1. He used to call it monster cheese. But I mean, of course he did, right? ;)

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  18. These are hilarious.

    I'd like to weave "evil dirty" into my conversations.

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    1. That's how my oldest has helped me devise turning cleaning into a game--by making it a quest to defeat the evil dirties.

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  19. Great post, hope he had a great birthday! Kids are the best! :)

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    1. So true. What would we do without them? (Other than have a clean house, sanity, and significantly less broken stuff?)

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  20. awww i loved these--happy happy birthday to your sweet boy :)

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  21. Aww, what a cutie!! Hope he had a great birthday. :)

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  22. Oh MY GOD - I love him!

    Mum has super vision? That made me laugh my head off. Give him a hug from me.

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  23. math ninja!! hilarious! what an imagination! he will be famous! no doubt!

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    1. I know, right? He's got the name thing going for him.

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  24. Adorable! What a funny guy! Having kids like that sure helps the monotony of life, eh?

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  25. Happy birthday to the funniest little man i've heard from! Hysterical!

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Hit me with your cheese!