Poison, Pickles, and Pampers

Bringing you your mid-week laughs...

Source

Source

(I think maybe he was poisoned.

Or he was subjected to this:)

Source

Speaking of pickles, who doesn't need some of these?

Source

For the sake of everyone everywhere, please no! 

(Or is he saying heil?)

Back to our theme for the day...

 

Last week Rachel Schieffelbein shared with us DON'T FALL, along with two truths and a lie. Those who guessed the lie correctly were entered into a random drawing for the chance to win her eBook.

Rachel's Game:

1. I once drove down a Canadian highway on a golf cart, and then took it through a McDonald's drive-thru with five other girls all on board.
2. Won a ballroom dance competition in five inch heels.
3. I was attacked by a deer. 

THE LIE: #2. I mean seriously, who can dance in 5 inch heels? #MurderMeNow

Way to guess everyone! And the winner is:

...DRUM ROLL...

Shell Flower!!!

Congrats! 

And now for this week's feature... 

Since the night her mother was murdered, sixteen-year-old Rory Gray has known one truth: There are no good Seeders. 

In post-apocalyptic Australia, the scientists known as Seeders have built a Citadel surrounded by food-producing regions and populated with refugees from the wars and famine. To maintain their control, the Seeders poisoned the land and outlawed the saving of seeds.

It’s been six years since Rory graced the Seeders’ circus stage as the Wind Dancer and still the scars on her body haven’t healed. Even worse are the scars on her heart, left by a Seeder boy who promised to protect her.

Now the Seeders are withholding supplies from Rory’s region for perceived disobedience. Utilizing the Wanderer knowledge she received from her mother, Rory must journey to the Citadel through uninhabitable terrain to plead for mercy. 

However, the Citadel isn’t as Rory remembered. The chief plant geneticist is dying and rumors fly that the store of viable seed is dwindling. The Seeders are desperate to find a seed bank they believe Rory can locate, and they will stop at nothing to get it. To defy the Seeders means death. But Rory has been close to death before--this time she’s learned the value of poison.

Get your copy HERE.

Ready to meet the author?

Lan Chan is a writer, gardener and professional procrastinator based in Melbourne, Australia. She is still waiting for her super powers to manifest but until then she writes young adult novels featuring strong female protagonists, minority characters and has a particular interest in dystopias and urban fantasy.

Although she can only handle what she calls the "essence of cheese" (ex: a pizza with the mozzarella picked off), she is still an author, and still deserves our respect. (Pity her for the cheesy goodness in life that she's missing out on and guess her lie, eh?)

Lan gave me two truths and one lie to test your "lie detector" skills. Those who figure out the lie will go into my magic hat for the chance to win an eBook of POISON. There will be 2, I repeat TWO winners.

You have until Tuesday, September 22 at 1 p.m. EDT to guess. Be sure to come back for the answers on September 23. 

TRUTH OR LIE

1. I was born in a refugee camp in Vietnam where I spent the first five years of my life. Whilst there I almost drowned twice by falling into rivers. Once it happened because I was trying to retrieve a flip flog that had fallen in. What a way to go!

2. As you might be able to tell from the environmental themes in Poison I am a bit of a nature geek. To that end I've been experimenting with alternatives to shampoo and conditioner because of all the nasty chemicals they contain. The most popular alternative is baking soda and apple cider vinegar. This is called the "No Poo Method." It did not end well. 

3. Right before we moved to Australia my family moved from the refugee camp to Saigon. One day whilst coming home from the fields surrounding our house, I had my brother on my shoulders but because he was a very chubby baby I tripped and we fell into a muddy field littered with buffalo dung. My mother was not happy when we came home.

So sleuths, which is the lie? Any LOL moments for you today? Have you read dystopian? Like it?